Been thinking

So it seems that the deep thinking, pondering, contemplating Katie has taken a break of late. It's not that I haven't been thinking, or pondering, or even contemplating but it's been more internal and often lost in the urgency of the immediate. Maybe when I'm not face first in a struggle my vision quickly drifts away from staring intently at my own heart and what God's working within it. So for whatever reason, I've just been a bit more quiet when it comes to matters of the heart. I'm not sure if this is a temporary drought of words or a season without much rain, so we'll just have to see. I do know that I'm not too keen on forcing myself. As I look back on things I have written I know that they have come from my heart at that exact moment. I'm anything if not spontaneous in my own depth of thought and introspection.

One thing I do know is that God is sovereign through all of this. Of all His qualities and attributes, those we can see clearly and those that are shrouded in mystery, this is probably my absolute favorite. And yet I often find it hard to put into words what God's sovereignty is, so let's take a look at some definitions.

Sovereignty:
1. the quality or state of being sovereign.
2. the status, dominion, power, or authority of a sovereign; royalty.
3. supreme and independent power or authority in government as possessed or claimed by a state or community.
4. rightful status, independence, or prerogative.

Here are some other key definitions:
1. Complete independence and self-government.
2. "pre-eminence"
3. of God, his absolute right to do all things according to his own good pleasure

So maybe we need to take a look at the key part of the word:

Sovereign (adjective)

1. belonging to or characteristic of a sovereign or sovereignty; royal.
2. having supreme rank, power, or authority.
3. supreme; preeminent; indisputable.
4. greatest in degree; utmost or extreme.
5. being above all others in character, importance, excellence, etc.
6. efficacious; potent.

So now that the vocabulary lesson is over with, I'm not sure if that helped at all. While I may not be able to fully grasp or more likely convey God's sovereignty, I know that the not knowing almost makes me more in awe of Him. That part of God that we can never fully grasp because the shadow of it on this world is so vague and incomplete. He is the great I AM and that He might turn his eye toward me, know my name, and even think to begin to love me overwhelms me everyday.

This is a quote from a recent BSF lesson on Romans. I'm citing the souce because it's copywrited.

" . . . It is because God is God. He is sovereign in all He does. He is good and He is faithful. He keeps His word and determines all contingencies. God's purposes at the end are exactly what they were at the beginning."

I love that last line, His purposes are exactly the same at the end as they were at the beginning, and they stay the same throughout our lives. God's purposes are always true and good and for His glory. His purposes for me are born of love, held up by his perfect will, just and right, and they are constant throughout the very inconsistencies that I bring to the situation. And so when I find myself questioning His purposes all along this path He has lain before me, I can trust that they are the same, they are never bending, they are His alone, and they are good.