Do I watch too much T.V.?

Ok so this weekend was one of complete laziness.

No I haven't turned to the life of a sluggard (note the extra g and the ard so that you won't think I am turning into a slug either, yuck like that guy in the fly - gross, that movie was freaky with a capital f and y).

Well I’ve been sickly lately; the sickly where you feel sick some days and fine the next but the sickness hangs around and rears its sickly head when you are super busy. So I decided to rest, relax, and give my body a weekend of nothing.

So I did what any other sick person would do and I slept, read, and watched TV. And what did I watch you may ask. Well many many things. It seems that when there is something good on that you want to watch, there are many good things on and you must choose between all the good. But when there is nothing of interest you want to watch there is also nothing of quality, time, or even the effort to push the little button on the remote worth watching.

But I digress, not digest mind you. I watched four things of interest this weekend. I will include Thursday night because it is note worthy and funny.

CSI – I taped the rerun on Thursday night because I was spending time with the girls. Of all the CSIs there are, and I’ve seen 97.334 percent of them, this was the best 15 minutes of intial CSIing I’ve ever seen. This show is very technical and often dark and disturbing in the crime so when they throw in a little bit of humor it is good stuff. So I laughed out loud at 11:00 p.m. in my house at three funny scenes. I’m debating whether to tell them to you as they will not be funny and then you will watch the show and it will all be a big letdown and then well you’ll never trust me again when I say things are funny. Oh well feel free to scroll past this is you want.

Funny scene #1

The head CSIer walks up to a college grounds maintenance worker(GMW) and asks about his chipper (makes mulch out of tree branches)

CSIer: Can a body fit through this?

GMW: Are you planning something?

CSIer: Gill Grissom, Las Vegas Crime Lab.

GMW: John Smith, master of the universe.

Laughter ensues on my part.

The CSIer swabs the chipper with a q-tip (which are the #1 beauty product if you believe the radio ads) and proceeds to wipe it on a small white piece of plastic that detects if it’s human blood.

GMW: Is it pregnant?

Laughter ensues.

New Scene

Another CSIer is counting maggots in the lab, the scene opens with him:

Diez y sies, Diez y siete, Diez y ocho (He’s counting in Spanish and it more white than me)

Laughter

Ok so that whole thing might have bombed but it was funny to me.

Next Show: Con Air

Ok so how funny is it when a rough and tumble guy’s movie which is supposed to be action packed is more funny than exciting. Nicolas Cage – who I really like as an actor and find very attractive, I know I’m weird – plays a former army ranger who is put in jail and is being released but ends up on a prisoner transport train that becomes high jacked by other prisoners.

Ok the most funny line:

Scary rapist prisoner: Do you know what I am?

Nic: Ugly all day (said in a backwoods Alabama accent)

Classic funny. And there were so many more. Watch the movie for the lines and laugh and laugh and laugh.


Next Show: Pompeii

My nerd quotient was filled by this show, although I missed the first half hour and hope they re-run it so I can see it. I love the Discovery and History channel. I could live the rest of my life forced to watch these two stations 20 hours a day and be content. Hi I’m Katie and I’m a nerd.


Next Show: Hallmark Movie – Ordinary Days

Ok I know this seems very much out of place with the rest but oh well it was good. I actually taped this because I had read reviews that said it was worth while. It was good. I want to move to a farm in Colorado and have a sweet gentle farmer fall in love with me. I think I withheld the tears but it was a little hard.


Ok so that is the weekend recap. Oh wait I also went out on Sunday night to celebrate Heather’s birthday and then had a very interesting and thought invoking conversation with Matt and Heather. It was so good I talked to myself about it all the way home. Conversations that lead to me talking to myself are usually the best.

Sorry for the randomness of today’s post. I’ll try to be more cohesive tomorrow.

Not blonde in a ditzy way, just blonde in a very-light-colored-hair-true-blonde-coloring-way-and-it’s-natural-not-bottled, much-like-the-Vikings-were-

Is there anyway to get a t-shirt made with this on it? Ha Ha Ha Ha. Jessica, my hilarious friend posted this as a description of me. She also went on to say that I’m not a ditzy blonde but a smart blonde like Condoleezza Rice, although she is not blonde, nor Viking looking, but I’ll take the compliment all the same.

Speaking of Jessica, she is my “blog guru”, or “blog coach”, similar to “life coach” but not that co-dependent.

Note to the reader: I like to think of myself as a grammar extraordinaire, or maybe and extraordinaire-in-training, as I work with three top notch grammar spies. That is, in my work correspondence and writing I try to always adhere to all grammatical and punctuation rules of life. In blog world I realize that these rules do not always apply and can, in some instances, hinder the story-telling aspect of the post. Therefore, I would entreat my readers to use actual “air quotes” when they see them placed in text. Yes, that means that as you read I want you to take your index and middle fingers bend them in a semi-circle and returning to straight (twice, I suggest) as you read any words or phrases that contain the “air quotes”. That was a test, did you do it when you saw the “air quotes”? Did you do it again? Ok well get practicing and I think that this action will help you to enjoy my posts and also strengthen those finger muscles that may not get the amount of exercise they deserve.

Now back to your original programming . . . . . . . .

I’ve felt some pressure lately as to the quality and quantity of my posts on kpinion. I have been busy at work, stressed with deadlines, and feeling a lack of that special spark of creativity and humor that seems to be a must for a good post. Well my “blog coach” (Did you do the air quotes?) suggested that I just start typing and see what comes out. So here you go, the following is my random typing of what is in my mind.

Traffic-
If there was ever a thing that I truly hate it is traffic. This may be a symptom of my lack of patience. I hate traffic, it actually makes my internal body temperature rise by at least 5 degrees. I am convinced that most traffic is caused, not by accidents or construction, but by stupid people who do not know how to drive. Why oh why do some people feel that they can choose a lane, choose a speed, and no force may move them. Who are these people who drive five miles under the speed limit and park themselves in the passing lane (which of course is labeled by signage on the side of the road)? Who are these people who feel they must pace the driver next to them, thereby causing a backup of absolute proportions behind their cozy couple driving? Why oh why have they not invented flying cars, like I drew in first grade when I pictured the year 2000? Flying cars would solve this problem as we could dart not just right and left but up an down.

Friends-
Why is it that I forget how much fun it is to get together with a group of friends and eat some food, talk a little bit, and have a good time with each other? I did so last night and it was surprisingly refreshing, humorous, and overdue. Oh the things we talked about, experienced, and did. Below is a recollection of the evening:

Bathhouses with needle showers, mayonnaise massages, and old women bathing you
Don’t worry the bather-giver said that it was just like going to Walmart, of course if everyone at Walmart was NAKED

Difficulty reading a menu and ordering – our poor waiter, I think he told us the answers to the same questions over and over and over again, but he was a good sport about it

Singing “Happy Birthday” (btw these are not air quotes they are in substitution of italics because this is the name of a song) in Italian over and over again without actually singing it to anyone in particular – and singing it louder than any of the waiters did to any of the other birthday patrons. Jessica advising us that the word for birthday sounded like gory.

Jessica giving career advice to our waiter on graphic design. You would think that she was a recruiter.

Nicolle amazing us all with her life motto – “Live or die. Or whatever” I’m going to make a t-shirt with this printed on it.

Erica’s (and I quote from her most recent email) – “inappropriate fascination with meaty balls”

The waiter at the next table spilling water all over some poor girl and the frantic clean up and pr issues that ensued, of course we paid little attention because we were in crazy talk, laughter, singing mode

The memories of birthday parties, roommates, and what we wore to both or in front of both – Jessica at her surprise party – “Sad.”

Our waiter announcing he was turning 30 in a few months when he looked no older than 18, maybe just maybe 20.

Bread and octopi overload. Ok so not octopi but squid, with their little baby tentacles attached to the polyps and Jessica making her’s dance in the dipping sauce. Freak me out.

Me moving my olives and peppers to Jessica’s salad during the prayer and her unknowingly then removing them from her salad. Ha Ha Ha Ha

Liver parmesan and dog food meaty balls – two things that Jessica called the food, over and over and over again, and fairly loudly. Then telling the waiter her chicken tasted like liver.
Jessica and I spending a good 45 minutes talking on the phone as we drove toward the restaurant and then talking another 30 before anyone else got there.

Nicolle sitting in the waiting area for 10 minutes even though we were seated not 15 feet from that area. Sad for Nicolle.

Coming up with random names for each other, what were these for anyway. I called Nicolle Trixie and I was Kitty but I don’t know why. And heather kept calling me kitty cat and meowing. Not sure why she did that either.

Jessica, Nicolle, and Heather being the only three with alcoholic drinks but us calling Erica the drunk.

And so much more. Oh I’ll have to remember it all and post more later.

Calgon take me away

Does anyone remember those commercials where the woman is completely overloaded with work, family, stress and in desperation she screams "Calgon, take me away" and then magically she is transported to a huge bathtub with bubbles, candles, and the important Calgon, which I am convinced is some time of narcotic that can be ingested through contact with the skin. I always thought these commercials were a little weird. I mean the woman was there in a bathtub naked (a little sketchy for the early 80s when these commercials started, of course this was before the age of wardrobe malfunctions). Well I am in a state now where I want the happy tub to take me away. I'm serious if a bathtub floated down in front of my desk right now I would jump in and fly away to bubble heaven with candles, chocolate, a good book and a Diet Dr Pepper. So if anyone knows of where the magical bathtub comes from feel free to send it my way.

Untitled

Like my friend Eddie I hesitated to post this but from urging of a Jessica and the hope that it may comfort someone else:

My grandmother, a lifelong teacher, faithful follower of Christ, amazing wife and mother, and about the smartest woman I've ever known passed away this morning. And while I mourn the days that I will spend on this earth without her physical presence I rejoice that she now is in the presence of her Lord and has been called to her eternal home.

The following is an email I sent out to a few friends who knew of her sickness:


First off, thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers for me and my family as my grandmother has been in the hospital. This morning she was called home by her Savior and Lord. I am so thankful that through God’s mercy, she went without pain and difficulty. Please continue to pray for my family that the peace and compassion of God would cover them and hold them secure. Please also pray that this will be an opportunity for God to speak to the hearts of those who do not know him as their Lord. I rejoice that my faithful grandmother is in the presence of the one who knows her name and counts her heart as His.

Throughout this I have been comforted by Paul’s words to the Athenians in Acts 17: 26-28: And He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we also are His children’.

What a comfort to know that God has appointed each of our times and our boundaries. We are never far from the hand of the Lord who leads us, comforts us, and even holds us in our despair. Our Lord is good and wise and His will is perfect. Oh, to stand in the presence of the One who calls us by our names, who created us for His own pleasure, who reconciled us to Him through His own Son. What joy, what peace, what comfort, what a pleasure to be called to His presence.

Thank you for your love, support, and friendship.

Katie

Beeeeeeeeep

Warning, warning, the user has exceeded capacity of time, space, and sanity. Therefore to prevent total melt down the user is shutting down to rest. As soon as the user has cooled down and is in no danger of exploding she will re-boot and start up the program. We apologize for any inconceivable this may cause you and direct you to other sites for your entertainment. We hope to have this problem corrected soon and return you to your regular programming. Thank you for your patience in this matter.

My own little reality show

That title should be the title of my life. You would think that the funny, weird, crazy, unbelievable things that happen would only appear on TV, but no they are my life. And in honor of reality shows, you the reader will have a voice in what I post next.

I will display the title to future posts below and from those you, the audience, will get to vote for and choose what I will post next. It is a simple thing, just list the title you like the most and I will post that blog next. So here are the choices:

1. I hate to admit it but . . . . . .

2. Comdey of errors on the mountaintop

3. My make-believe family

4. Being Katie

5. A day in the life of

6. At this moment


Ok America, now it's your time to choose. So log on and make your voice heard. Remember that every vote counts so don't let someone else choose what you will read here.

Please note: The winning title will be posted on Tuesday, Jan 18. Voting will close that morning at 8:30.

Why do I do these things? Why am I driven to follow Jessica blindly down the road of horrible chain letters? Why? Why? Why? Oh well why ask why, here I go blindly following her lead.

Enjoy a little bit about me:

3 names you go by:
1) Katie
2) KT
3) Kathryn
4) Miss Smith if you’re nasty (I couldn’t hold back on this Janet Jackson tie in)

3 screen names you have:
1. Katie_rae7
2. ksmith
3. krae

3 things you like about yourself:
1. my unending quest for knowledge
2. my weird sense of humor
3. my ability to overcome
4. my super powers, which if the world found out about I would become a lab experiment, so don't tell anyone, ok

3 things you hate/dislike about yourself:
1. my need to always be right
2. my lack of desire to be “athletic”
3. the contrast between my organized mind and unorganized desk/house/car

3 things that scare you:
1. absolute loneliness
2. the craziness that my mind can create after watching a scary or disturbing movie
3. snakes, all kinds, all sizes, even behind glass (I DON’T DO SNAKES)

3 of your everyday essentials:
1. Burt’s Bees lip gloss
2. hand lotion
3. watch (auggh I’ve actually turned around and driven back home for it when I’ve forgotten it, turned around 10 minutes into my trip, that’s a 20 minute detour for a watch.

3 things you're wearing right now:
1. panty hose (I’m at work)
2. skirt (I’m at work)
3. watch (see above on essentials)

3 of your favourite bands/artists:
1. Shane and Shane (never a bad time for the Shanes)
2. Train
3. Bon Jovi
P.S. I like the European way of spelling favorite, very worldly

3 of your favourite songs at present:
1. I never know song titles unless I’ve purchased a CD
2. I just know the songs that I like when I hear them on the radio
3. I have nothing to say but could not leave this spot blank
P.S. again with the european favorite

3 new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. running a 5k
2. grad school
3. a change of scenery

3 things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
1. respect (me for him specifically, but him for me is also needed)
2. a leader
3. humor

2 truths and a lie:
1. i have been in a yellow school bus that overturned and taken to the hospital in an ambulance
2. I’ve been this close (hold arms apart, hey that is closer than you’ve probably been) to JFK Jr.
3. I wore Forrest Gump braces on my legs when I was little
(now, can you tell me which one is the lie?)

3 physical things about a love interest that appeal:
1. intelligence
2. humor
3. he's taller than me when i'm wearing heels
4. eyes that hide something deeper

3 things you just can't do:
1. eat the following:
a) Cornnuts (can’t smell them either – gross, vomit enducing)
b) Mashed potatoes with any type of meat product in it, e.g. ham chunks
c) Soggy bread – nope, noway, not happening
2. water ski – I can snow ski but the water is my enemy
3. shut up sometimes when I disagree with someone (I’m working on this though)

3 of your favorite hobbies:
1. reading
2. blogging
3. dreaming

3 things you want to do really badly right now:
1. get out of my upcoming meeting
2. move to D.C.
3. put on pants, my legs are cold in this skirt

3 careers you're considering:
1. political consultant/lobbyist
2. lawyer
3. white house employee

3 places you want to go on vacation:
1. Ireland
2. Scotland
3. New Zealand

3 kids names (either boy or girl):
1. Andrew (boy)
2. Kyler (girl – sounds like tyler)
3. Abigail (girl)

3 things you want to do before you die:
1. visit the above listed places
2. work in the White House
3. have children

Me, myself, and I (what a conversation)

Do you ever talk to yourself? Out loud? Not just a word or two here and there. Not mumbling some to do list, but actual conversations out loud with yourself?

I do.

Quite often actually.

Now before any of you start calling the happy bus that takes me to the nice, safe, padded cell hear me out for a minute or two.

I like to talk outloud. I live alone so after a while if you've been in your house for hours alone you begin to forget what your voice sounds like. It's is a very weird sensation to occur. You begin to wonder if, in fact, you have lost the ability to speak at all. So you have to talk and you have noone else but yourself to talk to.

Don't judge, some of you yell at the T.V. when someone on your show does something you don't like, some of you even yell out plays or directions to an athlete during a NFL game. You are the crazy people, like they can even hear you. At least when I talk to myself I know I am talking to a real and present audience.

I like to talk to myself in the car also. Sometimes I debate things, sometimes I make long speeches (never oscar acceptance one though, maybe a nobel peace prize acceptance one but just that one time). Sometimes I reenact a conversation I had with another person that didn't go the way I wanted and I replay it with all the corrections I have now had time to consider. Sometimes I have pre-emptive conversations, getting my thoughts in line for an upcoming discussion. Now realize that I never play the other part of the conversation, I'm not that out of it.

And then sometimes I just talk about whatever is in my head. The good thing about talking in the car is that previously people would look at me rather funny because I often talk with my hands so it was obvious that I wasn't singing along to the music, unless of course it was some weird tribal music that required handmotions. But now with the invention of the handsfree cell phone systems I can talk and most people assume that I'm on the phone with someone. I'm an undercover self-talker.

So know that if I'm ever in the room with you and I begin talking but it seems like I'm talking to noone, I'm just talking to myself, and hey I may even be practicing my conversation that I will have with you in just a few moments.

Is that weird?

Matt Hilliard's Fan Club

FYI for all those who know the Hilliard - There will be a a kind of farewell reception (come-and-go format) for Matt at the Hangar on Sunday, January 23 starting at 8:00.

If you happen to keep in contact with any former leaders or students that would be interested in coming,pass the word along about this event.

We’re also looking for old pictures, too. Ellen Whatley is now accepting all digital and/or hard copy contributions you might care to make to the cause. We’ll most likely be creating some sort of slideshow for the reception. If you have pictures please contact Ellen at lndenise@hotmail.

Here's Katie

Guess who's back, back again?

Katie's back tell a friend.

Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back.



Welcome to a new year and I hope it has started off well for everyone. I've been on Christmas break - bless the school calendar. But now I'm back so you'll be hearing from me soon, very soon.

By the way, I like having everyone wonder where I've been, a little bit of mystery there. Everyone likes the mysterious type and as I am usually outspoken and make my presence known there is not a lot of mystery.