Transition

Why does it seem like life is always in a state of transition? From whatever random point in time you happen to inhabit at the moment it always feels like wherever you came from was firm and wherever you're going will be firm but here, right now, big ol transition.

And then future becomes present and present become past and you feel like you are back in transition. But wait, I thought that past was firm and future was firm but I'm still in transition. AAAUGH!

So I guess from my perspective life just always seems to be in transition. I look with fond memories to the past and forget the craziness of the transition because it's in the past, it's done it, it's completed and that somehow makes it feel firm. And then I glance with hope at the future thinking that there must be some firm ground to set my feet upon out there. And yet when I arrive to that "firm" ground I realize that it's really the ebbs and flows of transition.

Perspective is a funny thing, from far off things look mighty different than they do up close. And that's the amazing thing about it, in the moment, close up things look so different. Transition looks scary and overwhelming and sometimes even unsurmountable. But in hindsight things aren't as bad as you thought, survival is inevitable. And when glancing out to the horizon of the future there is hope that things will be better.

And then I remember that while I'm tossed upon the waves of time, riding the transition and holding on for life, that there is something beyond this past and future. There is a timeless place that my heart can find rest. Transition is life but it isn't eternity. How great a thought is that.

Two things

1. I added a link to Deals's blog (or should it be Deals' blog? - English majors help a sister out) as a special gift to my sisters. There you go Kristen and Kelli, happy birthday!

2. I got so show off my random assortment of almost useless knowledge today. In discussing the Writer's Guild Association strike and the effect that has on my mild obsession with a few TV shows (mostly The Office and Lost), I made a comment about the writers striking by marching around in pointed shoes and striped socks and then proceeded to sing the little ditty from The Wizard of Oz - "We represent the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild, and in the name of the lollipop guild, we wish to welcome you to munchkin land".

As my co-workers looked at me with those familiar quizzical faces of amusement, confusion, and a slice of fear I went on to explain that the writers were in a guild and those munchkins were in a guild. It was at that moment that both of them got the look of utter amazement and understanding and said they never understood what a guild was or what the munchkins were singing about.

TADAAAA, once again my random assortment of knowledge has brought much needed enlightenment to others. It is at these moments in life that I feel a small blossoming of pride that I have not only made someone's day brighter but have imparted to them the wisdom that has been entrusted to me.

Passion?

Over the last few weeks the topic of passion, roles, gifts, and skills has been circling around our staff.

Sidenote: Is it weird that a majority of my life revolves around my job/profession? I work for a church, I direct a children's ministry, I volunteer co-leading a small group of college students, I am part of a weekly bible study, and the majority of my friends (well all) share a common faith in Christ. Is it weird that somehow my life and my profession seem to be one in the same? And who else gets to say that? It seems alltogether weird and cool at the same time, as well as a bit overwhelming.

Ok, back to the topic at hand. So these topics have been coming up and well as my mind tends to do, I've internalized the conversation and moved it inside my head and my heart. What is my passion? What are my gifts and skills? How does that fit into the roles I now inhabit? Am I in the right roles? Am I willing to admit I'm not or that maybe my roles need to tweek a bit to take advantage of my passion/gifts/skills?

You know what else has been exciting, asking other people what their passions are, their gifts/skills and askign if they see them fit with their roles. And then there is the part of me that wants to somehow help them get to a place (a role) that takes advantage of those passions/gifts/skills. I want to come alongside and offer whatever it is I have to offer to watch them find that "sweet spot" where everything intersects.

And yet when I take a deep look at myself, I'm not sure what my passions are. I know what I can do, I know what I like to do. Oh I also know what I don't like and what I can't do (although I'm so hard-headed I might just try to do what I can't so that it gets done - stubborness anyone?).

So I wonder, what is my passion? How does that fit with my gifts/skills? And how does all of that flow into the roles that I fill right now?

Looks like I might need some more inside my head time.

Looking Back

So we officially dubbed today "High School Rememberance Day" at my office. This official holiday included each of us digging through closets to find yearbooks, scrapbooks, and photo albums to show off just how cool we were back in the good ol days.

First I should tell you I work with a staff that ranges in age from 21 to 37, with an average age of 28. Wow, I'm above the average age (taking a moment to let out a large sigh and hold back the tears). So our pastor (he wins the prize for oldest) was about 16 or 17 when our communication intern (the youngest) was born. Nice math I can accomplish, huh?

So this morning, we all gathered in the receptionist's pit to lock arms and skip through a trip down memory lane. And it was HI-lar-ious. There is something so innocent and yet dorky about high school. You're stuck in the place of pretending to have all your junk together when in fact you are a total mess. Fashion sucks, your hair is a disaster, and you're trying so hard to impress everyone, all while pretending to be the coolest person you know or at least better than the kid that sits next to you in spanish class.

So there was a good deal of laughter, self-depreciating jokes, and some amazing fashion statements to be in awe of today. It was fun to see what we were all like back in a same time frame since we're all in different life stages now.

From jocks to musicians to people who march to their own beat to dancers to daters to mascots to school clubbers to homecoming kings and duct-tape prom goers I work with a crazy bunch of people who keep me laughing daily. And yet I wonder if we were to all inhabit the same high school at the same time, would we have formed this merry bunch of misfits that we now make?

Adding a little color to my life

A few weekends ago my friend Caron came into town and we painted my apartment. Her idea, by the way, not mine. I try to show out of town guest sa better time than picking up a paint brush and also scrubbing the tile in my shower. Ironically she enjoys a little house re-do, so off we went to Lowes after lots of hemming and hawwing on my part in picking the right shade of paint.

There's something about putting paint on the wall. It's like marking your territory (although not in a cat or dog sort of way for all you whose minds immediately went THERE). Paint is semi-permanent, takes time and effort, and is a big step beyond throwing a poster on the wall with thumb tacks.

So here I submit for your viewing pleasure the semi-permanent mark of paint on three walls.

First a few in progress pics:

And now the final product:

And all together now:

p.s. Can I just say I love that there is a diet dr pepper can sitting on my coffee table. It truly is a staple in my life.