Thursday, August 11, 2005

The Chum

Yuck, just the thought of that word makes my stomach twist. Back when I use to work with out youth group we had an event we called Mess Fest. It was a glorified food fight. We wanted something messy, something fun, something unforgettable.

Instead of doing an all out food fight we decided to have a competition of sorts and involve the NASTIEST food we could find. So we gathered up about 20 dozen eggs, about 15 big ol tubs of oatmeal, some chicken feed, pudding, whip cream, and the best part “moo glide” (more on that later).

I can’t really remember all the actual tasks the teams had to do but I remember it was CRAZY MESSY.

Oh yeah, I need to explain the chum. Chum is made up of coolers of hot steaming oatmeal, chicken feed, and orange Gatorade powder. It has a texture all its own and a smell that is, well, pretty much vomit inducing. The chum would become the backbone of the evening.

So we had the kids do all these different games. One was a blindfolded egg toss and then an egg shoot-out at 10 paces. Nothing like starting off when the sun is still out and beating down by having everyone covered in eggs.

We then moved on to a obstacle course where all the leaders pelted the kids with piping hot chum and they made their way through the course and then had to bob in pudding. Good times, good times.

One of my favorites was the “moo glide” dunk and slide. Kids had to run down and dunk themselves head first into the “moo glide”. This magic potion was something we picked up from the farm store when we got the chicken feed. Its sole purpose in farming is to act as a lubricant for birthing cows. Yep, you read that right, for birthing cows. It comes in powder form and when you add water turns into the slimy wet stuff that feels just like water but whicks off of you when you shake your arm. It is the coolest stuff in the world. So kids had to dunk themselves in a huge trash can of moo glide and then slide across a ghetto slip in slide (i.e. tarp) and tag their teammate who then had to do the same thing. It was HILARIOUS.

So after all the competitions we had the all out fest of the mess. We brought out more coolers of hot chum, buckets of pudding and whip cream, another trash can of moo glide and just let everyone run wild. It was CHAOS.

Here are a few tips if you are ever in a food fight. Always aim for the major holes in the head. These include the mouth, ears, and nose. These are perfect areas to deposit your weapon of choice. They each have their own pros and cons. You will have the most luck with the mouth as it is probably opened from talking or screaming. It is also the biggest opening so you can get the most bang for your buck. The nose is good because it is unexpected and with just a slight forward thrust of your palm you can move from the mouth to the nose and expertly compact a good few inches of material up both nasal cavities. I personally favor the ears as they make the most damaging impact. You can spit food out of your mouth, you can blow your nose, but your ears are just empty spots waiting to be filled. This also allows you to make a sneak attack from the side or back and be on your way before retribution can be given. Also, the ears offer the opportunity for a long lasting effect as it will take days for them to be properly cleaned out.

So we went at each other like crazy people and by the end of it I was covered head to toe in chum and such and my hair was a slick mess of moo glide with chunks of chum squished into my scalp.

So what do you do when you have 100 people covered in food? Call the fire department. We had one of the huge water trucks come out and spray us down. It was a blast. (pun not intended)

So if anyone wants to start a food fight with me, remember I am a professional with a detailed game plan.

69 Comments:

Blogger Edgy Mama said...

Wow, Katie. Inspired knowledge. I will be far, far away from you should there ever be fighting with food. And where can I get some Moo Glide? Sounds just the thing for my son's fourth birthday party.

8/11/2005 6:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my day is ruined!!!

8/11/2005 7:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8/11/2005 7:55 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

The spammers have hit!

K-T, are you covertly divuldging your recipe for shiny hair? Does this combination of Moo Glide, chum, and other unknown substances provide you with shiny locks?

Me thinks so....

8/11/2005 8:08 PM  
Blogger steve said...

Attention Blog readers! Do you want to have super silky hair? Does the tought of greasing your hands up with "Moo Glide" and putting your arms into a cow make ya say "Oh YEAH!! I'm SO there!!"
Ever had a real Dr. Pepper? a DUBLIN Dr. Pepper??? Dude Seriously...

8/12/2005 1:10 AM  
Blogger steve said...

you need MORE spammers KT

8/12/2005 1:11 AM  
Blogger Edge said...

Moo glide ... hmmmm ... interesting.

~jef

8/12/2005 8:39 AM  
Blogger JLR said...

eeeeeeeewwwwwww.


And I may have missed something here, but steve, are you knocking dp? because that's just not allowed.

8/12/2005 9:56 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Ok it seems SOMEONE has called my sweetness factor (not SWEEEEEEETNESS, but the gentle, kind part of my personality) into question with this post.

What is unsweet about a good ol food fight, I ask you.

What is unsweet about a product that helps in the birthing of a sweet baby cow?

What is unsweet about knowing the proper way to get the most impact in a food fight?

I will say please, thank you, yes and no ma'am/sir as I dunk you in a bucket of moo glide and then pelt you with handfulls of chum. I will also give you a gentle and tender smile and giggle as I run off to find my next victim. Now that's sweet and SWEEEEEEEEEEET.

8/12/2005 10:07 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

Katie...

Nasty, Nasty, Nasty....

So is the "Moo glide" what makes your hair "ridiculously shiny?"

Tell the truth... ;)

8/12/2005 10:08 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Actually JLR I think that Steve is a PEPSI lover. That is his POP of choice.

8/12/2005 10:09 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

Okay... after I read EVERYBODY else's comments... I am thinking... "Say something that EVERYBODY else hasn't Ben."

How unoriginal can I get?

Now... on the DP subject... Sydney is now into diet, vanilla, cherry, Dr. Pepper...

What's that all about? Let's toss as many things into a bucket and see what it tastes like... minus the sugar.

No. Thanks.

Crazy Dr. Pepper people.

8/12/2005 10:12 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Pantene is actually my hair product of choice. I did have moo glide in my hair at the Mess Fest but I did not notice any significant changes in the shine factor of my hair (it is all natural people, I just got lucky genes).

I have had barbasol shavin cream in my hair before and while it is disgusting for the short period of time it was in there, after shampooing my hair was very soft and for some reason guys really like the smell of barbasol hair. Go figure, but I got lots of compliments on it.

8/12/2005 10:15 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Ben we are in a fight now. You are NOT ALLOWED to bad mouth Dr. Pepper (in any of its amazing forms) in this forum. Bad be, bad bad Ben.

8/12/2005 10:29 AM  
Blogger jes said...

oh, kt. i think you've forgotten. we mixed the moo glide and then poured it into a kiddie pool, where the kids had to stop, drop, and roll in it before continuing to the slide.

we called it "the placenta."

8/12/2005 10:53 AM  
Blogger Eddo said...

For some reason I ALWAYS missed the Mess Fest. I think it must have been on a night when I was watching and recording Melrose Place or Models Inc.

Does anyone else remember Models Inc?

8/12/2005 11:01 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Jessica - I completely forgot about the placenta - we did have a kiddie pool, that was part of the obstacle course. But we also had the big trash can, because part of the trash can ended up on my head. Good times, good times.

8/12/2005 11:08 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

By the way, placenta is just the word I need to bring more crazies to my site. Thanks Jes for that little addition, I can't believe I forgot it with all the other key words.

8/12/2005 11:13 AM  
Blogger steve said...

we are SO fighting right now.

Did you just call me a pepsi lover??

For the record I am Dr. P all the way. Coke before Pepsi... RC Cola before Pepsi... The sweet milk of a goat straight from the tap before Pepsi (whoops...too far)

for Kt's sake (we are STILL fighting) I will say that Dr Pepper is my favorite COKE


KAtie you will have to copy and paste all of your search engine hits that this post generated. serious freaks will find you (ok... more serious then us)

8/12/2005 11:22 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Steve - ha ha ha, I couldn't help myself it was just too easy.

SupposiVely all northerns like Pepsi so I was just stating the obvous, DUDE seriously

8/12/2005 11:48 AM  
Blogger steve said...

thats DUEDE to you

(round 2... ding ding)

8/12/2005 11:57 AM  
Blogger jes said...

yeah, except oregon/washington aren't considered the "north." they're the pacific northwest.

northerners include everything east of the dakotas. like illinois, ohio, NY, maine, vermont, mass, etc.

8/12/2005 11:59 AM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

Maybe we need to send the northwesterners the Texas version of Dr. Pepper. Nectar of the gods.

8/12/2005 12:03 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

I think you lose all sweetness factor when talking about throwing chum at children. Chum is what they toss in the water to stir up the sharks. :)

8/12/2005 12:06 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Jessica - you're supposed to be on my side in this fight.

8/12/2005 12:08 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Pepsi is gross. Even worse than Dr. Pepper... but I would drink... how did Steve put it...."

"The sweet milk of a goat straight from the tap before Pepsi"

*Ahem...* or Dr. Pepper.

P.S.

Steve-

What was that about anyway? And where do you live that can get that straight from a tap?

8/12/2005 12:25 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Steve's not here to answer so I thought i would jump in for him (even though he says we're in a fight)

The tap he mentioned I believe is a codeword for UTTER. Now that brings up a bit more questions for good ol Steve and maybe a bit of explaination. That and the fact that after he drinks the goat milk I think he makes some leather type clothing from it.

(Ding, Ding, Ding Round three has begun) :)

8/12/2005 12:35 PM  
Blogger steve said...

I havent worn leather pants for about 5 years Katie... low blow.

I have already asked Katie to price out what it would cost to send me some REAL Dr.Pepper... its just unfair... thats liek saying you have "Super Crack" to a drug addict and not letting them smoke it. (my analogy thingy is really muddled today)

THANK YOU JES (steve 1, Katie -8)

Ben.. I ... just... cant...answer...that.. (and it scares me)

8/12/2005 12:46 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Steve - I had no idea you wear leather pants. What? I just thought you made a nice leather jacket or something. You WORE leather pants??????? Wow you think you know a person and then bam.

BTW you accidently inserted a negative sign in front of my 8 points. It should read Steve-1, Katie-8. I'm happy to make that correction for you.

8/12/2005 12:55 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

Um, Katie, it's spelled Udder. Unless you were talking about Bill Utter Ford.

And the "real" DP would be pretty pricey to ship, but a small price to pay for such blissfulness.

I finally bought my first 6-pack about 3 months ago, after hearing Tommy talk about it for 7+ years. It was like $6 at Central Market. Worth it? Yes.

8/12/2005 1:04 PM  
Blogger steve said...

soccer is better than football

8/12/2005 1:05 PM  
Blogger steve said...

YEAH WHAT SHE SAID!!

8/12/2005 1:06 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Ok I admit it's udder (see I can admit when I'm wrong)

Steve - I'm not even going to give weight to your comment by responding. I'm sticking my tongue out at you right now.

8/12/2005 1:11 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

way to handle it gracefully, KT. Maybe we should take up a collection at game night. Send these yankees some real DP!

8/12/2005 1:14 PM  
Blogger steve said...

Oh Amstaff dont try and give the low blow of "i get to go to game night"... I am hurting people. I am sensitive. I feel as if I am BEING HUNTED

8/12/2005 1:37 PM  
Blogger steve said...

SFDLYWKY!!!

8/12/2005 2:00 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Katie...

UTTER?

*Feels confident knowing the smart card will be safely in my hands for years to come.*

8/12/2005 2:06 PM  
Blogger steve said...

he said it... i didnt...

(smirks... high fives abound)

8/12/2005 2:11 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

I'm in a FIGHT with both Steve and Ben.

8/12/2005 3:02 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Half of the blogosphere is down, because Eddie ran out of bandwidth... now your pictures will not appear.

lol.

8/12/2005 3:09 PM  
Blogger steve said...

Im done fighting... you win

can I have Dr. Pepper mailed to me from Dublin now?

8/12/2005 3:11 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Don't worry steve I don't hold grudges and of course I will send you Dr P from Dublin, I might just send some to Ben because he loves it sooooo much.

8/12/2005 3:13 PM  
Blogger steve said...

Sweet!

(smirks.. high fives abound)

8/12/2005 3:14 PM  
Blogger Sydney said...

Oh where to begin when all has been said by everyone else..

Not much other than our youth group thought we were nasty.... they know not what else we can do!!!! Thanks for the great ideas Katie!!!

8/12/2005 3:15 PM  
Blogger Sydney said...

Go DR. PEPPER!!!!!

8/12/2005 3:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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8/12/2005 3:28 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Syd I'll send the DP with your name on it because you will appreciate it.

8/12/2005 4:01 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

I hear Dr. Pepper makes a pretty good toilet cleaner...

(Okay I haven't really heard this... but I am sure that this is surely a better use of Dr. Pepper then trying to quench one's thirst.)

Send a couple of extra bottles... so our toilet can be extra sparkly.

8/12/2005 4:09 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Ben I love that you are such a smartmouth.

8/12/2005 4:15 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

I can't ever be in a fight with you for long because you make me laugh so much (same goes for steve - you two are dangerous together)

8/12/2005 4:16 PM  
Blogger steve said...

ewwww...

what does that mean?

8/12/2005 4:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8/12/2005 4:20 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

and just like that, the fight is over.

*group hug*

8/12/2005 4:23 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

First off I HATE spam commenters, I wish lots of traffic and gross sores all over your bodies

Second - Steve, what does what mean?

Third - AM - we never stay mad long here

8/12/2005 4:27 PM  
Blogger steve said...

Ben and me.. err... "together"

(brief Homophobic moment... wont happen again)

8/12/2005 4:28 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

You went there I didn't . . . .

8/12/2005 4:30 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

See Steve... I have no worries about that...

1. I am married to a woman that I find very attractive... hence the 3 children and one on the way...

2. I always do the 3 slap on the back hug when I hug guys... the "I'm. Not. Gay." hug.

8/12/2005 4:35 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

BEN - If I could make that huge and red I would. Hello brother, you are calling me out on other blogs and talking smack and then you just saunter over here and comment like nothing's happening.

NO SIR.

That's it, we're in a real fight now.

8/12/2005 4:40 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

I'm getting SASSY up in here.

8/12/2005 4:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8/12/2005 4:41 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Check the time line... I said that when we were still in a fight. ;)

8/12/2005 4:43 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Mary, I already have a lawn tractor.

8/12/2005 4:43 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Speaking of time... I have to run...

My beautiful wife is at home... wondering when I am going to get there. lol.

8/12/2005 4:44 PM  
Blogger steve said...

Im.not.gay.
3 slap hug

Im done for the day!

8/12/2005 4:47 PM  
Blogger steve said...

Ben wins

i admit it

8/12/2005 4:47 PM  
Blogger jes said...

Ben you are so fiesty. Is that a normal personality trait or are you SUPER FEISTY on Fridays? Is it FEISTY FRIDAY up there in Canada? Eh?

8/13/2005 2:16 AM  
Blogger jes said...

yet another post "supposeVly" from me.

note the time, 2:16am. when katie was "sleeping" in my guest room.

8/13/2005 4:32 PM  
Blogger Jayleigh said...

Ewwwwww! Sounds like so much fun!

8/13/2005 9:55 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Jayleigh - The perfect two thoughts to put together for that night "Ewwwww" and "Fun".

8/13/2005 10:13 PM  

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