Multi-post Monday
Ok it's two posts for the price of one today. Don't forget to scroll down for Special by Proxy.
My new friend Stephanie posted her Dating Resume, or better yet, her requirements for a dating resume. She has some good stuff in there and asked me what my requirements would be if I had a dating resume. So to answer her question I dug back in the archives and resurrected this post (note this does not give you (Jessica, Eddie, and Ben to name a few) the excuse to stop reading because I’ve added some things, and you obviously think I’m a good read because you’re here so read it again and comment again).
I need a Hero
Doo doo doo doooo
Doo doo doo doooo
Doo doo doo doooo
AaahhhAaahhh
Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where’s the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need
I need a hero
I'm holding out for at hero 'till the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There’s someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heatI
t’s gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero 'till the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
So you’re asking yourself why is Kpinion subjecting us to 80’s music lyrics. Well because I am holding out for a hero myself.
Ah to be young, to be single, to be a girl. Wait, are those all good things? I have previously mused about singlehood and the female before but not today. Today you get my mind’s eye of what my hero will be like.
Now I know that all you marrieds out there are saying, wait Katie you can’t just make a list or have this grand idea because you will end up disappointed. That’s not how it works you are saying.
Well let me tell you something, that is how it is going to work for me. I’m not putting a height requirement, or even a hair color preference. I am equal opportunity on many items but there is a general description that I want my hero to be. And others may not think of him this way or he may not even think of himself this way but I will think of him as my hero and he will be the equivalent of my mind’s eye.
My hero is . . .
Smart, intelligent, educated, a life long learner. He doesn’t have to have a master’s degree or be the smartest man in the world but I want him to enjoy knowledge, to want to learn about the world out there and all the neat things in it. I want him to have a thirst for information, it can be on many subjects and they don’t have to be intellectual but he will know about things and want to learn about others.
Able, strong, capable of protecting me. I need a man who I feel secure with. He might be shorter than me, weigh less than me, but he will NOT be a sissy. I will have a man that makes me feel secure, that makes me feel small, that makes me feel like a woman instead of the capable she-man that I can be as a single gal living alone. He will open doors, lift heavy objects, and offer to do things that I am capable of but that he will want to do to show me he cares for me and wants to provide for me. Now realize that this quality is not always a physical quality, there is a certain presence visible in a man who is able to protect. I’ve known some big guys that I wouldn’t feel protected by and I’m know some smaller guys who I feel completely safe in their presence. It is a nature, a quality of mind and attitude that gives me this confidence in knowing that he is able and willing to stand up for me and protect me.
Honest, truthful, with integrity. My hero will be a man I look up to and desire to be like. I will have a husband that other men admire for his integrity and honesty. My family and friends will find him without major fault. They will trust him with my wellbeing. He will be upright and honest in all his dealings and this will be the guide for our life together. I will never have to question his word. Trust will be the backbone of our relationship because I know that when entering into a marriage I am handing him the right to make decisions, to direct our life, to be the leader.
Loving, affectionate, romantic. He will desire me as his wife. He will look at me with attraction and love everyday we are together. He will not want to be separated from me for more than a few days and will count the hours until we are reunited. He will look upon me with the same affection when we are 80 that he does the day we marry. He will always pursue me, not just at the beginning of the relationship but for the rest of our life.
A leader. I cannot follow a man who does not lead. I am too headstrong and will want to take charge if I do not have a man that knows his role as the husband and leads with love and mutual submission. He will be worthy of my submission and my respect. His leadership will be based on his love for Christ and his desire to love me as Christ loves the church. Leaders aren’t just a guy you will allow to lead, they are men that you desire to follow, men that know their role, know their responsibility, and lead through their own submission to Christ.
A good father. He will love his children sacrificially. He will want to provide a family for them where they are safe and cared for and they are trained to be men and women of substance and faith.
Fun, humorous, easy to be with. My hero will have a sense of humor. He will laugh at my silliness and want to make me laugh. He can laugh at himself. He will find joy and humor in the craziness of life and will know when to leave behind seriousness for laughter.
He will have a hobby, craft, or skill. He will enjoy sharing this with me and teach me to love something he loves. He will be patient as I learn and he will delight in my interest in his life.
Weak, broken, rebuilt. He won’t be a man who is self-sufficient within himself. He will have found the end of himself, and is all too aware of what can only be accomplished within him. I want a man who walks with a limp, who has been broken and rebuilt. It doesn’t matter who he “was” but who he “is.” His strength will come from his weakness and dependence on God.
Has a mission. My hero isn’t just sitting watching life pass him by. He has a goal, a mission, something that makes him want to get up in the morning. I don’t mind if it isn’t realized yet, but he better have something in his life that drives him. And in that mission, he has a place for me. It is fully his but I’m included in the dream, in the goal. We are a team working toward the same thing.
Wow, after re-reading this list I realize I have high standards but I’m glad for that. I hope I never get to a point in life where I am so discontent I decided to settle for anything less.
Well Stephanie, there you go, now you know my requirements. If I haven’t scared any guys off yet, this list might make them run for the hills.
I also realize that this list of requirements means that I have to be a certain kind of woman to be worthy of such a man. Still working on that.
22 Comments:
You are Conde-Wow-za. Now we just have to find the mail equivilent.
I would never tell you that your goals are too high or that you'll never find this guy. They're out there. They're not perfect just like we're not perfect. But they should have goals as well. And just like Eve was created for Adam. Perhaps, perhaps, you were created for your "Adam". Amazing, isn't it? You have inspired me to post about Brian now. Because you KNOW he's funny. And 63 pounds. :)
nxmsb
oh my word. the "mail" "equivalent".
That's what I get for eating my Caesar salad an typing at the same time!
seqhtdpp - Suck it up!!!!
HA HA HA HA!!!
JCol - Ahahaha, I'm glad you caught that because it made me laugh - "my mail equivalent" funny stuff.
And yes, you should post about Brian and all his 63 pounds.
First.. I am glad that your family is fine
Second....
Sorry Ben's already taken! Oh wait maybe there is another good one out there! :-)
Stick to all of those Katie for that is what God desires for you! And he will one day at the right time give them to you! It makes me respect you alot for knowing your hero is worth waiting for!
Thanks Syd,
Ben got SUMO BLESSED with you.
I respect you for the amazing wife and mommy that you are.
qtpuej - cutie paewgy (like patootie but a little different)
Good questions Jef.
I am all too aware that this won't be a oneway street. I anticipate my hero to have a list of his own and that I will hopefully fulfill his wants and desires for a wife.
Part of me wants to answer your questions but the other part of me knows I can "say" what I think I would do but I can't "know" that is what I'll do.
One big thing in all of this is that I realize my hero won't have "arrived" yet (because I know I sure haven't). That's the great thing about a relationship (at least I think it is a great part - married people chime in here with a yes or no) - growing together, changing, seeing who we are and who we want to be and watching as we sharpen each other to become what we want to be.
I'm still single, so I'm well aware that there are many (MANY) things in my life that God is still working on. I'm open to His molding, His changing, His teaching, and I welcome that process.
Thanks for the practical questions, I was talking in more generics but i know the practicals are important too.
Katie - what an awesome list. I hope you get him. Keep praying! As for now keep on enjoying your singlesdom.
SO glad and relieved to hear the fam is OK. Very cool Mom got to meet W.
Again, is was nice meeting you - you are a sweet gal with an angelic smile. :)
Thanks Cav - it was fun to meet you to. I like putting a face and person with the blogger identity.
He is out there... and God is preparing you both right now. Don't ever settle for anything less. Katie, I love your heart and your constant pursuit of God's plan for your life! Thanks for sharing this.
Now I know I'm in love.
There are "mail order brides"
Wonder if there are "mail order husbands??"
LOL.
He is out there Katie... be picky. Forever is a long time... so make your list and stick to it. I am sure he won't "have arrived..." Nobody ever has... but it's a good thing to set your sites on a guy with certain qualities.
So, I read it again... and it seemed pretty much the same to me... what did you change?? Or was this a ploy to get me to read your blog?
thwnbz (The Woman biz?)
Ha Ha, Ben I did add a few things, no major changes. But you did read it all so my little ploy of a challenge worked.
um, hi. i couldn't figure out what you added that was new.
and, um, anonymous? quit being anonymous. we all (read: katie and i) know who you are. so just stop it.
thanks,
the management.
And for another thought. Not all of these qualities are possessed when you meet someone, or even marry someone. Only God knows their true potential and what their willingness will be to realize that potential. Some of the qualities that I mentioned about Brian grew after we were dating, and some after we were married. Thankfully we can change for the better.
Just a thought.
True JCol, we are all works in progress
Katie- good stuff! Very thoughtful! I'm glad that you're picky! It's okay to be that way! If we're not, we wind up in very sticky, horrible, messy situations that are awful to have to pull ourselves out of. So it's just better to know exactly what you're looking for. Because once the lines are drawn, there's no crossing them, and a strong woman like yourself won't tolerate anyone trying to pretend they're something their not just to impress you... because you'll see right through that. God Bless you in your singlehood, and bless the man that he's preparing for you.
Loved this post Katie. Oh yeah... and Anonymous: If you're the Anonymous that has posted in the past... pretty sure I know who you are too... don't be shy, show your face! It's okay to be in love with Katie! ;)
Steph (do you mind steph? or do you like stephanie?) you know who anonymous is? Hmmm, interesting, I don't know who he is but I know where he is.
Katie -
Fellow "Bloggians" (hehe for some reason, that word really makes me giggle!) have taken the liberty of calling me Steph, so I've just been rollin' with that.
Well I thought I knew... but now if you don't know, then I definitely don't know. Where is Mr. Anon from, anyway?
phew. I've been calling you Steph all along. Sure glad you don't mind!
yszctsh - sheesh!
KT, I told you to stop posting my e-Harmony profile on here and calling it your list of requirements! :) KT, you will indeed find you a hero someday and he is going to love your shiny hair and your cookie baking skillz!
Perhaps high standards, but they are all qualities of my darling hubby. I'm nearly 6' myself, and not a tiny gal. My darling is shorter than me and weighs A LOT less but he makes me feel secure. He is a leader, etc etc. An awesome man whom I love and adore.
This was such an excellent post.
K-T,
My niece and nephew were watching Shrek 2 last night in our spare bedroom. From the kitchen, I hear "I need a heroooo, I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the nighht..."
And I thought of you, my friend.
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