Good 'ol southern gal

I would like to think I am a good little southern girl but the fact is I was born in southeast Texas and could almost be considered a Louisiana girl. Texas really doesn’t count as the south more like the southwest. So while I would like to group myself with all those sweet southern debutantes who were taught at a young age to have proper manners, sit with their ankles crossed and know how to ballroom dance from the age of 3 I am in fact a former (well not that former) tomboy who had mostly male friends, a Barbie doll who was married to my GI Joe, had fairly good manners but not those southern-born ones, and was constantly gotten onto in elementary school for talking to my neighbor. In fact, I almost wanted to suggest to my teacher that she just check that column for the year and get the menial task of doing it every six weeks out of they way. That would be the economical thing to do because she was predisposed to consider me a “talker” while in fact I was just social and wanting to participate in a discourse on the subject at hand (fancy words for a fancy girl). See even at a young age I had the appearance of good manners and rule following but underneath I was a shifty gal who knew how to talk the talk and outsmart the other person in the process. Ohh it gives me chills to realize that about myself. But we have strayed from the topic at hand. So my manners have recently taken a turn for the better. I say yes sir and no ma’am, which of course throws my parents for a loop when I use it with them. Yes I am a 27 year old woman who has finally realized that you get more bees with honey than vinegar and a nice sir and ma’am thrown in always helps out the situation. The problem is when to use sir and ma’am. This is a conflict for me at my work as I work with many more senior adults and I struggle with the level factor that determines how you address a co-worker. Do I call a mom who is also a teacher by her first name or by Mrs. such and such. If I once referred to them as Mrs. when is the appropriate time to switch to their given name. Should this be a cold turkey switch or a gradual thing over time as I pivot back and forth between Mrs. and given? Oh the stress that goes into this. Also with parents should I use Mrs. and Mr. to show that I am giving them respect while they continually refer to me by my given name and even seem to use it with their children so that second graders call me by my first name. By the way this is of course a big “no, no” at our school, students should always refer to staff members by a title and their last name. No Miss S either, we want appropriate names that show their respect and submission to our overlordness. Ok so that was a little over the top. Here is another predicament. I seem to be seen as a continual college student. The amazing thing is I’ve been out of college for 4 years now and I’m 2.5 years from being 30 but alas I think I am still viewed at a “kid”. The other funny thing is that I am older than many of these parents where when they first had kids of their own and yet I am still seen as young. I wonder if I had a wedding ring on my left hand or a baby on my hip would I be viewed as being older? Is marriage and childbirth an immediate jump to adulthood (like taking the big ladder in chutes and ladders and without the ring or the baby you are going down the big slide to the bottom of the pile). See I know many girls (women) who are married or even have children and in my opinion I am more of an adult than they are. I’ve had to support myself for the last four years; I’ve lived on my own since I was 18; I went off to college away from friends, family, anything familiar for my freshman year and then came back an independent woman to live in my home town; I own my own car with I’ve bought with my own money; I am a single adult woman. It actually frustrates me that somehow because I am not married or with child that I am not an official adult. When did this become the defining factor in adulthood? Does that mean that those junior high teen girls who are pregnant get their adult card before me? All this to say I’m wondering if I should drop the Mr. and Mrs. and start referring to parents by their first names so that we are all on the same playing field and by that one insignificant act I will maybe get by adult card by a round about way. So what do you think? Manners or adulthood?