Singlesness, Singleness is what I long for . . . . .
Singleness is what I need
Singleness, Singleness is what you want for me
Oh Lord
Ok so there may be some sort of blasphemy involved in taking a worship song and warping it in my brain to apply to my life today. But, then again, I'm actually being sincere.
See today is V-Day. Not Veteran's Day but good ol St. Val Day. Today is the day to show your special someone how much you love them, or in my case to ponder the absence of a special someone. Now SVD is a wonderful opportunity for all the single gals (and maybe guys) to let thier bitterness monster out and rip on the state of singleness. I must confess that there have been many a times that my own BM (bitterness monster not bowel movement) has burst forth with anger and frustration (again not bowel movement you sicko who is laughing). I have lamented the state of singleness, daydreamed about my prince charming, looked on with distain and pure hatred to all those lovey dovey couples who insist on talking baby talk in my presence, I've questioned what may be wrong with me, what may be wrong with him, I've questioned the what ifs, the what could have beens, the why in the worlds, I've done it all. (Note: the above was a horribly constructed sentence, it is in fact not even a sentence, but I am too much in the groove of thought to go back and attempt to correct it. So grammer cops allow me this one misstep.)
So I've deconstructed my entire dating life (or lack there of) and come to this conclusion:
I enjoy my singleness. I really do. I'm actually content in my current state of being. Not resigned, resignation means that you accept the status quo but not with a whole lot of happiness and you pretty much have given up and you just accept your fate. But not me, I am happy being single. I have tons of "me" time, my whole time is "me" time. I have the freedom to make decisions without weighing the consequences of my other half. I can go where I want to go, do what I want to do.
Now don't go thinking I want to be single for the rest of my life. I want to be married, I want to be a mother, I want to be a grandmother. I anticipate with joy the day that I will walk down the aisle and pledge my love, devotion, and life to another. I want to be a helpmate to my husband, I want to encourage and support him in all his life. I want to look into my child's eyes and have my heart swell with joy at this life that I am priviledged to mold and encourage.
But this is not my lot at the moment. I am exactly where I am supposed to be and experiencing all the things that singleness brings.
So much love to all my married friends, I am overwelmed with happiness that you have found your lifelong mate. Much love to all my single friends, enjoy this time in your life because singleness is a temporary state and is not returned to after marriage.
Happy Valentine's Day to all.
posted by Katie @ 9:53 AM
8 Comments:
and to you, too, KT.
*BTW: i was one of those sickos laughing. heehee!
Nicolle - thank you for the very unwarrented comments. If I did write a book I would title it "All the Wrong Moves" becasue I have done soooooo many things wrong. You and Jessica have even witnessed many of these things and the horror that they have caused. My biggest achievement may just be hanging in there and not giving up. Unfortunately the persistance has not been hard earned and a bumpy road along the way. Thank you for your sweet comments but check back in a few weeks and I may be lamenting the life of singleness and rueing the day I wrote this post, but let's hope not.
To prove that singlness is under attack check out this story in the USA today http://www.usatoday.com/life/lifestyle/2005-02-13-singles-and-society_x.htm
Here is a quote from it:
Even as the percentage of the population that has never been married has grown, being single is met with the whispers and raised eyebrows that once greeted divorced people. In today's coupling-at-all-costs culture, staying happily unmarried is akin to standing on the sidelines.
the same time, as the percentage of people who are divorced has risen steadily over the past 20 years, society's perception of divorce has changed dramatically, to the point where divorced, childless men and women are considered catches in some circles. The thinking goes as such: Divorced people have demonstrated they're capable of making a commitment; there's no confusion about their sexual orientation; and with their "starter marriages" out of the way, they can concentrate on real, lasting relationships.
It has gotten so that faced with two potential dating choices — a divorced thirtysomething or a never-married person of the same age — men and women will often opt for the former.
Why? Single-and-never-married has become synonymous with immature.
that's ridiculous. i actually know of several people, some at my very church, divorce because their spouse has been leading a double life as a homosexual. SO TAKE THAT, "there's-no-confusion-about-their-sexual-orientation."
on a different note, THAT'S A STUPID ARTICLE and may apply to the secular world, but doesn't hold a candlestick to the Christian dating/marriage/singleness realm. So just ignore them, KT. You don't want a part of all of that hub-a-loo anyhow.
so HMPH!
Jes - It was more to point out how warped the world in in regards to the stigma of singleness and the flexibility of marriage. I laughed at the arguement they put forth but wanted to show the "topic" of the day since it is Vday.
BTW - what in the *&%$#^*&_@ is a "starter marriage"? Who volunteers to be this guy or gal? If you need a "starter marriage" then you needed to be single longer.
Katie, my fellow ex-Cummings & Assoc. employee... before I even had a chance to snicker at the BM, I was caught a little off guard by the SVD (spontaneous vaginal delivery). I thought you should have had a little warning there as well...
Nikki - OH MY WORD (said in pure Nikkidom) your comment made me about fall out of my chair. Oh the memories of the joys of working for an OB/GYN. I have to say that I know more from working there then I may ever need.
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