Friday, April 29, 2005

This is why people don't wash thier hands

I just walked into my normal stall and what did my eyes behold but a large piece of excrement. Or at least what my mind initially registered as excrement (poop for the unenlightened).

Why oh why is there excrement only inches from a nice large toilet bowl? My mind could not comprehend this. Then upon closer examination (no I did not actually get closer to it, I really just looked at it some more) I realized it was not excrement but in fact a wadded up wet cheap paper towel.

This leads me to a bone I have to pick with the public restroom gods. Why do you insist on purchasing a paper towel that is both a doodoo brown color and one that possess no drying aptitude what so ever.

Potty People these paper towels are worthless, WORTHLESS. The only purpose they serve is to move the water molecules around my hands until the act of friction actually causes the water to evaporate. There is no drying by way of removing the wetness going on here. You might as well slap up a slab of wood on the wall and let us all just rub our hands on it and let friction do the work.

Do they not realize that I take at least 5 of these paper products and just mash them up in my hands in a futile attempt to “dry” my hands with the final outcome being that I rub them on my shirt or pants or other such clothing so that the cloth on my body may do some sort of absorption activity. Come on spend a few more cents and buy the real thing, the actual paper that allows us to “dry” without causing a heat reaction.

Washing your hands should not require you to understand chemistry and physics to just get your hands dry. Anyone else with me on this?


Blogger jes said...

yuck. i hate those brown paper towels. i am SO with you.

and, i'm glad it wasn't excrement. if i had been there, surely i would have been gagging.

4/29/2005 2:33 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

I almost gagged but my brain thought faster than my throat could close.

4/29/2005 2:38 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

also, those kind of paper towels stink, so then you can SMELL them on your hands and that is really nasty.

4/29/2005 3:17 PM  
Blogger jes said...

but it's not as nasty as if you were actually wiping your hands on EXCREMENT.

just wanted to state the obvious.

4/29/2005 3:52 PM  
Blogger Sydney said...

Wow.... I must agree...
If I have the choice I head for the hand blow dryer... much more efficient though I hate the time that it takes.... sometimes... I confess I wipe my hands on my jeans... it's FASTER and IT GETS THEM DRY!

But on a side note I do have a beef with the public restroom Gods... The whole period juice on the seat with used tampon beside the toliet! Bad news.... I HATE PUBLIC BATHROOMS!

4/29/2005 4:26 PM  
Blogger Edgy Mama said...

Yeah, Katie, just wait til you have kids who want to visit every public bathroom in America. As Syd knows, they manage to put their hands on every surface you would never dream of touching. I turn into psycho mom. UGH! I carry hand sanitizer and wet wipes with me everywhere now.

4/29/2005 4:51 PM  
Blogger BeckoningChasm said...

It's been years since I encountered brown paper towells. The ones I see are white, and one actually does a good job of drying skin. Cleans glasses well too.

Now I'm going to have nightmares about what might have been. At least I can console myself when startled awake at 3AM by knowing it's only a dream.

4/29/2005 4:53 PM  
Anonymous Ben said...

Solution: Do what I do...

I don't wash them.


(OF COURSE I AM KIDDING! My biggest pet peave is sitting on the John and hearing someone walk out the door with out washing their hands and I want to yell, "WASH YOUR HANDS! YA LOSER!" But then I show some restraint... but I try to take note of who they are so I don't mistakenly shake their hand at a later date. N.A.S.T.Y)

4/29/2005 5:00 PM  
Blogger Eddo said...

Darn it. I read this on my Blackberry and I didn't get a chance to comment and I was going to say what Ben said, and I hate when I am so un-original - there is nothing worse than being unoriginal.

5/02/2005 10:44 AM  
Blogger Ben said...


I was original until you said that... and now I am unoriginal.


5/02/2005 11:54 AM  
Blogger jes said...

you are sooo welcome benjamin

5/03/2005 3:28 PM  

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