Monday, October 31, 2005

Stupid castpost

Ugh, videos are a no-go. Sorry all, I can't get them to load so alas you will just have to imagine a pumpkin exploding in all it's glory.

But do enjoy the pics of the party below.

Stupid castpost.

If anyone has an idea of how to make this work, I am teachable.

It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

Saturday night I had the opportunity to make my first ever appearance at the annual Pumpkin Blow (sorry if I just re-named the event).

There were costumes, yummy snacks, fireworks, and most of all an on-demand pumpkin explosion.

In honor of my dear friend Jessica, I mean Sydney Bristow, I present a photo-blog with captions.


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Jessica is my official make-up artist.

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Erica (a medieval maiden – not a wench as Scuba kept trying to call her) and Scuba (I thought he was an IRS agent but supposedly he is The Transporter)

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Jeff and his wife Jessica (they just had a sweet baby).

Ha ha funny story about Jeff: We were good friends in high school (he’s a few years younger than me) and I asked him to be my date for Sadie Hawkins (as friends). When I called him to tell him we were on our way to pick him up, he asked if Scuba could come along to the dance with us. I remember being both amused and shocked and a bit offended. I guess at that time Jeff didn’t understand that a dance date meant you didn’t bring your best friend along. We still laugh about this. Gosh that story makes me look bad, maybe that explains why I don’t get asked out. Sad and yet really funny.

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Nicolle and Rick (doesn’t Rick look like the biggest playa with his little cheerleader girlfriend – ahahahahaha)

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Jessica and Roger (I love that Roger is totally trying to out-ghetto booty Jessica in this picture)

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The entire party gang. Check out the cutie patootie baby in the pooh bear costume.

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The ladies; we’re a good lookin bunch aren’t we? Sorry guys all the other girls are taken. Too bad for you.

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We might look sweet but we’re really dangerous.

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Don’t mess with these ladies, they are trained killers.

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I love this photo, it looks very Quentin Tarrantino-ish. I don’t know if other people understand or appreciate how much fun Jessica and I have together and how silly we can be with each other.

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The guys let us ladies play with a few of the fireworks and Jessica somehow managed to set the grass on fire.

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Speaking of fire, we attempted to set a pumpkin on fire but the gasoline just burned right off. But it made for a really artistic photo.

And then the best part of the evening . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sorry, guys Castpost is being difficult. As soon as I get the videos loaded I’ll post them. Check back because these vids are so worth it.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Random Friday

Well it seems that my office may become a new wildlife habitat for polar bears, penguins, and other such artic wildlife.

I live in TEXAS people, where it is in the high 60's outside and I am pretty sure my office is just barely breaking into the 40's.


So cold, in fact, that I went out to my car and grabbed my FLEECE jacket so that I wouldn't freeze to death.

If you happen to see or hear of a great exodus of animals from the north and south pole converging in Texas you will know they are all coming to my office. And at that time you should also alert the proper authorities that there is a frozen popsicle of a woman in that same office and they may need to bring heat lamps to dethaw me.


New Computer

Well it looks like I may finally be in the 21st century, or at least my computer is now in the 21st century. It had been struggling along on its last leg and we had to shock it back to life two weeks ago so the pocket books were pried open and now I have a brand new computer.

Happy Day.

Now I have to transfer over all my stuff. UGH. It really isn't that bad and most of my documents were on the server but for some reason transferring my favorites from explorer is a whippin. Hmmm maybe this means I have too many favorite web sites. And no they're not all blogs, I do have work related web sites I need (at least a few that is).

So that is what I am doing on this Friday.

What are you doing?

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Musical Interlude

I am not a “musical” person.

I do not have any “musical” talents to boast of.

Back in elementary school my music teacher told me I didn’t have a good voice and ever since I have been very self-conscious about my singing where people can hear me. I also attempted to play violin in junior high and spent two year stuck in the “back seats” where the painfully inept would waste away far from the prying ears of our conductor.

So I find it quite ironic that I really do love music.

It is comforting, soothing, like a big blanket that you can wrap around yourself. I think more than anything I love music because it is internal in a way.

Music has the ability to express what simple words cannot. It can paint a picture with a melody and verse that some artists wait a lifetime to create on canvas. There is something within the human body that is drawn to music. A simple beat will almost force one to tap their foot. A building up of words and instruments will make you sit tall at the end of your seat waiting for that crescendo of sound and then you relax back as the music fades and quiets.

Music also speaks to us in those moments when we can’t seem to form the words that express our thoughts. We’re often drawn to songs because they comfort us in our moments of distress, they sum up the feelings of excitement and joy that are bursting forth, or they offer hope and a promise when we feel we can’t go on.

My last post, Question of the Week, asked “If you had to choose 5 songs to go on a CD that would be titled with only your name, what would they be?”. Some took this to be five songs that represent your life, while others chose their five favorite songs. I’ve come to realize that often my favorite songs do represent my life. The lyrics might not tell of something I’ve done or experienced, but the song itself reminds me of a certain moment in time, a memory of who I was at the moment I first heard the song, or a wave of emotions that have become imbedded into the music and the music into my life.

Music has this effect on people. It unites us, it divides us, but more than anything, it defines us in ways that are personal and intimate. There are songs that immediately bring a smile to my face and others that induce tears at the first few notes. Think of how we use and experience music in our lives: A wedding song or “our song” that sums up this thing that is called love; a favorite hymn played at a funeral offering comfort and hope; movie scores and soundtracks that blend emotion and action into the mind of the viewer; and so much more.

So why is this non-musical person talking so much about music? The answer is simple; I want to share with you a story of a recent musical experience.

Monday I was driving to work on a very cold morning. For some reason I was in a funk of sorts and having a good ol time in my pity party of “whoa is me”. I was listening to my new David Crowder CD – “A Collision” and a particular song came on.

So here I am, in a funky mood and really not listening to the song.

And then it happens.

Let me set the stage with the lyrics:

Are we left here on our own?
Can you feel when your last breath is gone?
Night is weighing heavy now.
Be quiet and wait for a voice that will say . . .

Come awake, from sleep arise.
You were dead, become alive.
Wake up, wake up, open your eyes.
Climb from your grave into the light.
Bring us back to life.

You are not the only one who feels like the only one.
Night soon will be lifted, friend.
Just be quiet and wait for a voice that will say . . .

Rise, rise, to life, to life . . .


Light will shine.
Love will rise.
Light will shine, shine, shine, shine.
He’s shining on us now.

If you’ve ever heard this song there is a mellowing of the music and Crowder is almost whispering “rise, rise, to life, to life . . .” then there is a build up of sound as the violin begins to play louder and louder and you hear piano join in and then all of a sudden it all comes together on the word SHINE and you hear guitars and drums and the bass and Crowder’s voice so loud and clear carrying one solid note and the other guys in the band are singing “wake up, wake up” in the background. (I’m not doing justice to this amazing moment in this song so please, please go find it and listen to it).

At the exact moment that this happened the sun burst forth from behind a building and




It was if all of a sudden something inside of me ruptured. I just started crying. It wasn’t tears of sadness or even tears of joy it was more of an immediate reaction to a truth that was made all too real in that one moment.

Music has this effect on me.

How about you?

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Question of the Week

If you had to choose 5 songs to go on a CD that would be titled with only your name, what would they be? Don't explain, just list the songs (that is part of the fun).

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Too funny to not share

I’ve mentioned my “Mom Friends” or “Old Lady Friends” or “Sister Chicks” before. These are a group of moms from the school I work at that have become such a sweet group of friends/big sisters to me. They are some of the craziest and funniest women I know. One of them is Bertha (just like a big sister to me, she is famous for her ability to pee in a super big gulp while in a moving car and not ashamed to wear a felt covered jock strap in a semi-public place) another is Naclesha (a mother of SIX who is about the biggest servant I’ve ever know and can throw out the one liners like no other).

This is an event they experienced on Saturday:

Bertha and Naclesha (obviously not their real names, or maybe that wasn’t obvious to you) are all piled into Naclesha’s big ol van (it seats 15 comfortably) and are running late to their daughter’s volleyball game. They maneuver that big bus of a van into the local Sonic Drive-In and order their army’s worth of food.

While waiting for the food to be delivered Bertha begins watching the lady in the car next to her. This woman, who appeared to be about 60 or so, had ordered a corny dog and is proceeding to diligently and carefully cover the entire thing in mustard. It seems that there was no “corny” left to be seen because she was using about six packets of mustard on this thing.

So this lady finishes up her “dog decorating” and then slaps that corny dog against her face almost as if she was trying to stick it in her ear. Bertha about falls out of her seat with shock and grabs Naclesha’s arm to get her to watch this woman.

So now corny dog lady is grabbing napkins to wipe mustard off her face, out of her ear, and from her hair and Bertha and Naclesha are stuck somewhere between laughter and shock. The next thing they know corny dog lady grabs her cell phone and smacks it against her ear.

They both lose it with laughter.

So the moral of the story is this:

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Because one day I want to grow up and be like Eddo

I borrowed this from Eddie who borrowed it from Amber.

Katie needs: A google search.

Katie needs to go. (Where?)

Katie needs a real man, not someone who believes in aliens and acts as though those very aliens gave him a honorary degree in psychiatry! (Uhh that goes without saying)

Katie needs to get a grip. (On life?)

Katie needs to figure out if she wants to move forward, maintain old friends, or what kind of person she is going to be. (Check)

Sometimes, Katie needs extra time. (But only sometimes)

Katie needs an experienced family without any younger children who she may see as rivals for affection. (I guess this means I'm high maintenance?)

Katie needs rescueing from the sheriff after her attempt to kill SheriffJack Strickland (ha ha from the book The Texan Bride)

Katie needs much help. Katie is a freek in a pool full of other freeks (and obviously a freek is different from a freak)

Poor Katie Needs Gas Money (I do, send me some)

Katie needs to talk at talking times only (oh this appeared on my report card way too many times)

Katie needs to "grow up" and give up the things of childhood - namely her blankie - but her invisible friends have other ideas. (Yes those invisible friends are quite possessive)

Katie needs to use the litter pan on her own (I’m working on it, I’m working on it)

Katie needs to run far, far away. (well maybe drive or walk I'm not much of a runner)

'Katie' needs no deadheading (what exactly is deadheading?)

Katie needs to lighten up a little and try to be more understanding about others opinions and choice not to treat every conversation like a debate (OMW does this person know me?)

Katie needs you (picture a poster with me pointing my finger at you and I’m dressed in red, white, and blue)

katie needs to get out of the sticks and get a computer and the internet (hahahahaha so true)

Katie needs a loo (when I am in England only)

Katie needs to hit Carl over the head with that Cow bell of his (not sure what Carl did to me but I have a cow bell for moments just like this)

Monday, October 24, 2005


Have you ever tried to put together a jigsaw puzzle without the box?

I have this childhood memory of my grandmother pulling out a gallon zip-lock bag filled to the brim with puzzle pieces. It seems the box had been lost long ago. As children we set forth to tackle this problem with what can only be called “ignorant optimism.” We didn’t need that box; we were a Cracker Jack team of puzzle champs and were ready to meet this challenge head on. In fact we had a clue to what the puzzle was supposed to look like because my grandmother remembered it was of “animals.”

HOURS later and we were all ready to give up and throw that stupid puzzle at each other in frustration. Why? Because putting a puzzle together without knowing exactly what it is supposed to look like is hard. Putting together a puzzle when you have the end product right in front of you is hard enough but trying when you only have a general idea of what you are working toward is tough.

Life feels like that to me sometimes. In all reality we really are living a jigsaw puzzle life where each day, each hour, each moment is a piece to the final product but we can only see each individual piece fitting together one at a time. We know a general idea of what the puzzle is supposed to look like but we don’t know the details, the actual picture, how each piece falls into perfect place creating this image that is already there, already present but in small, intricate parts that must be formed together.

What part of the puzzle do you start with? The corners, of course. Those pieces that are guarantees. They can’t go anywhere else so it is what you anchor the entire puzzle with. There is no ambiguity with these pieces, they are what they are and you can’t argue with where they go. Then you begin to form the border. These pieces come with a bit more options of their placement and they take some trial and error but eventually you end up with a self-contained rectangle. You have boundaries, a form, something you know you will work within. In my life those corner pieces can only be the Lord. He is the only thing that I can count on to be without ambiguity. Then the border pieces take on the boundaries He has given in my life, His will if you please. It is defined, it is fixed, and it sets up that area in which my life rests. The thing about the border is that it is anchored by each corner piece. The corners determine the shape of the puzzle while the border pieces determine the size. My life is the same way, God determines the shape of it by creating me and then His will determines the size and scope of it by His interaction within my life.

Have you ever looked at a puzzle when it is in progress? Randomness is the best way for me to describe it. You have sections done here and there and you can begin to make out what it might be but there is no clear picture of the overall idea. In fact if you begin to guess at what the picture is you miss out on all the fine detail that comes with each individual piece placed where it belongs. Life feels like that to me. Sometimes I take a step back and look at my life and it just looks random. There are areas that seem somewhat complete or finished but hey have ragged edges. Each section seems so distinct, so separated from the others. But that is because the sections connecting those “distinct” parts of my life haven’t been finished. There are so many puzzle pieces still left to place to complete the picture. If I try and look at my life as complete right now I will be looking at an incomplete picture, a distorted picture, and I will make assumptions about what the unfinished parts will contain.

Have you ever tried to force a puzzle piece to go somewhere it doesn’t belong? I have all too many times. Sometimes I force it because I think it fits there and it is just being stubborn, other times I force it even though I know I’m placing it in the wrong place but I want it to be my way. The problem with this is that we ruin the puzzle piece if we force it too much. We bend it and deform it and it becomes an entirely different shape from what it first was. We also distort the picture by forcing a piece to fit in a place that it doesn’t belong. So not only have we disfigured that one piece of the overall puzzle, we now have a picture that is wrong and flawed. Life is like that also. We try and force things to happen because we are ignorant to the overall picture or we force them out of disobedience because we want them our way. In our zeal to make something occur in our life we can not only do harm to that individual occurrence, but we also muddle the overall picture. I came up with this question recently and need to ask it of myself daily: What am I trying to take from God in my own timing and my own way that He wants to give me in His? What blessing from the Lord am I turning into a curse because I’m hijacking it? The great thing about our lives is that we can’t have a final picture with pieces in the wrong place. And like a parent who comes and corrects a child in their misplacement, God rearranges the puzzle and corrects our “forcing”. Sometimes this occurs with Him moving pieces that we have incorrectly placed, and other times it occurs with him changing those pieces so they fit where they might not have been supposed to go but are now placed (this leads to a whole other topic but rabbit trails are a death sentence to my super long posts so I may tackle this idea later).

Have you ever walked away from a puzzle defeated? I have many times, in fact I’ve gotten so frustrated with puzzles that I’ve broken up all the work I’ve already done and returned them to the box banishing them to a state of incompleteness. It’s too hard I tell myself; it’s taking too much time; I’ll never finish. All these thoughts go through my brain as I rationalize why I’ve given up, why I just don’t want to keep trying. I can’t even begin to relate how often this happens in my life. I get frustrated with not seeing progress, I get beaten down by small increments of completion, and I just want to see the end NOW. But that isn’t how a puzzle or life works. We don’t do them backwards, taking pieces away from the finished product, we have to build them piece by piece and the process is tedious and it is hard and it takes time, even a lifetime to see the final product. But the point is to continue, to pursue each individual piece, to place them with diligence and with passion knowing that the picture will emerge, there will eventually be completion. Sometimes it’s not the final product that you prize the most but it’s the perseverance you gave just getting to that final piece.

Did you use to fight over the final piece as a kid? My sisters and I did. We wanted to be the one to complete the picture, to do the final work. The funny thing is that in our lives we are never the one to place the final piece. In fact if our lives are a puzzle they will always be incomplete by our hands. At least mine will, because that final piece, the last small part that completes our lives is not our work but God’s. It is that last breath, that fleeting moment when we close our eyes for the last time after taking our last glimpse of this fallen world and our fallen state. The final puzzle piece is places as we leave this earth and our lives come to an end. And then the puzzle is complete but we really don’t care because the puzzle isn’t the point anymore. The picture it paints isn’t for us to view; it is for all those who are left behind. We’re not in the puzzle anymore, it is a picture of who we were, what we did, but it is all past tense, it is finished and done, complete within it’s boundaries. The picture is now for those who knew us, those who saw the pieces placed in their spots, even those who represent so many of the pieces. The picture is for them. All that work, all those pieces and we’re not bound by that puzzle anymore. Funny how we forget that about life. I spend so much time worrying about the pieces, how they fit together, and when I’ll know what one section or another will look like, much less the whole image, that I forget that the puzzle is something I live, life is something I go through but it isn’t the goal. It is who I am on this earth, it is who people will remember me as, but the puzzle is just a means to an end. Who I am, what I am actually working toward is beyond those individual pieces. It is in the presence of those corner pieces, in the presence of the Lord.

It's coming

Why is it that my brain begins functioning right around noon time and I can't seem to type fast enough to keep up with my inner monologue.

I'll be posting soon. Thanks for your patience (I say that as if there are hoards of people eagerly anticipating my next post - wow that is pretty arrogant, gosh I don't want to sound or BE arrogant).

So I should say, if you even care I'll be posting soon, not that you would care, because really, there is much more interesting blogging going on out there in the world.

Friday, October 21, 2005

OH NO she has a camera

If I was a doctor and I was able to prescribe relief for a cruddy day I would always prescribe dinner and chatting with a group of crazy gals (not crazy as a technical and psychiatrical term, but crazy as in fun, wild, hilarious, and just plain good people) , and not just any gals but my gals. Just the anticipation of being with these ladies can turn your whole mood around. And last night it did.

We won’t go into the cruddy day or the downcast mood because we have fun gals to focus on.

I will admit that I committed a party foul. We had all planned on meeting between 6:30 and 7:00 and I choose to sit in my car talking on the phone for a few minutes past 6:30 (just a few minutes mind you I was still in the 30 minute window). Little did I know but my friends were impatiently waiting for my presence (because the party cannot start without me there is seems). So as I was wrapping up my phone call, I spied a crazy paparazzo (the singular of this word – I looked it up to be sure) outside my window shooting pictures like a mad woman. After closer inspection I realized it was indeed Jessica (not a paparazzi but a little bit crazy – in the fun, wild, hilarious type way).

Ok can we take a moment here to point out that I have FOUR different parenthetical insertions in that paragraph alone? I wonder if this is the way I talk and if it is, should I do hand motions to signify that I am making a parenthetical (I just like using that word, it sounds smart) insertion. Would that hand motion be my two hands cupped and held up so they looked like parenthesis?

In fact now that I am camera-equipped I will give you a photo of what I mean.

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Ok back to last night. So we got together to celebrate the births of all those who came into this world in October, or just me and Nicolle. Cards were exchanged. It was then that Erica told Jes and me what she had written on Nicolle’s card. Something alluding to her recent trip to New York and meeting some actor from The Sopranos and how this evening might not be as exciting and crazy but that she did have Jes and Me to make it fun and wild. I take that as a compliment people. Jessica and I are so fun we should rent ourselves out to dinners and parties. For only a nominal fee you too can experience the hilarity and random conversations that Jes and I bring to any gathering of people.

Ok these were our waiters. It seems that the guy was in training (or that was just a ruse and the managers at Carabba’s knew that we needed not one but two waiters to handle a group like us).

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Erica, Nicolle, and Jessica knew their names all night, I missed out on the introductions because of my party foul so I referred to them as waiter girl and waiter guy. This was not meant to be rude but we didn’t connect and trade life stories like the other gals did while they were waiting for me to walk the 10 feet from my car to the restaurant.

Conversation was good, we had some catching up to do. Nicolle shared with us her exploits in New York and Las Vegas for work. As I mentioned earlier she met some actor guy from The Sopranos and she also went to Ashley Simpson’s 21st birthday party in Vegas. Of course after this, Jessica and I had to share some of our world travels for our work because you know that I do a lot of traveling for my school (Europe, East Asia, and whatnot) and Jessica has to travel all over the world to check out the gravel companies her corporation is acquiring (who knew paralegaling could be so glamorous?).

And now we come to my favorite part of the evening. I have been known to cause a bit of mischief during the dinner prayer. Now I don’t want to appear sacrilegious here, I take prayer VERY seriously and God and I are good on this. But I have been coined the “prayer bandit” and I may strike at any time by adding things to your plate from mine during prayer. I like to think of it more as an immediate blessing of more food upon your plate, an act of service on my part. Well Jessican (I mistyped that but liked it so much I wanted to keep it. Who can? Jessican.) somehow gets the distinct pleasure of sitting next to me on many such occasions and have been the receiver of some delicious food from my plate unto hers. This night though she did not want the blessings from above so she carefully removed all things that might tempt me to strike while she prayed. In fact Jessica was in such fear of what I might do that she could not stop laughing so Erica stepped up to pray. I have found that sometimes the mere threat of something has a greater affect than the actual carrying out of such threat.

So here is a view of the table from my seat. No weapons of prayer banditness in sight.

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Ok Jessica told you we talked about adoption and baby making. And I announced to the entire table that of all three of us I was the only one assured of not being pregnant anytime soon (they are all married). Nicolle so wisely informed me that I was also the only one who could have a miraculous virgin conception. I’m pretty sure that won’t happen though.

I will mention here that Jessica is one of my favorite conversationalists, if only because she can jump topics like a star athlete and move from something normal to something completely random. She is also very easily manipulated to go down crazy conversation road by just a hint of a subject. I will admit that I take distinct pleasure in manipulating her down this road, if only for the general entertainment of all.

So the night wasn’t too crazy, just some good girl time and catching up. We did get free dessert, hmmmm dessert, and yippee free.

Here is Erica – I LOVE HER HAIR

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Here is Nicolle – HAPPY BIRTHDAY

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Here is Jessica – she had her eyes closed in EVERY shot I took of her

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Then we gathered together for a group shot. Aren’t we cuties?

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Oh and yes I do now have a camera so I am officially dangerous. And as I tried to tell Jessica last night it has five mega-PICKLES. Now I realize many of you have cameras with mega-PiXels but my camera is special and it uses piCKLes.

365 days, 217 posts

It is officially the first anniversary of the launch of Kpinion. So much has occured since this little endeavor into the world of blogging began. Kpinion is now one of the most visited web sites in the world. People flock from across the globe to check in on the opinions of its author Katie. She was also recently given the title of "My Lady" by the queen of England for her blogging ability and we can now confirm that she also will receive the Nobel Peace Prize for blogging. There has also been talk of a presidential bid in 2008 and key leaders in Congress are already looking at changing the age requirement for running for president just for her. Kpinion for President, it has such a ring to it. And all this because of one little blog.

Ok so that might be a bit much. Noone ever said I wasn't given to moments of exaggeration.

It is the first birthday of Kpinion. And for this occasion I wish to offer this song:

Hap Hap Hap-pay
Bir Bir Birth-day
Hap Hap Hap-pay
Blog Birth day
Get your groove on

In honor of this day you may want to go back and see how it all started, and so I give you Kpinion's FIRST POST.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Second Impressions

Thanks everyone for telling me about your first impressions of me. If you read through the comments you will see that many of you had different opinions. It seems I come across pretty much the same to the bloggers who don’t know me in person and then I am pretty similar now to who I am online as well as in person. But for those few who’ve known me for a while, there seems to be a different first impression.

So what does that tell me? That I’ve changed. What a glorious thing to be able to say. Change might not be the best word; matured, grown, developed, yes those are much better.

It is funny to know yourself and to look back at your life and see who you were before and who you are now. Are there many major changes in my life? Not really. Have I made a major overhaul of who I once was? Nope. I think that over time and after living through certain things in my life I have just become more of who God wants me to be (at least I hope I am moving in the right direction on this front). This also allows parts of my personality that many people don’t get to see very often come out.

One thing I realized is that context is so important with how people view you. That isn’t always the best thing. For instance when I have been in roles where my administrative nature takes over many people don’t get to see the wild, crazy, fun, or as BM put it “perky” part of my personality. But then again, when you only see me in social settings you may not know that I am a pretty deep thinker, I love to discuss things, and I am super organized and very excited to be in the thick of a project or activity that has an end goal.

So is it a good thing that I seem to have these dual personalities – Fun Katie and Serious Katie? Not always, because if you only get to see one personality you are missing out on the entirety of who I am. Now this is wholly my fault because I choose to only show that one part of my personality that is exhibited by the context of my surroundings.

So here are a few questions:

If someone who met be “before” met me now would they notice a difference? Would they take the time to notice a difference of would they just assume that I am still the same person I was when they first encountered me and observed their first impression?

Is everyone a set up multiple personalities and images and often we decide how we feel about a person by just looking at the certain one that is visible in the context of the situation we first encounter them in?

Do I portray a certain personality or first impression because that is what I think people want to see? Do other people do the same? Am I willing to take the time to get past that first impression (which may not be entirely true) and get to know the real person?

Just something I was thinking about.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

First Impressions

They say that first impressions can make or break you.

We interrupt this blog to bring you this public service announcement from the mind of Kpinion:

Let’s take a moment here to talk about the infamous “they”. I want to be one of the “they”. In fact, you may not realize it but I am one of the “they”. I am actually the only “they” there is in the world but you wouldn’t just listen to me so I had to make myself plural thus the “they” instead of the “she”. And then it couldn’t just be Katie of Kpinion said because then you wouldn’t give it the weight that you give it when it is just anonymous “they”. Funny that we will attack the suppositions put forth by a person because we can evaluate who they are and how we view their ability to reason but if “they” say it then we take it as absolute truth because who can argue with “they” if you don’t know who “they” is. I am so very crafty that I made myself into “they” because I will slowly but surely take over the world by spreading my kpinions as fact under the pseudonym of “they”.

And now back to your regular programming.

So where was I? Oh yes, first impressions and how they can make or break you. I often wonder exactly what type of first impression I make on people. Is it good, is it bad, or is it just ok? Then I also ponder if I make the same general first impression on everyone or do my surroundings, the nature of the meeting, or better yet the “role” that I am in at that moment distinguish between the impression I make. And then I begin to think, is my first impression a true impression of me? Or is my first impression just that, an impression of who someone perceives me to be by assumptions they make about me due to the context in which they first encounter me (and yes I think the word encounter is important here because to meet is to learn a name or to see a face but to encounter is to be impacted enough that you take away an impression of that person.)

I’m interested to know what people’s first impressions of me are. Now this is not a plea for praises and fawning over me (although that will in no way be discouraged). In fact some of my best friends had HORRIBLE first impressions of me. Thank goodness they decided to give me a second chance and get to know me a bit better.

This is also an ironic type question to ask on a blog because there is only a handful of you who know me personally, i.e. have encountered that which is Katie in person. So I’m wondering if I give a different impression on my blog then I do in real life and then if the specific post or general line of posts that you first encountered at Kpinion gave you a specific first impression.

Now I want you to be HONEST. In fact I want Eddo to state his first impression of me because I know for a fact it wasn’t the best in the world. And for those few of you (and this would really only be Steve and JCol) who met me first online and then in person I’m interested to know what each first impression was and what was different between the two.

Now I will not ask you to provide me this information without giving my impression of you in return (I’m a big fan of reciprocity). So if you comment I will, in turn, comment back

Tuesday, October 18, 2005


I actually wrote this post weeks ago but I'm pretty sure I never posted it. Unfortunately this is still how I'm feeling so I figured I would put it up here.

I’m not complaining. I’m really not. I guess I’m mostly just questioning. It seems to be just a part of my life now, the questioning that is.

I’ve come to accept “it” as the status quo. I’ve posted about “it”. I think about “it”. I even sometimes talk about “it” as if "it" will one day not be something I struggle with.

The “it” is that I’m restless.

There’s a feeling that this isn’t where I belong. Maybe it’s just a passing thing. Tomorrow may be different. But today, right now, I’m restless.

I like my job but I don’t love it. It isn’t why I get up in the morning. This is a good thing, I’m not sure I ever want my job to be the reason I get up in the morning. I want whatever job I have to be a means to an end of living but for all the other “stuff” in my life to be why I get up everyday and go to that job. That said, I don’t want my job to be something I just do. I want to get pleasure and fulfillment out of my job, but in the proper perspective to what it is.

It’s not just the job though. I’m restless in life. Do you have those moments when you know something with such conviction but you don’t have it in focus quite yet? I know that there is something out there for me, something new and different and waiting but I just can’t make it out.

I don’t want to sound like I am frustrated or unsatisfied with all the things going on in my life. I’m not. I work with amazing people, I get to serve in a great church, I have wonderful friends and family, and there is so much more.

I’m happy.

But restless.

Maybe my problem is that I’m so worried about what is out there, what is to come, that I’m missing all the things in front of me right now. That is a very good possibility and that makes me disappointed in myself. I never want to be looking for the better option and miss out on the perfect one right in front of me. But then again I don’t want to get so comfortable in here and know that I miss opportunities for what could have been.

All this to say, I’m restless but I don't know what for.

Question of the Week

What is the most overrated thing you can think of ?

Monday, October 17, 2005


UGH. That is all.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Random Day

Hmmm, I realized today that I think I have misplaced my “funny”. I’ve been rather serious of late, and that has been for a very good reason. Serious things have been happening.

And yet in honor of Friday, I wish to instill a bit of “funny” back into kpinion. Don’t worry the deep thinker has not left the building but you have to understand that there are many facets to the personality of kpinion and humor is one of them. I feel like I just need a laugh today.

So I went to a concert last night of my favorite band Shane and Shane and below are a few tidbits of notice:


I am officially OLD. Duede Seriously, the average age at this concert was maybe, MAYBE 21. I felt like an old fart with all the high school kids running around. When did I get old? Oh yea, I forgot, Wednesday.


Shane Barnard decided to be “vulnerable” and share the first song her ever wrote with the crowd. It is called the Spam song and I believe he wrote it for a speech class in college. This might have been my favorite song of the night. Here is a sampling of the lyrics:

Oh I need some Spam...
There's just something 'bout that processed ham...
Oh it gives me energy... S
o won't you have some Spam with me?
And we'll be a big Spam-ily!

I need to find a way to work the word Spam-ily into conversation more often.


Also if I was ever in a band I would be the key-tar player. Yep, I’m taking you back to the 80’s and pulling a Revenge of the Nerds. I could totally rock the key-tar. It’s small, it only has a few keys and it has all those buttons with the built in beats. I would ROCK. David Crowder played the key-tar for a song and it was so funny and yet so cool. In fact I think he could play the maracas and it would be cool because he just looks cool. I don’t look that cool so maybe I couldn’t pull of the key-tar. I know I’m not cool enough to pull off the accordion. How cool would you have to be to pull off the accordion?


I need to watch my internal/external conversations. While buying a t-shirt last night at the concert I noticed that the guy who was helping me was pretty cute and I happened to say that out loud. I think I was trying to quietly mention that to my friend standing right next to me but it came out a lot louder than I meant it to and the other guy working the table completely heard me. In fact as the words left my mouth I could see him out of the corner of my eye react to what I said. Yep I’m pretty sure I turned a deep burgundy red when I turned back to the table and he asked if I needed any help. I should have replied “No thank you, but I would love it if you could just forget the last 10 seconds of your life and the verbal outburst I just subjected you to about your friend over there.”


I forget that many people have not seen the “wild” side of Katie. Well as wild as I can get at least. Therefore I think I might have shocked a few of my friends last night when I went a bit crazy rocking out to David Crowder. It was fun. Sometimes you just can’t sit still when good music is blaring, you gotta move.

Thursday, October 13, 2005


Do you ever just feel completely helpless? You see someone you care for hurting and yet you can't do anything to change the situation they are in, to take away the pain, to answer the questions they have. All you can do is listen, try to comfort them, and pray.

Your words are empty, the hope you try to offer seems flat, the "I'm sorry's" carry so little weight. I would give anything I could to take their pain away from them and yet I can't.

So I offer the only comfort I can, the only hope I can: I pray. I ask the One who is greater than me to be their comfort, to be their peace, to provide the answers they seek.

I love the Psalms. I love the poetry, the honesty, the emotion, the bareness of them. They often are my cries in weakness and in praise.

Last night I sought the Psalms for something to pray, something to speak back to God to beg Him for His mercy and His comfort for my friend and to remind me that He is in control.

I found Psalm 77

My voice rises to God, and I will cry aloud;
My voice rises to God, and He will hear me.
In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord;
In the night my hand was stretched out without weariness;
My soul refused to be comforted.
When I remember God, then I am disturbed;
When I sigh, then my spirit grows faint. Selah.
You have held my eyelids open;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
I have considered the days of old,
The years of long ago.
I will remember mysong in the night;
I will meditate with my heart,
And my spirit ponders:
Will the Lord reject forever?
And will He never be favorable again?
Has His lovingkindness ceased forever?
Has His promise come to an end forever?
Has God forgotten to be gracious,
Or has He in anger withdrawn His compassion? Selah.
Then I said, "It is my grief,
That the right hand of the Most High has changed."
I shall remember the deeds of the LORD;
Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.
I will meditate on all Your work
And muse on Your deeds.
Your way, O God, is holy;
What god is great like our God?
You are the God who works wonders;
You have made known Your strength among the peoples.
You have by Your power redeemed Your people,
The sons of Jacob and Joseph. Selah.
The waters saw You, O God;
The waters saw You, they were in anguish;
The deeps also trembled.
The clouds poured out water;
The skies gave forth a sound;
Your arrows flashed here and there.
The sound of Your thunder was in the whirlwind;
The lightnings lit up the world;
The earth trembled and shook.
Your way was in the sea
And Your paths in the mighty waters,
And Your footprints may not be known.
You led Your people like a flock
By the hand of Moses and Aaron.

I felt the anguish of the writer, the pain of my friend, and I REMEMBERED the work of our Lord. I am helpless to offer anything to my friend, I am helpless to take away their pain, but I offer the prayers of one girl who trusts that her Lord can and will be sufficient for them.

So I pray this Psalm back to my Lord on behalf of my friend.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I guess it's all about perception

Two weeks ago I posted about being carded at a restaurant for a NON-alcoholic strawberry daiquiri and that I must look really young.

Well today, upon asking one of our first grades how old she thought I was turning today, she replied:


Ok people. I’ve had a pretty good spread before on ages, anywhere from 18 – 32 but really 37.

So to clear up any misconceptions I am now officially 28.

And if you think this post is a bid for birthday wishes, well you may be right. :)

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Duede Seriously

So what do you do when your friend comes to visit Texas for the first time? You force him to spend as much time as possible in the car. Well that wasn’t the original plan but heck it ended up being a car-happy type trip (sorry again Steve).

But seriously folks, nothing is better than having a willing participant in all things Texas. I should have known that Steve would not only jump at the chance to experience Texas-specific things but he would fully embrace them.

In fact, he embraced it a bit more than us real Texans did.

Now I will tell you that you can easily go Texan by just wearing boots with normal clothes or a western-looking shirt, but oh no, there was none of that. You may notice the shirt, and yes it has a name – Pistoles Grande – in fact it has an identity all its own, add to that a pair of snakeskin boots, a Stetson hat (that somehow seemed made for this non-western man) and an official Texas belt buckle and you have Cowboy Steve.

Now you may get some double (or up to quadruple) coverage of events here because well between Jes, JCol, Eddie, and Steve we are all talking about the same weekend. Sorry but read on and maybe I’ll say something new.


So the weekend started out with Steve fresh off the plane, cowboy hat and all. You gotta have respect for an Oregonian who wears a cowboy hat all the way to Texas. He fit right in immediately. So to appease his request for “meat on the bone” we were off to Sammy’s for some good ol bar-b-que.

Then to Jes’s for some down time, the poor guy had been up since the crack of dawn. A little chatty time and a jam session (not rapping jeff, not rapping) later and we the gang was forming for our night out on the western town. One of my favorite comments of the night came from Roger when he saw Steve’s “outfit” in all it’s glory.

Roger: “You’re going to wear that?”
“Do you always wear clothes like that?”

Classic Roger, and yet oh so funny because Steve was more countrified (oh my word that is a real word and spell check just corrected my misspelling of it) than the rest of us. So we piled into cars and were off, well we were in the car and moving but getting there was a bit troublesome. The good thing is that since we got lost a few times (just a few) we didn’t have to wait in line very long to get seated (sorry JCol and Brian – you were troopers).

Joe T’s was AMAZING, as it always is and we got to show Steve a little bit of greenery in the otherwise bland, flat, cemented landscape of Texas.

Then we were off to Billy Bob’s. After a little bull riding watching, we hit the dance floor. Now I will take a moment here and give props to Eddo the dancing master. He is skilled people, skilled. I was also very impressed with the two-steppin and pretzeling newcomer Steve. After a few lessons and some trial runs he was burning up the dance floor. I do want to give him big props because it is not easy to become a good country dancer on your first try and he was leading and twirling and spinning with the best of them by the end of the evening.

Since the bands were pretty bad we spent most of the time watching some of the most interesting people in Texas dance. There was bouncy, tippy toes guy and then these two couples that decided to group dance right in front of us (awkward), and there were a few really good couples out there who could tear it up. People watching in Texas is always a good time.

So after a long night of eating and dancing we made our way home. Eddie has spoken of the car crash incident so check out his site for more information. I will say that it was SCARY and I think I may have cracked one of Steve’s ribs with my protective arm block that I threw out when I slammed on the brakes. Unfortunately, after all that excitement I got lost on the way back so Steve got an unexpected little guided tour of downtown as we made our way back.


Eddie was performing at a mall opening on Friday. Jes and I were supposed to meet up with him and Steve but Jessica had to do “some things for an out of town friend” – more on that later. So I ventured out to meet up with the guys and missed Eddie’s performance (sad) but got to be entertained by this guy in a blow up suit scaring the pants off of innocent passer-byers (Steve has video of this – I think). Then we headed to Tin Star (LOVE IT) and then to Eddie’s to chill before game night. Chill quickly turned into nappy time but not before watching two episodes of Scrubs and laughing our heads off. GIVE ME SOME HUNGRY CHICKEN. I guess the three of us were beat up from the night before because we all crashed. In fact I am amazed at Steve’s ability to fall asleep so quickly, one minute he’s there and the next you hear him snoring. Ha Ha.

So then we were off again (yes more driving) to Denton. I needed to make a few stops so I booked it before the boys and headed north to D-town. Unfortunately my driving instinct was off all weekend and I completely passed my exit. Twenty minutes later (where was my head this weekend?) I realized and made a u-turn and put in an emergency call to JCol and Brian. Brian, my hero, volunteered to run to the store and grab all the stuff I was to bring for dinner that night. What a guy.

My AMAZING friend Jessica (with the help of her great husband Roger) made me the most awesome birthday cake and surprised me. I love my friends. It was beautiful and scrumptious and everyone snacked on it all night.

So game night was fun, crazy, and wild. Isn’t it always? Steve got edumacated on the ins and outs of Settlers. He picked it up quickly but we were bested by somewhat newcomber Brian. The quiet ones always win. In the words of Jessica, “Settlers is a game where your goal is to screw each other.” And that is pretty much what happened, we got screwed by Big Eddie and his golden gate. I’m not bitter Eddie, you beat us at our own game. We lost with grace here people.

Then some catch phrase, a little Cranium. And yes the girls did dominate in catch phrase – although I question some of our tactics – especially when Jessica started singing Tiffany’s “I think we’re ______ now” to get us to say alone. Hahahhahahahaha, classic game night. Or Roger saying something like “it swims in the ocean, it has a fin” and Steve and Eddie yelled out “fish, dolphin” so Roger passed it then said “Someone said shark right?” Ahahahahahaha.

Then a little cranium. Man I was lucky to be on a team with two guys who can hum, draw, act, and are pretty crafty with the spelling and data questions. I’m not even sure I brought anything to the table (other than cookies).

Next was a bit of Texas Hold Em and I was outmatched from the get go. Eddie made an amazing come back after loosing a lot of chips, poor Brian went out first, bought his way back in and went out again (not sure his head was in the game though because it was 3 a.m. by this point). Well Steve and I ended up in heads up action and he stomped me. I bow in the presence of your Hold Em skills Mr. Sporre. I am no match for this master of cards.


Lazy Sunday morning, oh wait, not so lazy. It took us a while to get going that morning, lots of laying around, sitting around, hanging around. JCol, the PERFECT hostess, cooked up some breakfast and we ate and just hung around waiting to leave for Eddie’s Mav’s performance. Another jam session (again no rapping, oh wait Steve did rap so I take that back) and we were off to the American Airlines Center. Poor steve, he must not have slept at all on Saturday night because he crashed on the way to Dallas – that or my passenger seat is just that comfortable.

We made it to the AAC just in time to see Eddie shake his grove thang – and I will say that I think Eddo was the best dancer out there. He was tearing it up. We stuck around to see the last part of the game and then headed out to the fair.

And then the consumption of all things unhealthy began. Our first stop was the Corny Dog stand. Oh my word, the heavenly taste of a freshly fried corny dog. There really isn’t anything like it. A little walking later and we stumbled upon the Fried Snickers stand. Seriously, just watching people batter and then deep fry marshmallows, snickers, and oreo cookies was enough to make me gain 10 lbs and I didn’t even eat any of them. Next we headed to the Ferris Wheel. Eddo got the crowd going in line with a bit of dancing and we all packed into the car – hmmm it says it holds six and well, we were all in there but it was one of those up close and personal type rides.

Next we braved this ride that was AWESOME. We turned, we twisted, we rolled, we flipped. I screamed and laughed and Steve kept yelling out what he had just inhaled. I will say that there were a few moments I was scared his fried snickers was going to be seen for a second time that day but not in its original state and that I might be wearing it. But luckily that was not the case.

Our final quest was in search of the fried peanut butter, jelly, and banana sandwich. This was the last stop on the fried food train and Steve was riding it all the way to the end. Unfortunately after this culinary delight we had to head to the airport, so goodbyes were said and we were off in search of the car. Now I am not too proud to say that once again my go-go gadget direction skills failed me and we ended up in some random parking lot on the other side of the highway and hiked our way back to the car. (Gosh you would think that I am a directionless fool but people I’m usually really good at stuff like that – Sad).

So another car trip later (and a fried food induced nap for Steve) we were at the airport and dropping him off after a marathon Texas weekend.

Sorry that this is more just a recap. I know I am leaving out tons of stuff. Check out the other bloggers for more information or their take on stuff.

I will say that this weekend was so much fun. Like old friends getting together for good times all around. Steve is always welcomed back for a return visit. There are parts of north Texas that I’m not sure you’ve seen yet, so hey more car tripping, more fried foods, and more good times.

Ok I'll post some pics next from all my photographer friends (who needs a camera with this crew around?)

Monday, October 10, 2005

Thanks Eddo

This is a special shout out to Eddie for fixing my template. Not sure what happened but kpinion seems to have gone down on Friday afteroon. But Super Eddo came to the rescue and it is back up and running.

Short weekend wrap-up:

Lots of fun times with friends, lots of food, lots of laughing, lots of time in the car (sorry steve), lots of memories.

I'm sure I'll give better details later, but you know the crowd so you can make your way around the group checking out their recaps.

No you're not in the wrong place

My template went psycho on Friday so Super Eddo is fixing it at the moment. In the interim he has chosen this delightful template to house the thoughts of Kpinion. Do not fear, the design you have come to know and love (ha ha not a lot of humility in this statement) will soon be back.

Hmm, lots to say about this weekend, but that will have to wait.

I will leave you with this thought:


Thursday, October 06, 2005


I am pre-posting for Friday since I will not be here to share with you what is the kpinion of the day.

With all the talk this week the document below seemed very appropriate. I hope it encourages you single folks out there (me included) and also confirms for the married ones just how great our Lord is in His provision.

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another. But God to a Christian says, “No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by me, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me, to having an intensely personal and unique relationship with me alone. Discovering that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you when you are united with me exclusively of anyone or anything else.
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing – one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you; you just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning on the things I tell you. You just wait. That’s all. Don’t be anxious. Don’t worry. Don’t look around at the things other have gotten of that I have given them. Don’t look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to me, or you’ll miss what I want to show you.
And when you are ready, I’ll surprise you with a love more wonderful than any you would dream. You’ll see, wait until you are ready. I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time. Until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the life I’ve prepared for you.
You want to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me, and is thus the perfect love. And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flash of a picture your relationship with me, and enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty perfected and love that I offer you.
Believe and be satisfied.”
This was given to me by a sweet friend recently and I have read it many times before. It always gives me peace to know that God is perfect in His timing and in the showering of His blessings.
Happy Friday everyone.
Feel free to comment, I would love to return to TONS of comments :)

Sorry we don't carry those here

It seems that there is a desperate need for Giant Women internationally. There must be some shortage that CNN, MSNBC, and FOXnews aren't reporting. Have all the giant women just run away? Are they being kidnapped? Or is there some specific need that only a giant woman can fill?

If you have any answers to this predicament please let me know because it seems that Kpinion is the clearing house for all giant women internet searches.

I know, I know, I brought this on myself by naming one of my posts "Giant Women's Underpants" (which was in fact a very honest and descriptive title). But ever since then there has been an international presence here at Kpinion as the world searches for hoards of giant women.

Just in case you got here looking for giant women, I apologize but we are currently out of stock of those.

I also take a bit of offense if someone happens to think I am a Giant Woman. I mean, gosh, I'm a bit taller than the average gal and all but a giant, no.

Hopefully that clears things up.

Oh and if you are wanting help making a homecoming mum (the horror that those things are) you are also in the wrong place. I suggest a nice Michael's or Hobby Lobby will suit your needs.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

I am woman, hear me roar

Ladies this one is for you.

I remember when I was in 7th grade history and I complained to my teacher (male) that we didn’t study any of the great women of history. I was a bit of an opinionated gal back there in my younger years (ok so that hasn’t changed all that much since then) and I was persistent. Yep I was a good ol’ feminist junior high girl. You have to admit that is just a funny picture because exactly how feminist can you be at the tender age of 13?

My teacher finally relented and we did an entire unit on significant women of history. It was a great unit and I was excited that I had taken a stand for women’s rights. Really people, how sad was I? Now fast forward 13 years and I just happen to see my history teacher at the gym one day. I recognized him but I wasn’t sure he recognized me. That is until he handed me a Newsweek magazine with a picture of Hillary Clinton and the words ‘First Female President?’ emblazoned on the cover and suggested I would like that to read. I remember thinking how sad it was that of all the things he could remember about me (I loved his class by the way) the only thing that stuck in his mind so many years later was that I was such a persistent “woman’s right” proponent.

I remember wanting to run after him and say, “Wait you don’t understand, I’ve matured, I’m not that same girl anymore.” But I didn’t.

Why am I telling you this story you are asking yourself right about now. Well I thought about it after a conversation I had with some gals recently that got me thinking about the heart of a woman. And it wasn’t the good part of the heart of a woman it was that part that makes me cringe and yet the part that I know resides within me.

Recently in talking with a group of single gals the idea came up that women are sometimes irked by the order of creation. The simple fact is that some women don’t like that God made man and then made women. The comment was also made that some women are frustrated that God made women from man instead of creating her from dust like He did man.

I will admit I was dumbfounded by this second statement. I had contemplated the order of creation but to hear a heart frustrated that woman was made from man was new for me. And while I can understand the battle of this in a woman’s heart I am thankful that I have reconciled it within my own.

Now I don’t want to start a fight here. I really just want to share with you what God has shown me about man and woman from my study of Genesis.

God created man and woman. He states that obviously in the Bible. He creates man first, He states that also. And then he did the most wondrous thing in the world. He created a companion for Adam. Now I’m not in anyway saying that the creation of woman was better than the creation of man or vice versa. Man was first; man was God’s initial creation of a living being in His image. But God, in His infinite wisdom, saw that creating man to be alone was not the best thing. God in Himself is not alone. The Trinity is set up for communion, relationship, and companionship and I can only imagine that God wanted the same for man whom he loved.

How tender is the next part of the story. God brings all the animals before Adam to show him those who might be a sufficient helper and mate and none were found worthy. So God decided to create a companion for Adam from Adam. He knew exactly what Adam needed, someone that was similar but different, someone who was also in the image of God, who also would have the emotions, character, and all the things divine that God had put in His creation of man.

So God placed Adam in a deep sleep, and He took from His side. It is said by much smarter people than me that God did not take from Adam’s head so that his companion would rule over him, or from his feet that they would cower beneath his rule, but from his side, from right outside his heart, so that this companion would stand by his side, would be on equal footing in the eyes of the Lord, would be a companion not a servant. Then God presents his creation to Adam and lovingly shows him not only his need for a companion but God specific provision for that need.

Ladies, if you question the work of the Father, if you question His heart for you, just look at the care He took in creating you. Look at the specific need he saw that required your creation. God does not create for nothing. He saw that man needed a companion and He filled that need with us. What an honor, what a challenge, what a loving God that He realized that even with His presence man and woman still need the companionship of each other.

The following is an excerpt from my BSF notes. These few lines just touched my heart and made me feel so special to be a woman, so special to be a creation of the Father.

“ . . . . Adam discovers that no animal could respond to his own deepening need for human companionship. Therefore, the Lord’s third aim in bringing the animals to Adam was fulfilled, for Adam discovered a deep desire within himself for human companionship, to have another being like himself responding to his own human need. Again we see the personal involvement of the Lord with Adam. He manipulated circumstances in order to create the desire in Adam’s heart so that He could then give Adam his heart’s desire (See Psalm 37:4-5). In this way God also prepared the way that the woman who was to come should be received by Adam in an atmosphere of love because she represented the answer to all his awakened longings and desires.”

Now if there are ladies out there who still wrestle with the whole creation order, with the hierarchy that God has set forth I am open to talking. Discussion is a good thing. One thing I will ask is that you question God, really seek His wisdom in this.

For me it has become as simple as this: I trust God. I submit before Him. If he chooses to place man in authority over me then I cannot question His will and wisdom. If I trust God with my heart, if I trust Him to be good and right in all things, then I have to trust that this too is good and right. It is much easier to submit to male authority when you look toward the God you are submitting to at the same time.

I do want to hear your thoughts ladies. Guys if you have two cents you can throw them in too.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

So you tell me

What is your dream?

What is the one thing in life that you want to do more than anything else?

What is it that drives you?

Now I don't want a "soft" answer. I want something tangible and achievable with substance in your answer.

Then I want to know why you chose that and how it is going?

In the words of a HORRIBLE band, but the anthem of my entire dorm floor my freshman year in college

Tell me what you want, what you really, really want.

No Tag Backs but do come back later

Ha ha, I keep having to alert people that I'm posting twice in one day. Today, alas, both posts will be short.

Supermom Sydney tagged me so here goes:

The instructions are as follows:

1. Go into your archives.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Post the fifth sentence or closest to it. (editor's note - this sentence made no sense so I edited it to make sense.)
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag 5 other people to do the same. (editor's note - I will not be tagging anyone today, feel free to hi-jack this if you please)

posted by Katie @ 3:04 PM 2 comments (this was the actual 5th line but I didn't write it so I will give you the fourth line)

Roaring laughter ensued.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Light and Life

The following is really free form thought. I'm sorry if I lose you along the way but please, please stick around until the end and comment. I want to hear your thoughts (even if you disagree - I freely admit I do not have all the answers - in fact I have very few). There is another post below this one that is short and funny if you are here for a quick kpinion fix. Feel free to scroll down and read that but come back later and read through this one too. Thanks guys (and comment, comment, comment).

Man is a horrible witness for Christ.

A sunset does a better job of displaying His glory, the oceans show His power so much better, the mountains covered in snow and valleys adorned with flowers show His beauty, the stars and heavens His immenseness.

What is man that He would use us as a display of him? We are faulted, wretched, and most of all we have chosen self over Him. Even in a state of utter helplessness and need I question why God would choose me to reveal Himself to and be a witness to this world. Why would He ever draw near to someone who questions His righteousness, who loves this world more than Him, who rebels from the very God who created me?

But then again, I am human and the concept of grace and love are often lost on me. Now I know that I cannot fully comprehend the width and length and depth of God’s love for man, or the all encompassing covering of His grace, but I can know them in my own life. I can tell you of how His grace has freed me from the sting of sin, how His love has overwhelmed me in moments of loneliness and desperation, how just to know Him has changed my life forever.

But back to man. Why did God choose man? Why does he use us when we are so faulted, so incompetent, so ill fitted to accomplish the task at hand?

Well, there is one thing I have learned about God (many things in fact but this one is important here), I do not question the wisdom of the Lord. He chose man. That’s enough for me.

He chose man with all his faults, with all his incompetence, with all the junk that we see in this world. He chose him at creation to be the physical representation of His glory and He chose him to know Him, to be loved by Him, and to be the voice of the one crying in the wilderness proclaiming the name of Jesus.

Wow. Take a moment and chew on that. Take a moment and realize the love of the Father that He chose us despite ourselves to be His witnesses. It humbles me and it draws me to His feet.

But here is a major point to notice. God did not choose man alone. He did not choose man to go out into this world naked, ill fitted, and a lone cowboy to be His witness. God chose man to be used by Him. God never intended man to be the world’s savior. He never intended man to be the end vehicle that would draw others to Him. God alone is what draws others to Him. Oh we might get to tag along on the ride, we might get to be a witness to His work in others lives, and we might, just maybe get to say we were “there” when this miraculous event occurred. But we did NOTHING to bring another person to the throne of Christ.

Now I want to be very clear on this point. God uses us in other’s live, I fully believe this, He places us in the world because He desires to have man interact with man for His glory. He even ordains, make that commands, that we speak of His great work in our own lives and tell others of the truth that we know – that through Christ in His sacrifice we may draw near to the Lord and be adopted as children safe from the eternal death of our sin. But we have no part in salvation. We bring nothing to the table. God and God alone works in the hearts of men, calling them to Himself, changing their hearts, redeeming them, saving them from the damnation of a life apart from Him, forgiving them, and reconciling them unto Him. We are only observers. We are those who have come before and know the way but we do absolutely nothing in the work of salvation.

Again, I want to clarify that I am not saying that man does not have a role in the process but he does not do the work. We are vessels used by God for His glory. That’s it. When we take on the role of savior we spit in the face of Christ. That is harsh, I know, and I am talking to myself more than anyone. He alone calls, He alone redeems, He alone saves.

I’m studying Genesis in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) and there is a running theme of light throughout the whole Bible that has walloped my heart and mind these past few weeks. I just want to think this out here and I would love to hear your comments.

Genesis 1:1-3
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters. Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light.

This is my visual picture. Up until this point there was nothing, at least nothing created. There was God in His glory and the realm in which His glory resided where angels worshipped Him and there was also the realm in which Satan resided apart from God (whole other topic there so we are going to just pass on by that mother of a subject).

Then God did something that only He can do. He created. He made something from nothing. He spoke things into being.

There was darkness because apart from God there is nothing. That image of utter darkness, loneliness, desolation. And then a glorious thing occurs. Light. And not just any light but a light that can only come from God.

I also like to picture that light burst forth into the darkness. We’re not talking about turning on a lamp and a little bit of illumination occurs, it’s more like being in pitch black darkness and the most pure, bright, and glorious light you could ever imagine bursts forth blinding anyone with the intensity of it. It wasn’t revealed, it wasn’t slowly peaking or rising, it was instantaneous light pushing out the darkness and enveloping everything in its glory.

And the light never recedes. Oh there is darkness but not utter, complete darkness. This world has been exposed to the light of the Father and we are promised to have it continue for eternity.

Now look at this:

John 12:46
I have come as Light into the world, so that everyone who believes in Me will not remain in darkness.

Now take that same image of light bursting forth into darkness and look at man’s heart. It is in utter desolation, complete darkness. And then upon the knowledge of Christ, upon the turning of one’s heart to His offer of grace and salvation, light burst forth into that emptiness. It doesn’t slowly evolve, or reveal itself bit by bit, but salvation, the covering of our sins by His sacrifice is instantaneous, it is miraculous, it bursts forth unto our heart as His light fills the darkness of our soul and we are illumined to His glory.

And He makes a bold statement, “everyone who believes in Me will not remain in darkness”. What a promise. Christ bursts forth into our lives and never recedes. He never will leave us in darkness. In Him we are revealed to the glory and majesty of being a child of God.

So what’s the thing that ties these two together? Well look a bit further in Genesis.

Genesis 1:27
God created man in His own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female He created them.

Genesis 2:7
Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.

God created man. All of the rest of creation ends upon the creation of man. It was His final work in creation, His greatest work, His most personal. God brought forth light and then He brought forth life. The light was His glory, the life (man) was who He desired to share His glory with. He breathes life into man that he may experience the glory of the Father.

In the same way, God gave Christ to this world as a light and sacrifice for the sins of man, and to man he gave the light of Christ so that once again with man He may share His glory and He breathes eternal life into our souls once again.

Our God is so amazing. He is so beyond anything I can imagine, I can comprehend, I can even begin to understand. He is bigger than me, than you, than the earth, than the creation. He is able to do so beyond when I can even begin to dream. God is not limited by our weaknesses, He is not stumped by our incapabilities, He is not hampered in His will by the works of our hands.

God is God. There is no other. He brings forth light unto His creation. He brings forth life unto man. And through his immeasurable love and grace He brings the light of Christ and the breath of eternal life to a wretched, faulted, broken girl like me.

Our God does not need us to speak of His glory, the creation does that for Him. Our God does not need us to speak of His salvation, the heart of man yearns for it. But for reasons beyond my understanding He chooses to allow us to participate in a small part of the salvation of others by speaking of the One we trust in, by living a life that glorifies Him, and that is what we are called to do. To speak of Him, to live for Him. But remember we are not what calls this world to Him. We are the vessel that He manifests himself through.

2 Cor 2:12b and 14
. . . when a door was opened for me in the Lord.

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifest through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place.

God opens the doors and then God manifests himself through us. We, by His mercy and grace, get to give off the sweet aroma of Him.

It’s all about Him.

It’s nothing about us, but all Him in us.

Thank you Lord.

I mean I know I look younger but gosh

Funny story:

Last night I went to a Mexican restaurant with some friends. There were three of us, a guy and two gals (me obviously being one of the gals - just in case you were in any way confused). My friend Heather and I are the same age and Greg is, well, let's just say he has a lot more wisdom in his eyes and life experience under his belt.

So Heather and Greg decided to order margaritas. So Heather orders her rita and the waiter (who was at least 5 years younger than the two of us gals) cards her. Greg orders his drink and the waiter doesn't card him (poor Greg).

I'm not a drinker, never have been, just not something I'm interested in. So I order my NON ALCOHOLIC strawberry daiquiri and he asks me for my ID, to which I quizzically respond with just a slight smile, "you need to card me for a non-alcoholic drink, exactly how young do you think I am?"

He laughed, we laughed, and I began to think I might be able to pass for a junior high student. People I'm getting old here, in fact I'm going to be MUCH MUCH more older in 9 stinkin days, I should be thankful for being mistaken for being so young. Ha, Ha, Ha.

And yes because I am such a "unique" person with a manic mind this short, humorous post will be followed, or better yet preempted, by a much more serious one in just a few hours, so don't forget to check back (pitiful plea for multiple visits).