A little something special for the weekend
The newspaper crime report will read something like this:
A young Texas woman died yesterday after exposure to Cornuts. The specific cause of death is not being released at this time, but a police investigation is underway. Bystanders report that the victim was among what appeared to be a group of acquaintances. Suddenly the woman thrashed violently and collapsed. When bystanders rushed to give assistance they found the woman surrounded by bags of opened Cornuts. Police records indicate that various flavors including Original, Ranch, Garlic, Bar-B-Que, and Nacho Cheese were collected and marked as evidence.
Medical records indicate the victim did not have allergies that would cause such a reaction. The acquaintances were questioned and it was revealed that the incident was an elaborate prank on the victim because of her disdain for Cornuts. Unfortunately this prank has turned into a tragedy and a young life was loss.
Police have not pressed any charges but do confirm that they may soon charge the mob of so called friends with snack-icular homicide. While this charge has never been bought before the District Attorney has stated he can prove premeditation on the account of all participants in the prank and intends to pursue the charges to the full extent of the law.
Yep that’s how it will all end for me.
24 Comments:
Snack-ular Homicide? Can I be on the jury?
Snack-ular Homicide? Can I be on the jury?
snack-icular homicide!! Brilliant new word!
Also, I HATE, HATE, HATE cornuts. Cornuts are soooo friggin crunchy and stinky that I can't believe people actually eat them or even thought about selling them.
death by cornuts? You have to be kidding
Whewwwwh! All this time I have been playing cornut roulette with what I thought was a tasty although quite odd snack. Thanks for the warning so I wouldn't meet this same demise. What would the sentence be for those if they were found guilty? Would they have to spend years only able to snack on pork rinds?
Amstaff - yes you may be on the jury, because I think you would have my cornut back
Eddo - Amen brother.
Steve - Oh no, I am sooo serious. I'm surprised you can't tell that, was it something in my verbage, my tone. Man, why don't people take me serious on this stuff. Maybe that's why the government won't believe that I'm being spied on by the Russians because of my spy skills
Whaaaat! (had to get enough aaaaas in there) I'm not sure what the sentence would be, hmmmm I'll have to think about that.
Random Sidenote: As a child my dad would feed us pork rines and sardines as a meal. I will still eat sardines (I know, I know that is gross) but pork rines are a big no, no, not quite on the death scare level of cornuts but at least some major disfigurement or lasting internal injuries.
Julie - Avoid cornuts at all costs.
Julie - Dire consequences may occur when in the vicinity of cornuts.
if you put cornuts in your co-workers coffee mug, their coffee will taste like cornuts for a week or more.
just a little trivia for ya...
Amanda Sue - 1) I'm wondering how you came about to know this as fact, 2) I'm glad noone at my work reads this, 3)If anyone ever tainted my coffee with cornuts, coffee would be dead to me from then on and that would be sad
Speaking of cornuts... you are a cornut.
;)
Missed you too.
K-T,
http://www.planters.com/cornnuts/index.aspx?pn=WHATARETHEY
Did you know there was a CornNuts website? Complete with games, and such.
And I apologize in advance, but I can't stand overlooking the spelling anymore. It's CornNuts and Pork Rinds. (I get obsessive about these things). and SARDINES!?!?! Blech.
AM - I purposefully spell them incorrectly because they are so awful they do not even deserve my time and effort to make sure I am spelling them in a correct way. It is my way of thumbing my nose at the awful creation of these items.
Who would have thought that one little random crazy post would illicit such a response.
I think its the crazy postER that is getting the response there hotstuff....
and yes I am HOT
wait did i just post that, ummm I take it back, that was awkward and somehow just plain wrong.
Uhhh . . . . . . . no way to dig myself out of that hole.
So . . . . . anyone, help?
Thats how I choose to picture you...
I think its all that skirt posting?
bwah ha ha! KT/Steve. Y'all are cracking me up. In an awkward sort of way.
i just want to see katie thrashing violently. that sentence created such a funny image in my mind.
kt, will you thrash around at our next game night? if not, i'm totally serving cornnuts.
I can't wait to meet Katie, but Katie thrashing around violently sounds even more interesting. Sounds like a must-see to me. Maybe we can pass out CornNuts to the audience, instead of popcorn.
OH MY WORD - if there are CornNuts at game night, all you will see is the back of me as I run out the door.
Is steve hitting on Katie...? And was Katie flirting back...? and if some sort of relationship developed... where would you live? lol.
Ben is back in full force. Leave it to you to make the awkward comment of the day.
Missed you man.
Sorry to intrude... Great post, great template !
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