Ahhh the things we become famous for

It's official, I'm now known the world over for falling down. In fact, this very unappreciated talent is in such high demand a friend actually asked me to create a diversion for her.

It seems her plan was for me to thow myself upon the floor (by accidnet of course, or at least it would appear that way) so that all eyes would be on me and not her as she snuck in a donation of school supplies to her church. I'm not sure why such a distraction was needed upon donating school supplies, maybe she didn't want people to see the massive amount of disney princesses (princessi? help with the plural form or princess) paraphanelia. I, of course, turned down this offer. I only fall down in public for my own personal humiliation or for lots and lots of money. I mean, come on, I have principles and pride you know.

So yes, I am a professional faller. This skill had been honed over many years of just tripping or slipping or stumbling. That stuff is for the beginners, but when you reach the heights of falling you have arrived.

And for all of you that laugh at my falling I will now make you feel a bit of guilt. See as a child I was knock-kneed and pigeon toed (at least I think that is what I was) and therefore I was required to wear braces on my legs. Metal contraptions that immobilized my knees and ankles. A little patent white laced up bootie was attached to a metal cage that surrounded my cute little one year old legs all the way up to my hiney. In fact if I leaned just perfect all my weight was positioned on the padded thigh masters (as they will now be referred to) and I could sit while standing. Now don't you feel bad for laughing. I was a poor kid in braces. A cute little blonde girl with a bright smile and braces on my little legs. The guilt should be seeping into your soul right now.

I wonder if the fact that I was a child prodigy when it came to walking some how hindered my ability to walk without falling down. For my mother loves to tell me that I up and walked at 8 months. It seems that I was quickly bored with crawling and knowing that I would be competing with the double-mint twins (my sisters) in a little over a year I needed to establish my hold on the cuteness and master of the universe title. So walking at a young age seemed like the way to go about my plan of world domination. Unfortunately for me I see mto have succomed to the price of such young stardom with the braces and now with the falling.

So I fall. Ok, ok, I fall a lot. I trip on flat land. I stumble up and down stairs. I roll my ankles while standing still. I see it more as a talent than a curse. I fall with grace for I learned long ago how to contort my body to do the least amount of harm when suffering from my occassional (read: constant) falling.

At least it brings entertainment to others. And if my impact on this world is to make people smile and laugh at the expense of a little falling than I am willing to give that of myself.

See it's really a gift to all of you. I fall, you laugh, the world is a better place.