Friday, September 30, 2005

Three things

Number 1

I have good friends.

Just wanted to state that out there for the entire world (or the small part of it that visits here) to know. I really do have great friends. I have friends that I have known for a lifetime, for half a lifetime, for a year, and for a moment.

The amazing thing to me is that time only deepens a friendship; but the bond, the greatness of it, often hits you immediately.

I had the distinct pleasure of having dinner with my “Change Me” girls last night. These are a group of amazing ladies who I had the pleasure of doing a Bible study with last year and we decided to carry it on into the summer. They are PRECIOUS.

It was so much fun and they are such an encouragement to me. These are true women of faith that challenge me with their lives, their wisdom, and their hearts.

GTs (good times).



Number 2

Supposedly (not supposivly or supposibly mind you) you are supposed to get your hair cut every 6 weeks. Or is it 6 months? Oh well, whatever it is, I never do what you are supposed to.

But I have a hair appointment tomorrow at 9 a.m. and I'm trying to decide how much to get cut, what style to have, and all other things that are of course of great importance on this Friday morning.

I know, I know, guys; you are shaking your head in disgust and thinking, "Just get it cut. Why do girls make such a big deal of this?"

Because we do. And well that is my answer.

So my question is this: Anyone have any ideas on what I should do with my hair. I’m pretty easy going with the hair cut. Currently it is just to my shoulder blades. I’m open to a new length, I’m open to layers, and maybe even some side swept bangs.

So thoughts? Suggestions? Warnings?


Number 3 - UPDATE

There is no number 3. Sorry, if you saw the promise of a forthcoming post then just forget it. The words aren't coming like they should so I'm not going to force it. We'll see what happens.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Vernacular

I am a word kidnapper, or better yet a phrase kidnapper. If you say something enough around me I will take it as my own, feed it, raise it, and it will become mine. I love picking up phrases from people and can generally identify those people in my life that I am around a lot or enjoy the company of because I will begin to talk like them.

It is interesting to me that people do this. They begin to sound like each other, or at least talk like each other. I don’t think it is some scary assimilation conspiracy for all people to become the same. Instead, it shows how much of an effect friends can have on each other that they choose to begin to talk like one another.

So I started to think about the phrases that have graced my lips over the years and things that I say because I learned them from friends.

“Why don’t you go on into the kitchen, open up the fridge and get yourself a big ol can of SUCK IT UP.” Such a good phrase for anyone who is whining.

“Spring Break ‘99” said in the summer of 2000 for some strange reason, but always said when we expected something fun to occur

“OH MY WORD” said with a lot of exclamation

“Chicken monkey” what you call someone in greeting

“Freak a beak” Texas thing I guess

“Sweet pants” interchangeable with cool

“Deude, seriously” new but catching on fast

“That’s just how I roll” again new, but it is the new phrase for moms at my school – which makes me laugh all the more



Ok so what are some of your phrases that you have adopted from your friends.

Discuss.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Backwards

Editor's note: After you read this and comment (hint hint) don't forget to scroll down and look at the post just previous to this one.


I like to know answers. I like to know endings. I like to figure out how a movie will end, how a book will sum it all up, how a problem will be resolved, the punch-line of a joke even.

Why do I like all of these? Because I like to have some sense of control over the unknown.

Ha ha, don’t we all?

Surprises are great, wonderful, and exciting, but often we want to know what is around the next turn, over the next hill, or even just around the corner.

So this got me thinking. Yes, I know I have a very “different” thought process. Some people might even call it “unique” and I am ok with that. It makes for good blog fodder.

I was thinking about what it would be like to live our lives backwards. To begin at the end and work toward the beginning.

Just think, your life would begin with all the memories of all that has happened to you. YIn one instant, you would know everything you ever would learn. You would have all the experiences you would ever have stored up in your mind. You would have a completed life with your mate, your children, and your family. You would know of all the successes and failures after they occurred and will have all those lessons learned actually learned. You would know how everything ends, how all is resolved, how the story finishes.

That sounds so appealing to me.

And then I did some more thinking.

But if we lived our lives backwards then we would have to experience time retreat from us. We would begin to forget things. We would no longer have our memories, they would be erased from us. Life would become smaller not larger. Our families, our loved ones, our friends would be stripped away from us and we would know of them no more. We wouldn’t learn anything, in fact we would unlearn everything. Wisdom would depart from us, always out of our reach and with no promises to ever return. Love would be torn away and the life we had built with those we love would crumble and just disappear. We would regress from knowing everything we could ever know to knowing nothing at all.

And we would end up at the beginning of our life, which is now the end of it, ignorant, small, and without all those things that we had treasured and found so pleasing to grasp all at once.

So as much as I like to know how the story ends, what is up ahead, the answer to my questions of why and what. I don’t want to miss out on the joy of learning, the joy of living, the joy of experiencing.

Life is meant to be lived forward; to be grown; to progress; to stumble, fall, and get back up and continue on. We are to become who we are by what we experience, to gain memories that we will treasure, to feel the deepest lows of pain and the soaring heights of joy to make us who we are to be at the end of our lives. We are to experience for the sake of experience. Not knowing what is ahead helps us continue to climb over the next hill, to take the next turn, to not stop and just stay where we are because there is always something ahead of us to explore, to see, to know.

How sad would life be if we lived it backwards? How horrible to forget all that we are and to become who we once were?

So I don’t know all the answers, I don’t know the ending. And as much as I want those things, I want the experience more. I want the lessons learned; the love shared; the highs, the lows; the road that makes me the me I will one day be.

Just a thought I had.

While you wait

I'll be posting later today. I'm still wrestling with the words. I love the idea of wrestling to get my thoughts on paper, fighting with the words to conform to the way my mind works and trying to bring them under submission and form a coherent line of thought and reason.

While you wait with great anticipation (note my humility here) I would like to direct you to a great gal who is a must read for me every day. Stephanie (click on her name to get to her site) has great topics, good questions, and is such a fun gal. Today she has posted about such a good and interesting topic that deserves much discussion. So go check her out and comment, comment, comment.

But don't forget to come back (my sad plea for your return.)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Question of the Week

Name one song and one movie that you would be embarrassed for a stranger to know that you liked. (i.e. when two guys are in a car and an Enrique Eglesias song comes on and one says, "If you tell anyone about this I'll kill you.")

Song: I would do anything for love - Meatloaf

Movie: Don't know if I would be embarrassed about any of them, still thinking.

So what are your answers?

Monday, September 26, 2005

Multi-post Monday

Ok it's two posts for the price of one today. Don't forget to scroll down for Special by Proxy.

My new friend Stephanie posted her Dating Resume, or better yet, her requirements for a dating resume. She has some good stuff in there and asked me what my requirements would be if I had a dating resume. So to answer her question I dug back in the archives and resurrected this post (note this does not give you (Jessica, Eddie, and Ben to name a few) the excuse to stop reading because I’ve added some things, and you obviously think I’m a good read because you’re here so read it again and comment again).

I need a Hero

Doo doo doo doooo
Doo doo doo doooo
Doo doo doo doooo
AaahhhAaahhh

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where’s the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need

I need a hero
I'm holding out for at hero 'till the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There’s someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heatI
t’s gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet

I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero 'till the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life
Larger than life

So you’re asking yourself why is Kpinion subjecting us to 80’s music lyrics. Well because I am holding out for a hero myself.

Ah to be young, to be single, to be a girl. Wait, are those all good things? I have previously mused about singlehood and the female before but not today. Today you get my mind’s eye of what my hero will be like.

Now I know that all you marrieds out there are saying, wait Katie you can’t just make a list or have this grand idea because you will end up disappointed. That’s not how it works you are saying.

Well let me tell you something, that is how it is going to work for me. I’m not putting a height requirement, or even a hair color preference. I am equal opportunity on many items but there is a general description that I want my hero to be. And others may not think of him this way or he may not even think of himself this way but I will think of him as my hero and he will be the equivalent of my mind’s eye.

My hero is . . .

Smart, intelligent, educated, a life long learner. He doesn’t have to have a master’s degree or be the smartest man in the world but I want him to enjoy knowledge, to want to learn about the world out there and all the neat things in it. I want him to have a thirst for information, it can be on many subjects and they don’t have to be intellectual but he will know about things and want to learn about others.

Able, strong, capable of protecting me. I need a man who I feel secure with. He might be shorter than me, weigh less than me, but he will NOT be a sissy. I will have a man that makes me feel secure, that makes me feel small, that makes me feel like a woman instead of the capable she-man that I can be as a single gal living alone. He will open doors, lift heavy objects, and offer to do things that I am capable of but that he will want to do to show me he cares for me and wants to provide for me. Now realize that this quality is not always a physical quality, there is a certain presence visible in a man who is able to protect. I’ve known some big guys that I wouldn’t feel protected by and I’m know some smaller guys who I feel completely safe in their presence. It is a nature, a quality of mind and attitude that gives me this confidence in knowing that he is able and willing to stand up for me and protect me.

Honest, truthful, with integrity. My hero will be a man I look up to and desire to be like. I will have a husband that other men admire for his integrity and honesty. My family and friends will find him without major fault. They will trust him with my wellbeing. He will be upright and honest in all his dealings and this will be the guide for our life together. I will never have to question his word. Trust will be the backbone of our relationship because I know that when entering into a marriage I am handing him the right to make decisions, to direct our life, to be the leader.

Loving, affectionate, romantic. He will desire me as his wife. He will look at me with attraction and love everyday we are together. He will not want to be separated from me for more than a few days and will count the hours until we are reunited. He will look upon me with the same affection when we are 80 that he does the day we marry. He will always pursue me, not just at the beginning of the relationship but for the rest of our life.

A leader. I cannot follow a man who does not lead. I am too headstrong and will want to take charge if I do not have a man that knows his role as the husband and leads with love and mutual submission. He will be worthy of my submission and my respect. His leadership will be based on his love for Christ and his desire to love me as Christ loves the church. Leaders aren’t just a guy you will allow to lead, they are men that you desire to follow, men that know their role, know their responsibility, and lead through their own submission to Christ.

A good father. He will love his children sacrificially. He will want to provide a family for them where they are safe and cared for and they are trained to be men and women of substance and faith.

Fun, humorous, easy to be with. My hero will have a sense of humor. He will laugh at my silliness and want to make me laugh. He can laugh at himself. He will find joy and humor in the craziness of life and will know when to leave behind seriousness for laughter.

He will have a hobby, craft, or skill. He will enjoy sharing this with me and teach me to love something he loves. He will be patient as I learn and he will delight in my interest in his life.

Weak, broken, rebuilt. He won’t be a man who is self-sufficient within himself. He will have found the end of himself, and is all too aware of what can only be accomplished within him. I want a man who walks with a limp, who has been broken and rebuilt. It doesn’t matter who he “was” but who he “is.” His strength will come from his weakness and dependence on God.

Has a mission. My hero isn’t just sitting watching life pass him by. He has a goal, a mission, something that makes him want to get up in the morning. I don’t mind if it isn’t realized yet, but he better have something in his life that drives him. And in that mission, he has a place for me. It is fully his but I’m included in the dream, in the goal. We are a team working toward the same thing.

Wow, after re-reading this list I realize I have high standards but I’m glad for that. I hope I never get to a point in life where I am so discontent I decided to settle for anything less.

Well Stephanie, there you go, now you know my requirements. If I haven’t scared any guys off yet, this list might make them run for the hills.

I also realize that this list of requirements means that I have to be a certain kind of woman to be worthy of such a man. Still working on that.

Special by proxy

First off, thank you too all my friends who took a moment to pray for my family. They are all safe and well. I haven't heard of any major damage to their houses but they really aren't able to return yet because of lack of utilities and water. I know they would appreciate your continued prayers as they deal with all the aftermath and clean up.

Thank you friends, it really means a lot to me that I can ask and know that prayers are lifted up. Please never hesitate to ask the same of me.

Many of you might not know how involved my family is in all the hurricane mess. My father was in Mississippi immediately after Katrina working with a chemical company on clean up and containment, my sister works for the FEMA call center, and my mother works for the Department of Homeland Security and is currently in Baton Rouge working at the main governmental staging area.

All that to say, my mom called me yesterday to tell me she met PRESIDENT BUSH. The President had come to Baton Rouge to meet with the people in charge and while walking though the offices (or better yet a big room with lots of workers) stopped and talked to my mom for five minutes and shook her hand.

I'M JEALOUS.

So yep, I'm special by proxy.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Short - Updated Again

My mom's side of the family have all evacuated (the Port Arthur crew - still the point of expected landfall).

My Aunt Jenny, Uncle Roy, cousin Emilee, and Grandpa are in Victoria (west of the hurricane's path) and may continue on to Corpus Christi. My uncle Barry is still staying (there are quite a few elderly couples who live in my grandfather's neighborhood that aren't leaving so I think he's staying to keep a watch on them). Please continue to pray for safety and safe travel and that all are protected from the storm.

Thank you to everyone for your prayers. It means a lot in all this that I have friends who are concerned.

Friends, if you get a chance please pray for my family as they make the exodus from the Beaumont region of Texas. It looks like that area is going to be ground zero for Rita's landfall. I believe my family is still on the road somewhere and my uncle is staying in Beaumont to ride out the hurricane. Pray for their safety and protection, as well as the same for all in that area. Thank you friends.

I posted "for real" below.

Bye, Bye, Bye . . . .

I got some flack a while back for admitting that I was a super-fan of NKOTB (New Kids on the Block for the unenlightened) and that I knew all the dance moves to Hangin Tough. I was in elementary school and junior high, and they were HUGE and every girl in my age group must admit they listened to the tapes, they went to their concerts, and they probably owned a poster, or pillow, or t-shirt, or some other type of paraphernalia.

Now this post is not to defend my FORMER love of all things NKOTB. Instead it is to share with you my experience with yet another boy band or two. When I worked at Kanakuk Kamps we were always looking for skits, programs, and other fun things to entertain the kids. Somehow the leadership team decided that one of our party nights needed some “special entertainment” so the girls and guys decided to do a lip-synch and dance to two popular boy band tunes.
And that is how The Backwoods Girls and NSync (the boys weren’t all that creative) began. It was HILARIOUS, especially since the girls took this challenge seriously and spent hours choreographing our routine and the boys took about 30 minutes and had to bring in some of the girl cooks to help with the moves.

We were a hit. Each week we would perform our routine for the kids at dinner. It was so much fun.

Now this is the time to tell you that many of the staff at kamp only got to see the “business” side of me. They knew me as the HOG who made sure everything ran smoothly, everything happened when it was supposed to, and that all counselors were doing everything they were supposed to do. They didn’t know that I had a “crazy” side.

The Backwoods Girls soon changed all of that. We performed to "Larger than Life."

The guys instead went with the crowd pleaser of “Bye, Bye, Bye” and let me tell you that the girls went wild. You would think that the real NSync guys were there by the way the girls screamed and went crazy. HILARIOUS.

Well twelve weeks later and we were famous, at least to the kampers. Our last “performance” we ended up doing an encore of “Bye, Bye, Bye” with the whole group and just went wild. It was so much fun. Good Times, GTs.

So, just in case you thought I was boring then well, behold The Backwoods Girls (and I threw in the guys for kicks).

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Aren’t we cute?

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First performance – those girls can dance

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Yep I had a solo and I was GOOD (notice the guys laughing in the background?)

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Ha, ha, their outfits got more random as the summer went on

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No wonder the gals went crazy. In the foreground in red is my friend Luke, behind him in the jean vest (totally 80’s) is Brad. They were HITS in this whole production, which of course only added to the number of girl kamper with mom shots they had to take on Parents’ Night.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Random - UPDATED

Item #1
Jes is in the process of "fixing" my videos so you all may point and laugh at my flipping skills (and yes I choose to not use the z there, I'm aware of my utter lack of skillz). I'll let you know when they are up and running. THE VIDEOS ARE UP AND RUNNING.

Item #2
Please pray for those in the path of Hurricane Rita (including us up here in north Texas - it looks like we are in for some rough weather). All my extended family lives in southeast Texas, the Beaumont/Port Arthur area and they seem to be ground-zero for landfall. They are all leaving, so they should be safe but pray for safe travel for all evacuating. My mom is also in Baton Rogue for work (Dept of HS) so she will most likely get some bad weather. So pretty much just pray for all those in the hurricane's path. We're getting battered down here pretty badly.

Item #3
Today is picture day at school. PICTURE DAY. That day you dread because you know that you will invariably have a bad hair day, or major breakout, or nothing good to wear that day. It cracks me up that at the age of 27 (whoa almost 28 - let's see, 20 days and counting) I am still getting my "school picture" taken. What does an adult do with a whole package of school pics anyway? Especially when they are the typical school picture with the colored background and head shot with your chin tilted just so. What is even funnier is that I'm not sure I look all that much different as I did 10 years ago when I was getting my final "real" school picture taken. Maybe I can find that one and do a comparison. Hmm. Interesting thought.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

It really doesn't take that much (a dual blog with Just Say Jes)

Last night I ventured out into the night with one task at hand: Cobbler. Jes makes great cobbler and I needed her expertise to help me enhance my "suzy baker" skills. She imparted her wisdom to me and cobblering commenced.




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Well what are two crazy girls to do when their waiting on the cobbler to bake?

Flipping.

Now if you don't visit Steve's blog then you must go there first to witness the true talent. Go, now, scroll down to the videos, watch, and hurry back.

Yep, we are so easily swayed and pretty much have no self control when it comes to trying a new thing. So Jessica and I gathered the proper flipping materials and set forth on our conquest to become flipping masters. Now if you know either Jes or me in person (or you feel like you've come to know us quite well through our blogs) then you know we are, well, "special". I think that the following videos will show that all too well.

Laugh, laugh some more, and then laugh again. Yes we know we are crazy, yes we know we are two of a kind, and yes we had way too much fun doing this last night.

I apologize in advance that it will take a while for the videos to load and that you may not find the same humor that Jes and I did. There are some funny moments, or you can just laugh that we spent at least an hour attempting to flip things into our mouth with not a whole lot of success. Much like a train wreck, you just have to keep watching in disbelief that we are, in fact, this "special."

ISSUES - Trying to fix the videos - your patience is appreciated.
















Also go check out Jes's site for her own special videos.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Thanks Aimee

My friend Aimee sent out an email that she got from a friend of hers. It is the question of the week and I think I might implement that here at Kpinion. So now you can share your ___pinion (fill in the blank).

The question this week is “What are the things that you love and hate about the world?"

Here are mine:

Loves - sunrises and sunsets; the wonder of looking at stars and a full moon; the smell of babies and puppies; when you get a hug from a little kid just because; the feeling in your stomach when you have a crush; knowing that you just made someone's day; people who are polite; sleeping in; tulips; unexpected surprises; friends who are always there for you; reconnecting with old friends; making new friends; love - in all forms; random compliments that brighten your day; driving in your car with the sunroof open and the music blaring; laughing, more laughing, and even more laughing; crying – when it just empties you of the junk in the world; sincere and honest prayer; being told you look pretty when you’ve put no effort into it that day; watching old couples in love; hearing God’s whispers

Hates – the sound of a finger nail clipper in a public place; the feeling when you know you've really hurt someone; traffic - any kind, anywhere; when people disregard your opinion just because they think you are too young to have a good one; when men don't step up and lead; the idea that we all have to be perfect all the time as Christians - hello people we all struggle and have crappy days - own up to it; when guys say it's all about the "inner person" and then you see them out with a floozie with a hot body and skanky clothes - inner person my butt; when people aren't real and only tell you what they think you want to hear; when people think you will always be "one way" and never change; that feeling that you just lost your bestfriend; lying; deception; not being able to help someone when they are hurting; corn nuts (you know I had to go there); my sin

Ok now it’s your turn – share and share good.

Monday, September 19, 2005

You take a left at the big oak tree, a right at the red brick house and then on to crazy world

So I've been wondering just how people get to my site. Some of you are friends, some of you are silent lurkers, some of you are one-time visitors who pop up mysteriously. I just happen to have a device that allows me to see how you got here and it is funny to me to see how people land at Kpinion after doing an internet search. The following list is of the topics that people search for and end up here.

gun rouses 2005/03/rouses.html
what katie did http://kpinion.blogspot.com/
calgon take me away 2005/01/calgon-take-me-away.html
baby oranges 2005/03/baby-oranges.html
pinion http://kpinion.blogspot.com/
pork rines 2005/07/little-something-special-for-weekend.html
rain drops keep falling an my head 2004/10/wedding-bells-keep-falling-on-my-head.html
baked potatoe 2005/04/like-big-baked-potatoe.html
sun poisoning in the face and swelling 2005/03/granola.html
moo glide http://kpinion.blogspot.com/
steve pinion http://kpinion.blogspot.com/
ken pinion horse 2005/04/did-he-think-that-this-was-circus_21.html
denton bible church weddings 2004_11_01_kpinion_archive.html
is it true that donkeys kill more people than plane crashes 2004/11/did-you-know.html
voice flem 2004/10/issues-with-flem.html
valumpuous men 2004_12_01_kpinion_archive.html
stinky b 2004_11_01_kpinion_archive.html
calgon take me away 2005/01/calgon-take-me-away.html
skinniest man 2005/04/did-he-think-that-this-was-circus_21.html
pinion http://kpinion.blogspot.com/
skinniest man 2005/04/did-he-think-that-this-was-circus_21.html
daisy duke pantyhose 2005/08/why-couldnt-i-just-be-daisy.html
gag on my cook 2004/10/just-say-no-to-prime-rib.html
cockroach excrement or rat poop 2005_04_01_kpinion_archive.html
giant women 2005/08/giant-womens-underpants.html
how to wear a jock strap http://kpinion.blogspot.com/
homecoming mums whip 2005/09/change-of-plans.html
calgon commercials 2005/01/calgon-take-me-away.html
population of dallas texas 2005_03_01_kpinion_archive.html
giant women 2005/08/giant-womens-underpants.html
homecoming mums 2005/09/change-of-plans.html
good men do exist 2005/09/men.html
kpinion http://kpinion.blogspot.com/
giant women 2005/08/giant-womens-underpants.html
i am loosing my mind 2004/12/loosing-my-mind.html
how to make homecoming mums http://kpinion.blogspot.com/
homecoming traditions mums http://kpinion.blogspot.com/
mum container 2005/09/change-of-plans.html
giant women 2005/08/giant-womens-underpants.html
giant women underwear http://kpinion.blogspot.com/
cool homecoming mum designs 2005/09/change-of-plans.html
kpinion http://kpinion.blogspot.com/
mums cowbell 2005/09/change-of-plans.html

Hmm, not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but it sure is funny to me.

Ok people I've got nothing today so you're getting weak posts, sorry.

Look at me, I'm famous

Well if you define famous by being a link on a blog by someone you don't know at all.

This is rather interesting and a bit exciting. More exciting than the fact that many people get to my site now because they are seaching the internet for Giant Women. Hmmm not so encouraged by that. Thankfully they are not searching for me, nor am I a giant woman - but they get my Giant Woman Underpants post. Hahahaha, not sure they were looking for that.

Ok back to me being famous. My blog was linked in the following post. Yipee, not only am I famous but I am famous for loving Target. Though, I'm not sure I'm a home design addict, but maybe I did say that.

I edited this because, well the rest wasn't about me so why would you want to read it. (hee hee)

More Advice for Target

If you take a close look at discussion on the blog sites about Target, you can see that there are many people, especially women, talking about how much they love Target, revealing new ways that Target can reach them through interactive marketing. Those women fall into many different categories including self-proclaimed ‘Target Queens’, young mothers, teenagers and women who practically describe themselves as home design addicts (THIS IS ME).

Ok so it's not USA Today, CNN, or MSNBC but hey I did make someone elses blog just for being me.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Rainbows and Mustard Seeds

You’re probably asking yourself how I’m going to tie the two above things together. See in my mind things are often related that to a normal person (yes I am special – you may determine in what way) would otherwise be unrelated.

So yesterday was a h.a.r.d. day. Unfortunately it wasn’t the day per se or the events of the day, rather it just happened to be “the” day that many things all came together. Sorry folks, as much as group therapy over a blog seems somewhat interesting, I really don’t have an explanation for why yesterday was hard, I just know it was.

All that being said, I wish I could announce that the clouds have parted and the sun is shining, birds are singing, and happy days are here again. But that is a scene from a Disney movie, not LIFE.

But all is not lost. See last night as I let my mind mull over the day and the “issues” two things popped in my head: rainbows and mustard seeds. See you knew I would eventually get back to those.

I love a good rainbow. The colors, the size, the pot of gold and leprechauns (scary little men in green outfits with Irish accents - hmm, I’m Irish maybe I’m a leprechaun). Sorry, got off track.

Rainbows also signify hope and better yet hope in a promise. That made me think of Ben and an old post of his. (Sidenote: Ben you helped inspire this post.)

The thing about rainbows is that they appear when it is still either raining or overcast. Their beauty is in direct opposition to the darkness of the storm and they shine forth in that partial darkness. Rainbows don’t signify the end of the storm; in fact they can’t appear unless there is still water in the sky, unless the storm is still lingering or about to make a second attack.

Instead rainbows are that glimmer of hope that this too shall pass. They are the mark of a promise that this is temporary, the storm will pass, the damage will be repaired, and the sun will shine again. The funny thing is that once the storm has passed and the sun is shining we can’t see the rainbow anymore. We don’t need the reminder of the promise because the promise has been fulfilled.

Did you also know that no two people can ever see the same rainbow? Because the water and light that form the rainbow are always moving and your eyes and my eyes cannot occupy the same exact space we get to see our own personal rainbows. In the same way, in every storm of life we each get our own personal promise of hope.

Now on to the mustard seed. Have you ever seen a mustard seed? They are small. In fact here is a picture to show you just how small they are.

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When I worked at Kanakuk (yep another kamp story) the leadership girls would give all the counselors encouragement gifts during Work Week. It was something we did to encourage them as they sweated and worked and weren’t able to shower everyday (yep we were that mean). For some reason the leadership guys never gave encouragement gifts, hmmm must not be a manly thing to do. I’m sure they wrestled or something to show the guys they cared. Sorry, I got sidetracked again.

One year we gave everyone a mustard seed and I still happen to have mine. And so once again, as I was thinking of the “issues” the mustard seed popped into my head. (I have no explanation for my thought process, it works for me but I’m sure seems very crazy to other people.) And the verse that we attached to the mustard seed came to mind.

“The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!" He replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you.” Luke 17: 5,6

I love the request, no demand, of the apostles. They asked the right man for their need. “Increase our faith!” (I also love that there is an exclamation point, I can just hear the hunger and the desperation in their plea.) Jesus answered back with an interesting claim. If (conditional of course) you have faith as small (letting you know the amount of faith needed) as a mustard seed, you can . . . . do the impossible.

Now I don’t know about you but I haven’t really needed to replant a mulberry tree with just my words so far in life. Good thing too, because I’m not sure I can even muster up enough faith for it to be a mustard seed size. I just need to make it though the day, which seems a lot easier than miraculously moving a tree. So all I need is a fraction of the mustard seed size faith. Just a little bit, just enough to know that He is able to move the tree, He is able to get me through the day, He is able to give me the hope and the promise of tomorrow.

The best part of both the rainbow and the mustard seed is that it reminds me that I don’t have to be sufficient. I don’t have to have all the answers. I’m not supposed to. I’m not able to. Hope, promises, faith, they all make you look to something outside of yourself for the answer. The other thing about the rainbow and the mustard seed is that they exist inside the storm, inside the need, inside the cruddy days when everything comes crashing down. Hope and faith are never more real then when you are so aware of your inability, your weaknesses, your failures. That is when the rainbow offers the most hope, when your eyes behold the true beauty of the promise. That is when the fraction of a mustard seed worth of faith is grasped so tightly in your hand.

So yesterday, today, and tomorrow I will ponder the wonders of the rainbow and the mustard seed. No, happy days aren’t here again, but I have the promise of the future and the hope in the One who gives that promise, and I have that miniscule bit of faith that He says is sufficient.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

One of those days

Can you ever just feel it? You brush off the first few clues because you don't want to believe them. It can't be, you won't let it.

And then you realize that yes, it is going to be one of those days.

Now I'm all for being suprised. I'm all for the clouds parting and sunlight coming through. But right now the forecast isn't all that great. Things can change, and I am honest with myself enough to know that I can change my mind and decided that this isn't going to be one of those days, but sometimes my mind and my heart like to duke it out for a while before any real decisions are made.

I know I'm usually up but I also like to think that I'm real, and to be honest I need to admit that today is going to be one of those days.

So you all get jipped on the post, not sure I'm gonna be able to muster more than this today.

Apologies in advance.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Beauty - UPDATED

There are so many things in life that are scary, uncomfortable, destructive, and yet in their simplicity they are still beautiful.

The following are pictures I got from an email that states they are of Katrina coming ashore in Mississippi. Of course, being that I am an extremely intelligent person I decided to do some investigating into the pictures. Obviously there is no coast line in any of the pics so I was wondering how it would be Katrina come ashore.

In fact these images are actually photographs of tornadoes taken by storm chaser Mike Hollingshead in southwest Iowa in late spring 2004. Most of them are viewable on the 2004 Digital Photos section of his web site (scroll about halfway down the page). Now I would NEVER fall for one of those big mass email bits so I want to make sure that all my readers know the truth.

Now if you look closely at the pictures you can see corn fields so of course Iowa and NOT Mississippi would be the place for these pics to be taken.

That being said, they are beautiful and they are of a storm that I'm sure did some major damage. My original hypothesis that nature, even in its most destructive capabilities, is beautiful is true.

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There is something beautiful in the way our weather works, in the way there is order and structure to a storm. The effects may be devastating, but the storm, the controlled fury, the power of wind and rain are beautiful in themselves.

P.S. Pay no attention to the anonymous commenter who is trying to steal my thunder by claiming he knew about these pics being fake before me. I really was just trying to see how trusting you in fact were.

:)

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Brothers

I have two brothers. We look nothing alike, we have three different mothers, we use to all live in different states, and we didn’t become family until we were in our 20s but none of that matters because these guys are the closest thing I have to brothers.

Many moons ago I worked at Kanakuk Kamps. This is where I found my brothers.

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Luke and Brad

Luke and I had worked together one summer but we really didn’t get to know each other very well. He was the studly pool guy and I was the office girl (not the HOG at this point) so we of course crossed paths because when you work at kamp (notice the “k”) you get to know everyone.

The next summer I returned to kamp (as the HOG) and met Brad, who looked a heck of a lot like Prince William (really it was freaky). I’m not really sure where or how our friendship began but I distinctly remember riding in a car with him and three other guys on a night off during work week (the week before kids come and we get kamp ready). I’m also not even sure how I ended up with a car full of guys – not planned I assure you. Somehow after that we became fast friends. Then Luke came into the picture. He and Brad buddied up and I was along for the ride.

We quickly became a trio and formed a tight bond. It is funny how friendships can form out of thin air and become close so quickly. We became each other’s cheering squad, support team, shoulders to lean on, ears to listen as we vented about frustrations, person who would always laugh when we had a funny story, and all around best friends.

I remember thinking how funny it was that somehow I ended up buddying up with the two best looking, most gracious, wisest, best all around guys at kamp. It didn’t hurt their popularity that Luke was the pool daddy (head lifeguard) and Brad was the worship guy (all girls love guys with guitars – a fact of life). In fact there were quite a few gals who tried to pump me for information on these studs.

Ha ha quick side story – I gave these two guys such a hard time about being the most eligible bachelors at kamp. Seriously, there were so many girls scamming after them and then the girl kampers, oh my word, I think each of them would pose for at least 20 pictures each parent’s night with kids and moms alike – hahahahaha – I would make so much fun of them for that. One day off I decided to get them t-shirts to announce their stud qualities. So Brad had a t-shirt that said STUMBLING and Luke had one that said BLOCK. So together they were the kamp Stumbling Blocks. The funny part was that they loved them and wore them to breakfast one morning; unfortunately, our director happened to eat that breakfast and gave them some mighty funny looks as he read their shirts. Ahahahahaha. Priceless.

It also struck me that I could form such a great friendship at kamp (where everyday is crazy and wild and you never know if you are going to get to spend any real quality time with friends). Also the fact that we only spent three months out of the year with each other made the friendship pretty ironic.

But these were my brothers. They were there to take care of me, watch out for me, laugh with me (and at me some times), encourage me when I was frustrated or upset, and above all let me just be their friends (which was a blessing in so many ways).

It was also just a neat experience to be the friend of two awesome guys. I got to be their sounding board when it came to girls. I got to be an encouragement to them as they rose in the ranks of kamp leadership. I got to see and hear “guy talk” which was an experience in and of itself. I also got to just love them for being such great guys and encourage them as strong, godly men of faith (what an honor).

I remember my last day at kamp. I had to leave before the summer ended and it was such a mix of emotions walking out of kamp for the last time as a staff member. Luke and Brad showed up to drive me up the hill and say goodbye. I remember being ok with leaving kamp (I had resolved the ending of that part of my life) but I was having trouble knowing that those three months out of the year when I got to spend a summer with my best guys friends was coming to an end.

The best part, though, was knowing that our friendship was bigger than kamp. It wasn’t really tied to those three months each year. We had formed a friendship that wasn’t limited by time or distance, these guys were my brothers and I knew that we would continue to be friends no matter where life took us.

Well both of these amazing guys married amazing girls in the last two years. I was honored to be a part of Luke’s wedding (as his assistant – funny job but perfect for our friendship). I missed out on Brad’s but only because I was a bridesmaid in my roomies wedding on the same day (I did investigate the possibility of flying to his wedding immediately after hers but that was crazy). One of the best things is that I have a special friendship with each of their wives, which started before they were even engaged. These two women are such godly and sweet girls and perfect matches for their husbands. Our friendship has of course changed since they got married but every once in a while I get to check in with them and catch up. They are both amazing men who are being used by God in so many ways and I am so proud to call them my friends.

So what’s the point of this post you ask? Well nothing really. I just ran across a picture of these guys and it brought a smile to my face. I love that friendships can come from anywhere. It is always a surprise where and how you make some of the best of friends.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Identity

About four years ago when I was working with my church’s youth group, I was asked to speak at a retreat put on by high school girls. They asked me to speak about identity. I remember thinking that was an ironic topic for me to be talking about at the time because that was something I was struggling deeply with myself. It ended up that I didn’t get a chance to speak but I ran across my notes the other day and it got me thinking.

The following is a conglomeration of those notes and some things I have since learned. Some of this gets into my thoughts and my heart and I will admit I was a bit hesitant about putting it out there. It is one thing to share this with a group of high school girls but it’s a whole other thing to put it out there for the world to read. I’m being vulnerable because I think it’s an important topic so it’s worth it to me.

Who am I?

That question haunts my thoughts. And when it seems I’ve found the answers, moments of doubt and confusion throw off all my security in who I think I am.

This world is primed and ready to provide all kinds of answers to who we are. In fact, for girls it is almost too easy to get caught in the identity buffet trap, to look out to this world to find something to answer that question, to fill that desire.

I will admit that I’ve gone to the identity buffet too many times and tried too many of the options. Oh there are some that don’t look good at all (much like the macaroni and cheese with the ham chunks – not appealing), but there are many things that catch my attention and I think that they will appease that hunger inside of me. The problem with the buffet is that you never leave happy. You keep going back to try something new because each one leaves you unsatisfied. With so many options nothing seems to be the perfect thing.

That’s how this world is with identity. There are so many options, so many choices, and yet nothing in this world will satisfy you. That’s why this world offers identity as a buffet. Since nothing will be the all consuming one, you have to try a little bit of everything and yet you still come up empty.

Oh and I’ve done my share of sampling. Hmm, let’s see: intelligence, beauty, image, talents, friendships, relationships, and so many more. That’s the way the game goes, I keep trying different things, they keep coming up short and I am left feeling empty and moving on to the next thing. I could share with you so many stories of how I’ve tried to form my identity from something this world offers, and I will admit I’ve even tried to form it from things that are considered Christian. That becomes a big problem because then I can’t understand why my identity isn’t complete when I’m filling it with all the Christian things, good things, and yet they are just still things.

A few years ago I was in a place of really searching for who I was. I will fully admit I felt lost and vacant. There was emptiness inside of me that I really hadn’t ever felt before and it ached.

I was at a point when the bareness of those things that I had placed my identity in was coming to light and I was quickly left with nothing to form my identity from. The heart of the issue was that I wanted to be loved by someone. I wanted to feel special and cared for and claimed. This was and is the desire of my heart.

See my heart knew that the type of love I was looking for wouldn’t and couldn’t come from a person on this earth. My need was too great for any one person to fill. It was a moment when my heart really cried out to the Lord for an answer.

The following is really just a dictation of my thoughts at that moment. I apologize in advance for the length, for the lack of punctuation, and the lack of complete sentences but I don’t want to edit it for fear that I will change the truth that unfolded to me at that time. Again this is me being vulnerable so bear with me as I lay out a bit of my heart.

The plight of the loved
How often is it that we don’t realize God’s love for us, His utter desire to know us, to have us know Him? This world, our lives, all of it was for Him to share His perfect love with something. As we desire so much to be loved, He desire so much to love, and we were chosen for that love.

Out of all creation, out of all people, out of all that we will never know that is, He chose us, He chose me, to love with His immeasurable love. He desired our hearts before time. He loved us perfectly before we even were. And when we did not love him in return, He continued to love and continued to pursue us, even to His death.

And while that can seem so far away, and so long ago, and so separated from us no, here in the situations we are in, in the pain we have, He knew out face on that day, He saw our hearts on that cross, and I know he spoke our names in His heart as he took our pain, took our burden as an act of love. It wasn’t an act of power, it wasn’t a show of His authority, it was an act of love. A love so great that we will never fully know the depth of it on this earth.

And He continues to pursue us. From our first breath, He is there loving us, caring for us, searching out our heart, calling our name, desiring for us to return His love. And the awful thing is we usually don’t. We don’t know how to love Him in return. We don’t know how to even believe His love. We doubt, we question, we feel unworthy and we are fed a lie that we aren’t worthy, that He doesn’t love us. And we begin to believe it and we listen to that voice more than the one that is telling us He does love, He does love us, and He continues to love us even when we don’t love Him back.

We search through our lives to find that love, find that acceptance, find that peace and knowledge of feeling that we are found in pleasure, and we never find it in this world. We find glimpses of it and we hold on to those and then they fade away and we convince ourselves that it can’t be there, that love cannot be that strong, that forgiving, that accepting, that real. It is a hope that will never be fulfilled.

But God continues to love us through this and He continues to pursue us with a vengeance that we cannot understand. He has already claimed our heart His won and He will not let anything take us away from Him. And all of this because He loves us and He always will.

My heart never quite understood that. I knew God as my Lord, I knew him as my Savior, I even could see him as my Father, but I never really considered Him as my Love and that He considered me as His love.

His love has no conditions. Do we really understand what that means? There is no way to know it until you feel His love when you feel so far away from Him. When you see yourself for who the world paints you as. When you have listened to the lies of the devil and believed the worst he can say about you.

And yet, you still hear the voice of your Maker, your Creator, the One who desires you more than you desire Him. Who reaches out to you when you have turned your back on Him. The One who promises to never leave and when you think He has, He is there with that incomprehensible love to call you back to His arms. Where you belong. Where you find all those things that your heart longs for in Him, and Him alone. In His love.



So back to the original question.

Who we are? What is my identity?

This is a hard truth to come to terms with. It’s something I struggle with the moment I wake each morning. It is something I will struggle with each day of my life. But it is a good struggle, a worthy one. It makes me lift my eyes up past myself to Him.

Where does our identity in fact lie, but in our Creator’s eyes, in His hands that formed us, in His heart that loves us even with everything that we are. Our identity is in Him. Our identity is Him.

Mercy Me has a song called Spoken For. I will admit I forgot all about it until Steve put it up on his site. The moment I heard the words again I began to cry. Not out of despair but out of hope, out of thankfulness, out of love.

Take this world from me
I don’t need it anymore
I am finally free
My heart is spoken for

Oh, and I praise You
Oh, and I worship You

Covered by a love divine

Child of the risen Lord
To hear You say, “This one’s Mine,”
My heart is spoken for

Now I have a peace

That I’ve never known before
I find myself complete
My heart is spoken for
By the power of the cross
You’ve taken what was lost
And made it fully Yours
And I have been redeemed
By You who spoke to me
Now I am spoken for

Friday, September 09, 2005

Change of plans

Ok so I was all ready to post about my solo at the lake but then I realized that this weekend was a very important weekend. Yes, my friends it is HOMECOMING weekend.

And it just so happens that this year marks my tenth year out of high school. TEN YEARS people. That is a stinkin long time. Gosh I feel old.

But a trip down memory lane is not the point of this post.

Instead we are here to discuss this thing called Homecoming. Now I’m sure if your school had a football team they had a homecoming game. Well homecoming in our town is BIG STUFF (even though out football team sucked at the time – but hey my old high school has since won three state championships and played a game televised on ESPN – yep we take our football seriously down here folks). I’m getting off the subject again.

Homecoming is so much more than the game (especially when you know you are going to lose). It is a week full of festivities including Spirit Week, Pep Rallies, a Bonfire, the game, and then the dance.

It just so happens my senior year that I was the mascot. In fact every couple of months or so when I go into the local grocery store one of the checkers or baggers will remember me as the mascot (hmmm, not so sure that is the thing I most want to be remembered for). The most important part of being the Raider mascot was that I had a whip. Yep, a whip. See our administration thought it would be a good idea for the Raider to be like Indiana Jones instead of a cowboy or pirate like other raider mascots (bad idea, very bad idea). So I got to wear an entirely khaki outfit with the leather bomber jacket, brown fedora, and carry a whip. And yes boys, I do know how to use it and I still have it. And no, you will not ever see pictures of me in the mascot outfit.

Homecoming is an EVENT to rival all events. It is bigger than prom or graduation I think just because the entire school is involved. So I’m thinking I might venture out to my high schools homecoming game tonight and visit one of my good friends who is the drill team instructor and check out the game.

And as I venture back in time to the high school days I will be greeted with one of the most outrageous homecoming traditions here in Texas.

The MUMS.

There really is no way to describe what a mum is in words so I found a couple of pictures for you to peruse.

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Now for some reason in my youth I thought that mums were the greatest thing in the world.

I was WRONG.

As I got older and wiser I have come to the understanding that these things are the tackiest, ugliest, biggest waste of $50-$100 ever invented.

The sad thing is that there was an unspoken competition to see who could have the biggest, gaudiest, most expensive mum in the school.

It didn’t just end with flowers and a few ribbons people. It was four flowers; all kinds of ribbons (in coordinating school colors of course); you had to add the teddy bears (one for both you and your date); the football garland; the plastic footballs (or basketballs or soccer balls or whatever sport you or your date played); then there was the ribbons with your name and their name and the name of the school and the name of whatever else you wanted, and then the cowbells (yes cowbells in various sizes, tiny to regular size); you also added glitter ribbons, and other crap to make your mum large and expensive looking. I’ll never forget the site of girls walking down the hall (because you had to wear it to school on the day of the game as well at the game and the dance) with fifteen safety pins trying to hold this 15 pound mum onto their shirt as gaping holes appear from the duress of the weight. I even knew a guy who bought his date a mum so big she had to wear it as a backpack. Then there was the sound of these girls coming down the hall with the garland and the cowbells. It was HILAROUS.

Ahhh memories. So as I venture back to the old stomping grounds of high school I will be visually assaulted with the mums once again.

AND I WILL LAUGH.

Two post FRIDAY

Yep I'll be posting twice today (well that is the plan at least).

First, you might notice a little link over there on the sidebar called kpinionhappythoughts. It is just a little sister site that will chronicle my happy thoughts calendar. Check it out if you have the time.

Ok well, look for another post sometime later today.

Wahooo it's FRIDAY.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Yep I really am this weird

Is there something wrong when I dream of blogging about dreaming and then of course blog about dreaming about blogging about dreaming?

Huh?

Read it again, outloud and you should understand it.

Yep people blogging has now entered my dreams. It really doesn’t take much to enter my dreams because when I am asleep I am some kind of idiot savant motion picture, novelette, and sitcom writer. My dreams tend to be either a week long mini-series event or a long and drawn out major movie. I even have the recurring characters and story lines of a sitcom. I am a super dreamer. In fact if I could some how figure out how to record my dreams I’m pretty sure I would be in Hollywood right now.

So back to my dream last night about blogging about dreaming. This wasn’t my initial dream last night. See I have multiple story lines in any given night but this was my final dream, a short sitcom of a dream to round out the multi-plex worth of flicks playing in my subconscious.

In my dream I’m typing out my blog on dreaming at my computer at work (just as I am doing now). Maybe I’m a prophetic dreamer (hmmm, let’s see have I dreamed about my family bowing down to me anytime lately? Nope, darn. Oh well.)

The following is what I remember from my post in my dream.

Dream Doctor

Dr. Somebody (in one of those foreign accents that you can never place but is obviously foreign): So tell mee about your dreamz?

Me: Well, I seem to have the really vivid dreams. The stories are so real. In fact I’ve woken up laughing or crying or smiling before because of something that has happened in my dream. In fact I’ve been mad at people in real life because of what they did to me in a dream. Is that weird?

Dr.: Hmmmm, intreeeesting. Tell mee more.

Me: Well I also have this recurring theme-dream. Sometimes I’m back in college and remember that I’ve not gone to this one class all semester and then show up on a major test day completely unprepared. But I can’t even find the class, so I’m running around campus (it’s always a different campus) trying to find my class so I can take my test that I’m not prepared for but I can’t find it and I keep walking into classes and sitting down only to figure out it isn’t my class.

Or last night (note: the following is actually the dream I had before the dream about blogging about the dream – so I dreamed about blogging about a dream that involved a dream that I had just dreamed all in the same dream – I know I’m weird) I dreamed that I was staying in a hotel but didn’t know my room number so I went to every door in the hotel trying my stupid key card until I found my room, and then it wasn’t even my room, it was someone else’s room but I didn’t figure that out until they came in during the middle of the night and tried to get in the bed I was sleeping in and I screamed and they yelled at me for being in their room and they kicked me out and I was left stuck in the hall in my pajamas with no room and no place to go and knowing that somewhere in that hotel was my room and my stuff but I couldn’t find it.



And then I woke up and thought, I have to blog about this.

So what does it mean when you dream about blogging about dreaming and then actually blog about it?



So you may be asking yourself what is the point of this story?

Abso-freakin-lutely nothing. :)

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Waiting Room

We've all been there. The waiting room. Lots of chairs, a few old editions of Reader's Digest, other people all doing the same thing . . . . . waiting.

Some people are in the waiting room filled with hope of the news that might come, others are sitting in fear of the same news. Some are there scared there is no news and only more waiting.

That's where I feel in life right now, waiting. It's not a bad place to be, but then it's not exactly a good place to be. It just is.

I seem to be waiting for something. What? I'm not exactly sure.

Just waiting.

Maybe it's a decision, a direction, a new path. Maybe it's a door closing, the end of something. Not quite sure. It could be the beginning of something new, something unexpected, or it could be a continuation of the same.

I don't mind the waiting room. I'm trying not to mind the waiting. It's just a place in life that we all come to and have to go through.

That's all I got ya'll.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

The road well traveled

Ok I'm giving in.

I was going to wait and post this tomorrow when I had pictures and could tell the whole story but . . . oh well . . . . this can be an appetizer to the whole story.

If you've been to Jes or JCol's sites then you know the story.

Saturday we went to Jes's mom's house to hang out with a displaced family from New Orleans (sorry I can't call them refugees). They were a really neat family and we had lots of fun talking with them.

At the end of the day Jes took us on a guided tour of her mom's property. This was experienced from the back of a go-jeep (thanks JCol and Jes for the name).

The funny part of this was how many times we made Jes drive the same route. First with just the gals and then with a few of our new friends.

This video came from the trip with the guys. JCol's video is much more stable because she was sitting down in the bed of the go-jeep. I, on the other hand, decided that sitting on the 1 inch bed wall would be a good idea (bad idea, very bad idea) and then standing up was the next option.

Enjoy.



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Men

Do you know any really good men? Men that are servants, leaders, broken, empowered, loving, honest, dependant, strong?

They stand out in this world because they are so different from most of the men you come across. Guys, let me give you some inside knowledge, women know pretty much right away if you are a good man or not. Oh we might make concessions, and we might not want to admit it to ourselves, but we know, we can tell, and we yearn for those good men.

Not really quite sure why I’m even posting about this. I guess I’m just a little frustrated and disheartened because I see so many men that could be good men, should be good men, are Christian men and therefore have a higher expectation, but they aren’t good, in fact they are pretty disappointing.

Oh, I know good men. In fact, I am blessed to know many good men, good Christian men, but I also see the not-so-good and, well, that breaks my heart. I see men that aren’t involved in their children’s lives, who aren’t leaders, who aren’t servants, who aren’t living up to the calling God has placed on them. And this hurts my heart because I respect the role of a man so much.

Ok, so in the middle of writing this post (which by the way makes very little sense) I popped over to Rebekah’s blog. Thank you Lord for showing me the heart of a good man.

There really isn’t much I can say that isn’t expressed in this POST by Rebekah’s daddy.

I can’t get his words out of my heard. I can’t stop my heart from breaking for him.

The words from a song keep running through my head when I think of this type of man:

You are strong when you feel weak
In your brokenness complete

So guys out there, men, many of you are already GOOD MEN. I know this about you and I respect and honor you so much for this. Continue to be good men, continue to be weak, to be broken, to be leaders, to be loving, to be honest, to be true, to be servants, to be yielded to your Lord. Thank you for your example, thank you for being who God called you to be. Thank you for showing this girl that those men do exist in this world.

I'll be honest, this is the type of man I pray for. This is the type of man I ask God to let me marry. This is also the type of man I ask God to mold me and shape me to be the perfect companion and helper for. When you talk about the desire of a woman's heart, this is it, a good man who is yielded to the Lord. The rest is just bonus.

Also, please pray for Rebekah and her family, specifically her daddy today. Good men walk this earth, godly men, and they need our prayers.

Coming Attractions

The question and answer game is now closed. Well, I guess I should say if you ask me a question I still might answer it.

New post soon. A lot happened this weekend that is post worthy but I'm working on putting it in written form (and there are pictures - everyone loves pictures).

Friday, September 02, 2005

Gosh - Day 2

I'm guest blogging over at MIM today. CHECK IT OUT NOW.

But for now, keep bringing the questions.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Gosh

Ok so today I have stared at a blank Word document and just not had anything to type. Well that's not entirely true. There are plenty of things to type but nothing is coming out of worth.

So today I decided I'm accepting questions. Any questions.

Ask and you shall receive.

If you ask I will answer.

I'm like a magic 8 ball but with a lot more options.

So what do you want to know?