This is why people don't wash thier hands

I just walked into my normal stall and what did my eyes behold but a large piece of excrement. Or at least what my mind initially registered as excrement (poop for the unenlightened).

Why oh why is there excrement only inches from a nice large toilet bowl? My mind could not comprehend this. Then upon closer examination (no I did not actually get closer to it, I really just looked at it some more) I realized it was not excrement but in fact a wadded up wet cheap paper towel.

This leads me to a bone I have to pick with the public restroom gods. Why do you insist on purchasing a paper towel that is both a doodoo brown color and one that possess no drying aptitude what so ever.

Potty People these paper towels are worthless, WORTHLESS. The only purpose they serve is to move the water molecules around my hands until the act of friction actually causes the water to evaporate. There is no drying by way of removing the wetness going on here. You might as well slap up a slab of wood on the wall and let us all just rub our hands on it and let friction do the work.

Do they not realize that I take at least 5 of these paper products and just mash them up in my hands in a futile attempt to “dry” my hands with the final outcome being that I rub them on my shirt or pants or other such clothing so that the cloth on my body may do some sort of absorption activity. Come on spend a few more cents and buy the real thing, the actual paper that allows us to “dry” without causing a heat reaction.

Washing your hands should not require you to understand chemistry and physics to just get your hands dry. Anyone else with me on this?