Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Ask a question, or two, or twenty

I'm still playing principal (notice the "pal"), so my mind is henceforth focused on all things elementary such as: scraped knees, lost homework, running in the halls, and rained out lunch time at the playground. Therefore, I ask you, dear internet, to supply the direction for this post.

Ask me a question, any question, and I will answer it. Is there something you've always wanted to know? Is there something you just think would be fun to ask? Are you wondering what is behind curtain number 2?

Well just ask. It's up to you.

Peanut gallery participation is a must on this one.

230 Comments:

Blogger Older Twin said...

How important is the Dublin Dr. Pepper, and how close to Dublin do I need to go

5/02/2006 9:08 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Ha ha, thank you so much for the offer but I think I have it taken care of.

But just to educate you about all things Dublin Dr Pepper, to guarantee it came directly from the Dublin plant you would need to be within a 20 mile radius of Dublin. This "rule" was set up because that is how far a horse cart could travel round trip in one day.

Thanks Kristen, I'll swing it on my own but I appreciate the offer to make a "quick" run to the Dublin area.

5/02/2006 9:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If a cat chokes on a mouse while eating it and dies, who is the real murderer? Think about it.

5/02/2006 9:40 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Well Anon, I would say the cheese

5/02/2006 10:10 AM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

If you could live anywhere, where would live?

If you could meet one person of your choice that you don't know, who would it be?

If you could pick any job, what would you pick?

If you were to get a dog, what kind would you get?

Would you ever buy a truck?

Would you ever relocate out of the country for a job?

If you could memorize one book of the Bible, which would it be?

5/02/2006 11:27 AM  
Blogger Eric Stacey said...

A Father and son aer in a car accident. They are rushed to the hospital. The Father dies on the way, while the son is taken to the operating room. Later, the doctor comes in and says:"I can't operate on him, because he's my son" solve!

5/02/2006 11:28 AM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

The "father" was the grandfather of the "son". The doctor was the son of the grandfather and the father of the "son" in the operating room.

Am I right?

5/02/2006 11:34 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Wow, ok Jcol:

1. Somewhere with mountains and seasons, I like all four to be present in my life.

2. President Bush, he's been through so much in the last one and a half terms, i just want to pick his brain

3. Job? Hmmmm, if it is a career than I would say working in the White House (childhood dream), but in the future I would love to be a mom

4. Dog: big, goofy, most likely a lab or golden

5. truck? sure, but I probably wouldn't drive it everyday, i like to drive fast and trucks aren't always the best option for that

6. yes, I would move out of the country, an adventure like that sounds exciting

7. One book? Hmmm, the Psalms (ahahaha I didn't go easy on that one did I?)

5/02/2006 11:34 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Eric: the doctor is the mother


come on man, I LOVE logical puzzles, BRING IT ON

5/02/2006 11:34 AM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Here is one that is school-related:

"What four-letter verb is spelled the same but pronounced differently depending on whether it's in the present or past tense?"

5/02/2006 11:36 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Read

In present tense it is pronounced like the word reed and in past tense like red

5/02/2006 11:37 AM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Katie: I like my answer better. Yours is too...too...logical. Mine was much more complex. :P

5/02/2006 11:38 AM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Boo!

It is now my mission to come up with something that you cannot figure out in two minutes.

Cheater! :P

5/02/2006 11:39 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

ahaha, trust me that won't be too hard, I didn't cheat but as I said I LOVE logical puzzles so this is fun for me, test away

5/02/2006 11:42 AM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

"What starts with 'e' ends with 'e' and contains only one letter?"

5/02/2006 11:49 AM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

"Born at the same time as the world, destined to live as long as the world, and yet never five weeks old. What is it?"

5/02/2006 11:50 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

an envelope

5/02/2006 11:52 AM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

"What question can you never answer 'yes' to?"

5/02/2006 11:53 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

this next one is stumping me . . . . the moon, what is the lenght of the lunar cycle? like from new moon to full moon I'm guessing

5/02/2006 11:55 AM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Boo! You got it. The moon is right. (Cheater)

5/02/2006 11:56 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

i know there is probably a smart answer to this one but I would say the question you just asked

5/02/2006 11:56 AM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Wait...are you saying that you DON'T KNOW what question you can never say "yes" to?

5/02/2006 12:04 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

...because, you know, that would totally malke my day!

5/02/2006 12:05 PM  
Blogger Tim Rice said...

If you could visit any place in the world but only one place for a whole month, what place would that be?

Describe a favorite vacation spot.

When you were a child, did you dream a dream that you remember to this day?

5/02/2006 12:10 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

hmmm, ok "Are you dead?"

5/02/2006 12:10 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Tim:

One place: The British Isles (Scotland, Ireland, and England)

Fav Vacation Spot: Well I've honestly not been on a whole lot of vacations, but I love Washington D.C., there is so much to see and do there and it feeds my nerd-like-tendencies (but I lived there for a year so really would it be considered vacation worthy?)

Recurring dream: TO THIS DAY I still dream about skipping a class up until the day of the final and showing up with no idea what information would be covered, I was really serious about making good grades all through school so that dream about pushes me over the stress edge, funny that five plus years out of school and I still dream it and still wake up freaked out

5/02/2006 12:13 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Tragically, no.

The answer is: ARE YOU ASLEEP.

Haha! I won! Nanny-nanny-boo-boo!

5/02/2006 12:13 PM  
Blogger Bobby said...

You are one smart chick.

5/02/2006 12:15 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

So, uh, what's the weather like in Nebraska this time of the year?

:P

Okay, I'm going to lunch now...

5/02/2006 12:15 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

deals, i contend with that answer, because I for one talk in my sleep, and yes it has scared many a roommate, so i think that you could answer yes to that question (out of coincidence of course) but if you were dead, and truly dead, then you could of course not answer yes to that question

5/02/2006 12:15 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

thanks Bobby, I am in fact a very intelligent fluffy yellow creature, i can even play the piano with my beak

5/02/2006 12:15 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

and deals speaking of Nebraska, did you know that when the cornhuskers fill their stadium it exceeds the population of any city or town in the state of Nebraska?

5/02/2006 12:17 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Boo! Although I will concede that your answer does make some sense. Not a lot, mind you, but some. After all, no one asks someone if they are dead. People do ask people if they are asleep, however.

I talk in my sleep as well, but I rarely answer questions in a way that makes sense to anyone else. In fact, one particular roommate of mine and I used to have long, drawn-out conversations all night. We had no idea, until we had someone spend the night with us. Apparently, it was quite an animated exchange - completely nonsensical - but animated none-the-less.

5/02/2006 12:22 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Figures. You know you live in Nebraska when the maximum capacity of your stadium is more than the last census figures for the state!

You must get lonely...

5/02/2006 12:25 PM  
Blogger Eric Stacey said...

A petshop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage that said "Parrot repeats everything it hears". Davey bought the parrot and for 2 weeks he spoke to it and it didn't say a word. He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he never lied about the parrot. How can this be?

You got the first one, Katie, I knew you would-I seen it on an episode of m*a*s*h in the 80's-probably worked more back then, of course. You're a smart girl-it will be hard to stump ya, kiddo.

5/02/2006 12:33 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

the parrot was deaf


and thanks, not so sure on the smartness factor, but a good portion of my brain is held hostage by lots of random knowledge and non-sensical answers to trivial stuff

5/02/2006 12:35 PM  
Blogger whaaaat! said...

Knock, Knock

5/02/2006 12:37 PM  
Blogger steve said...

the parrot is deaf

5/02/2006 12:38 PM  
Blogger steve said...

get to work! Doesnt playing principal envolve MORE work?

5/02/2006 12:38 PM  
Blogger Tim Rice said...

Katie, the British Isles sounds like a fascinating place to spend a month. Switzerland or Australia would be rival competitors for me.

Even though you spent a year in Washington, D.C., that is always an eligible favorite vacation spot. So much to do and see there. I have a brother who works in D.C. Mine has been the state of Maine especially Acadia National Park and Baxter State Park. Great places for hiking and camping.

The dream you shared brought back to memory a dream that I had registered for a class and somehow could never find the classroom.

So what is your favorite category of literature and do you have a favorite book?

5/02/2006 12:39 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Whaat: Who's there?

Steve: Look at you trying to steal my brain teaser answering thunder . . . and I am working, well sort of, in fact I just rescued a third grader from a run away lunch box headed directly for his face

5/02/2006 12:41 PM  
Blogger whaaaat! said...

Boo!

5/02/2006 12:42 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Tim I'm a fan of all literature (thanks to my grandmother who encouraged me to read as a child), not sure if I have a favorite book, there is a special place in my heart for the entire collection of works by Jane Austen, but other than that I love books and will read most genres, I just like a good story

5/02/2006 12:43 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Whaat:

Boo who?

(Don't cry)

5/02/2006 12:43 PM  
Blogger whaaaat! said...

It's just deals on wheels getting stumped by katie again. Boo!

5/02/2006 12:45 PM  
Blogger Eric Stacey said...

Are you looking these up on the internet? Have you heard these before? Not fair.

5/02/2006 12:49 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Oooh, I love stump Katie day.

Imagine you are in a room with 3 switches. In adjacent room there are 3 bulbs (all are off at the moment), each switch belongs to some bulb. It is impossible to see from one room to another. How can you find out, which switch belongs to which bulb, if you may enter the room with bulbs only once?

5/02/2006 12:49 PM  
Blogger whaaaat! said...

Knock, Knock

5/02/2006 12:49 PM  
Anonymous jes said...

quick! what is 8 x 92?

5/02/2006 12:51 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Eric: ha, no I'm not looking them up (not yet at least), I've heard a few but most or just logical (and I'm a good guesser)

Whaat: Who's there?

5/02/2006 12:52 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Jes: 736

5/02/2006 12:54 PM  
Blogger whaaaat! said...

Whaaaat's up with asking me who's there. We're supposed to be asking you questions. : )

5/02/2006 12:54 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Heather: Hmmm, I'm thinking, let me work this out in my head

5/02/2006 12:54 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Heather - are all the switches in the same position? for instance all three up?

5/02/2006 1:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Yes, all the switches are in the same position.

5/02/2006 1:03 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

oh . . . . Heather, let's see if this will work, turn on all switches at the same time, after 10 seconds turn off switch number one, after another 10 seconds turn off switch number two, and then after another 10 seconds turn off switch number three, now go into the room and feel the bulbs, the hottest will be number three, the coolest number one, and the one inbetween will be number two

5/02/2006 1:04 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

Can you name a word that is its own antonym?

and Will I be Rich and Famous someday??

Logan

5/02/2006 1:04 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Logan - Hmmm let me think on the first one but in regards to the second, if rich means a life filled with things of great worth then yes, and if famous means that you will be important and known to those who care for you than of course, but if you mean will you will have a tv show about you with Robin Leach hosting, then well I just don't know

5/02/2006 1:12 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

You're on the right track, you just made it more difficult than it is. Turn one on, leave it on for a few minutes, turn it off. Turn on the next one, walk into the room, you have one that's on, one that's hot and one that's cold.

5/02/2006 1:15 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

Hmmm Cant say I know who Robin Leach is, but Katie my dearest Katie we have to be careful about carying on a conversation on here...... People seem to get a little jealous LOL Hahahah

5/02/2006 1:15 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

oh Logan, first it was the Fonze and now Robin Leach, what in the world kind of education did you get up there in Oregon? Did they not fill your head with useless knowledge of all things insignificant and yet pop culturish?

Robin Leach was the host of a television show called Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. He would take you to exotic places where people with more money than sense would have five pools in their enormous estates all plated in gold, yet they didn't swim because the chlorine would alter thier perfectly colored hair piece.

And who is getting jealous?

5/02/2006 1:19 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

OK, wait, wait, wait, Logan didn't know who the Fonze was? Not knowing Robin Leach is bad enough but you didn't know who the Fonze was? You may have to be disowned as an Oregonian.

5/02/2006 1:30 PM  
Blogger Luke said...

Me

5/02/2006 1:34 PM  
Blogger steve said...

I have talked to Logan about this and have beat him about the head and neck for not knowing the Fonz...

It makes me sick

5/02/2006 1:45 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

*shakes head in disbelief*

Smart, genius K-T. FORGOT THE MOST IMPORTANT COUNTRY IN THE BRITISH ISLES!!!!


AUGH!!!!!

My heritage CRIES OUT in disbelief.

5/02/2006 1:45 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

EEEEEEKKKKKKKK

sorry Jcol, and WALES, I must visit WALES

5/02/2006 1:47 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

and ahahaha, yes, Steve, beat Logan severly for not knowing the Fonze

and then tie him to a chair and make him watch hours upon hours of Happy Days (but you don't have to make him watch Joanie loves Chatchi)

5/02/2006 1:49 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Oh, KT, you are letting him off way too easily. I think "Joanie Loves Chachi" is the only appropriate disciplinary action for a case like this. And you call yourself acting principal!!

Thanks, Sporre. Could you hit him just one more time for good measure?

5/02/2006 2:00 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

Hey now you guys are so mean to me. I know the guy that does Life Styles of the Rich and Famous, but I didn't know the guys name... But you still have not answered my other question, have I stumped you?

Yes also we Oregonians were only educated in smartness. So my head is not filled with useless knowledge like Joni Loves Chatchi, whoever Joni and Chatchi is..... but hey whatever. I do have a friend coming down to live in Texas with you though I am sending my spies down there muhahahaha

5/02/2006 2:12 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

oh gosh LogDog I did forget your question, wait I have to go back and look

and who is venturing to the promised land of texas? Watch out, one thing about Texas, is once you get down here it's really hard to go back.

5/02/2006 2:18 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

My Brother Pat McQuistan Got Drafted to play for your Lovely Dallas Cowboys this weekend, His Twin Brother Paul McQuistan Got drafted to Play for Oakland Raiders

5/02/2006 2:21 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

oh wow, that's exciting, he gets to be part of "America's Team" (ahahahaa I know that anyone outside of Texas HATES that the Cowboys call themselves that)

5/02/2006 2:24 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

Well Yeah, I do not really like the Cowboys and I hate the Raiders, but hey Now that two of my brothers play for them, I love the Cowboys, and I love the Raiders

5/02/2006 2:27 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

yes but who will you love more when they play each other?

5/02/2006 2:28 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Whaaaat: I like to say "Boo!" Ghosts on Halloween shouldn't have all the fun.

Katie: What will I be when I grow up?

5/02/2006 2:28 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

Well when that happens probably the Raiders, since The Cowboys are kinda little wussies

5/02/2006 2:31 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Does anyone else think that it is somehow wrong that there are 70+ comments for this post?

(And that 40% of them have been made by Katie, herself)?

Hehe... :P

5/02/2006 2:32 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Deals, if by "up" you mean you reach your attained height goal of 6 feet you will be a professional basketball player in the WNBA (and if that doens't work than you will toil away on TLC competing in the World's Strongest Woman's contest where you will drag tractor trailers and bench press furniture)

but if by "up" you mean in age progression you will be a professional animal costume designer after starting your own line of dog clothes for gypsy kitty (who is in fact a dog although you confuse him(her?) by calling him(her?) a kitty)

but then again if you mean by "up" when you mature you will in fact becoming boring

5/02/2006 2:33 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


Logan, you are treading on a very slipperly slope, I may not be the biggest Cowboys fan (I prefer college football thankyouverymuch) but you have just insulted a sports team from Texas and as such will suffer great wrath upon yourself (and by the way HELLO your bro is like 300+ pounds so I may not be an intimidating threat but he could sit on you and kill you and you just insulted his new livelyhood)

5/02/2006 2:34 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

and deals, no nothing wrong

5/02/2006 2:35 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

1. Why is the so-called "World's Strongest Woman's Contest" on TLC? Shouldn't it be on ESPN or - at the very least - Foxx?

2. Can my animal costumes be on Animal Planet? Because I love Animal Planet.

3. Gypsy Kitty is a "she". Sheesh! And you obviously never read Bill Wallace...

4. Boring, huh?! Does that include Dental?

5. I'm like YEARS younger than you or something. You're 28, right? Yep, you are YEARS my SENIOR! Hehe...I just called you "senior".

5/02/2006 2:40 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Oh, and...

6. I'm an Eagles fan. The Cowboys ARE big wussies. Except this year they'll be big wussies with additude (haha...T.O.'s your problem now)!

5/02/2006 2:43 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

1. I don't make programming for TLC and maybe it is on ESPN, but only on one of the alternate ESPN's that my dish thinks I need (which by the way I DO when it is college football season but not when it is game and fishing season)

2. Yes I will allow that

3. You've named your dog as a cat and I am supposed to be able to identify it's gender? pshaw

4. Dental and vision, go for it, but it might be a big lifestyle change

5. and i'm betting that you are only able to say years because it is greater than one and less than three, so you are past the prime age of 25, welcome to the land of seniordom my young wipper snapper

5/02/2006 2:47 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

Hahahaha Katie Dear Katie, yes that may be true he is 300+ pounds close to 320, but I did say that the other one who plays for the raiders is his twin didn't I he is also 320 pounds, and I favored his team, so basically it will just be a standoff between two Giants With me and you getting smashed in the middle hahahahaha LOL

what is one word that has its own antonym?

5/02/2006 2:49 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

A Ha! And what if I'm not past the tender age of 25?

5/02/2006 2:50 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Senior, senior, senior!

5/02/2006 2:51 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

and Logan, I'm taking a guess but would this work for your question:

sanction?

5/02/2006 2:57 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Don't most words have an antonym? Isn’t the whole concept of “opposite” already built into most things? Even the word “antonym” has an “antonym”…

I’m missing the point, aren’t I?

5/02/2006 3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am just impressed that deals actually writes more in Katies comments then on her own blog...

5/02/2006 3:00 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

hmmm not the one that I was thinking of but Yeah I guess that would work, the one that I was thinking of is

Cleave

5/02/2006 3:03 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

Yes Deals you are right most words have an antonym but the words antonyms are usualy entirely different words,

Cleave is its own antonym so is sanction like Katie said,

But like Hot is the antonym of Cold, but they are not the same word

5/02/2006 3:05 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

yep that one works, to separate and to come together, the english language is just plain weird at times

5/02/2006 3:06 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

and deals if you are calling 28 old a think some of these commenters might take offense because I'm pretty sure I'm on the younger side of the average age around here

5/02/2006 3:07 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

ahhh yes katie but you are kinda old

5/02/2006 3:08 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Logan: Sigh...I suppose.

Anonymous: Hey! If I knew who you were I'd ignore you on purpose!

5/02/2006 3:09 PM  
Blogger steve said...

YOU CANT IGNORE ME!!!

5/02/2006 3:13 PM  
Blogger steve said...

97

5/02/2006 3:13 PM  
Blogger steve said...

98

5/02/2006 3:13 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Oh Logan . . . . . and yet you will not learn

Let's have a little school lesson . . .

Katie lives in Texas (geography)
Katie is 28 (math)
Because of distance from Texas to Oregon Katie by the laws of physics can offer little threat to one "old calling" Logan

Hmmm, who do we know who can overcome these laws of physics, OH YES

Steve lives in Oregon, in your town I believe (geography)
Steve is older than 28 (shhhh he's 36 but I'm not sure he's ready to accept this fact) (math)
Steve has the ability to throw his body upon yours on any given friday night and tackle to you the floor (physics)

Lesson: Be careful who you call old because there might be a much older person waiting in the wings to take you out for a comment like that

5/02/2006 3:13 PM  
Blogger steve said...

100

5/02/2006 3:14 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

and why is steve counting?

5/02/2006 3:14 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

ohhhhh, wait did I throw it off?

5/02/2006 3:15 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Yeah, Trevor is almost 30 and RR/JLR ARE 30...I'm just holding on to the fact that I wasn't born in the 1970s. Not that the 1980s were any better, mind you, but because it's all I have. I've always been the youngest (school, grade, etc.), but now I'm getting old and all that is changing.

I feel like Meg Ryan in WHEN HARRY MET SALLY when Sally is crying and says, "And I'm going to be 40!"

Harry: "When?"

Sally: "Someday!"

5/02/2006 3:15 PM  
Blogger steve said...

nope... i was actually perfect

isnt that a shocker

5/02/2006 3:16 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

well take a small delight that my someday will come YEARS before your someday

5/02/2006 3:16 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

Man, K-T is racking up the comments today! It's like the good ol' days!

Deals - How do you bold your comments? I don't know how to do that. Maybe because I'm OLD.

5/02/2006 3:16 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

ahahaha, congratulations you win the prize . . . . . drum roll please . . .

5/02/2006 3:17 PM  
Blogger steve said...

Katie turns her lil blog into a chat room so she gets more comments...

I see how she is

5/02/2006 3:18 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

P.S. ...and by 1980s, I mean I was born IN 1980. I didn't want you to think that I was born in 1989 and was a whopping 16 years old or something!

5/02/2006 3:19 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

Hahaha Yeah but stevie boy already knows he is an Old Kid, LoL someday there is going to be a loud scream and a flash of light and a rush of wind, and Logan is going to be on the ground knocked down by a screaming bullet called steve running from the sidelines tackling logan down to the ground while he is preaching

5/02/2006 3:20 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

Jubal *shakes head*.

Deals! I still can't believe you WEREN'T born in the 70's. Because that's when all the cool people were born. And you're cool. OK, neither was my sis, and she's cool too. But y'all are the exceptions.

I'm so glad I can share my pain with JLR/RR and Trevor. THEY understand. And Eddo too, but he's the year before me.

5/02/2006 3:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chapter 1
War and Peace - by Leo Tolstoy

Book One: 1805. Chapter I
"Well, Prince, so Genoa and Lucca are now just family estates of the Buonapartes. But I warn you, if you don't tell me that this means war, if you still try to defend the infamies and horrors perpetrated by that Antichrist- I really believe he is Antichrist- I will have nothing more to do with you and you are no longer my friend, no longer my 'faithful slave,' as you call yourself! But how do you do? I see I have frightened you- sit down and tell me all the news."

It was in July, 1805, and the speaker was the well-known Anna Pavlovna Scherer, maid of honor and favorite of the Empress Marya Fedorovna. With these words she greeted Prince Vasili Kuragin, a man of high rank and importance, who was the first to arrive at her reception. Anna Pavlovna had had a cough for some days. She was, as she said, suffering from la grippe; grippe being then a new word in St. Petersburg, used only by the elite.

All her invitations without exception, written in French, and delivered by a scarlet-liveried footman that morning, ran as follows:

"If you have nothing better to do, Count [or Prince], and if the prospect of spending an evening with a poor invalid is not too terrible, I shall be very charmed to see you tonight between 7 and 10- Annette Scherer."

"Heavens! what a virulent attack!" replied the prince, not in the least disconcerted by this reception. He had just entered, wearing an embroidered court uniform, knee breeches, and shoes, and had stars on his breast and a serene expression on his flat face. He spoke in that refined French in which our grandfathers not only spoke but thought, and with the gentle, patronizing intonation natural to a man of importance who had grown old in society and at court. He went up to Anna Pavlovna, kissed her hand, presenting to her his bald, scented, and shining head, and complacently seated himself on the sofa.

"First of all, dear friend, tell me how you are. Set your friend's mind at rest," said he without altering his tone, beneath the politeness and affected sympathy of which indifference and even irony could be discerned.

"Can one be well while suffering morally? Can one be calm in times like these if one has any feeling?" said Anna Pavlovna. "You are staying the whole evening, I hope?"

"And the fete at the English ambassador's? Today is Wednesday. I must put in an appearance there," said the prince. "My daughter is coming for me to take me there."

"I thought today's fete had been canceled. I confess all these festivities and fireworks are becoming wearisome."

"If they had known that you wished it, the entertainment would have been put off," said the prince, who, like a wound-up clock, by force of habit said things he did not even wish to be believed.

"Don't tease! Well, and what has been decided about Novosiltsev's dispatch? You know everything."

"What can one say about it?" replied the prince in a cold, listless tone. "What has been decided? They have decided that Buonaparte has burnt his boats, and I believe that we are ready to burn ours."

Prince Vasili always spoke languidly, like an actor repeating a stale part. Anna Pavlovna Scherer on the contrary, despite her forty years, overflowed with animation and impulsiveness. To be an enthusiast had become her social vocation and, sometimes even when she did not feel like it, she became enthusiastic in order not to disappoint the expectations of those who knew her. The subdued smile which, though it did not suit her faded features, always played round her lips expressed, as in a spoiled child, a continual consciousness of her charming defect, which she neither wished, nor could, nor considered it necessary, to correct.

In the midst of a conversation on political matters Anna Pavlovna burst out:

"Oh, don't speak to me of Austria. Perhaps I don't understand things, but Austria never has wished, and does not wish, for war. She is betraying us! Russia alone must save Europe. Our gracious sovereign recognizes his high vocation and will be true to it. That is the one thing I have faith in! Our good and wonderful sovereign has to perform the noblest role on earth, and he is so virtuous and noble that God will not forsake him. He will fulfill his vocation and crush the hydra of revolution, which has become more terrible than ever in the person of this murderer and villain! We alone must avenge the blood of the just one.... Whom, I ask you, can we rely on?... England with her commercial spirit will not and cannot understand the Emperor Alexander's loftiness of soul. She has refused to evacuate Malta. She wanted to find, and still seeks, some secret motive in our actions. What answer did Novosiltsev get? None. The English have not understood and cannot understand the self-abnegation of our Emperor who wants nothing for himself, but only desires the good of mankind. And what have they promised? Nothing! And what little they have promised they will not perform! Prussia has always declared that Buonaparte is invincible, and that all Europe is powerless before him.... And I don't believe a word that Hardenburg says, or Haugwitz either. This famous Prussian neutrality is just a trap. I have faith only in God and the lofty destiny of our adored monarch. He will save Europe!"

She suddenly paused, smiling at her own impetuosity.

"I think," said the prince with a smile, "that if you had been sent instead of our dear Wintzingerode you would have captured the King of Prussia's consent by assault. You are so eloquent. Will you give me a cup of tea?"

"In a moment. A propos," she added, becoming calm again, "I am expecting two very interesting men tonight, le Vicomte de Mortemart, who is connected with the Montmorencys through the Rohans, one of the best French families. He is one of the genuine emigres, the good ones. And also the Abbe Morio. Do you know that profound thinker? He has been received by the Emperor. Had you heard?"

"I shall be delighted to meet them," said the prince. "But tell me," he added with studied carelessness as if it had only just occurred to him, though the question he was about to ask was the chief motive of his visit, "is it true that the Dowager Empress wants Baron Funke to be appointed first secretary at Vienna? The baron by all accounts is a poor creature."

Prince Vasili wished to obtain this post for his son, but others were trying through the Dowager Empress Marya Fedorovna to secure it for the baron.

Anna Pavlovna almost closed her eyes to indicate that neither she nor anyone else had a right to criticize what the Empress desired or was pleased with.

"Baron Funke has been recommended to the Dowager Empress by her sister," was all she said, in a dry and mournful tone.

As she named the Empress, Anna Pavlovna's face suddenly assumed an expression of profound and sincere devotion and respect mingled with sadness, and this occurred every time she mentioned her illustrious patroness. She added that Her Majesty had deigned to show Baron Funke beaucoup d'estime, and again her face clouded over with sadness.

The prince was silent and looked indifferent. But, with the womanly and courtierlike quickness and tact habitual to her, Anna Pavlovna wished both to rebuke him (for daring to speak he had done of a man recommended to the Empress) and at the same time to console him, so she said:

"Now about your family. Do you know that since your daughter came out everyone has been enraptured by her? They say she is amazingly beautiful."

The prince bowed to signify his respect and gratitude.

"I often think," she continued after a short pause, drawing nearer to the prince and smiling amiably at him as if to show that political and social topics were ended and the time had come for intimate conversation- "I often think how unfairly sometimes the joys of life are distributed. Why has fate given you two such splendid children? I don't speak of Anatole, your youngest. I don't like him," she added in a tone admitting of no rejoinder and raising her eyebrows. "Two such charming children. And really you appreciate them less than anyone, and so you don't deserve to have them."

And she smiled her ecstatic smile.

"I can't help it," said the prince. "Lavater would have said I lack the bump of paternity."

"Don't joke; I mean to have a serious talk with you. Do you know I am dissatisfied with your younger son? Between ourselves" (and her face assumed its melancholy expression), "he was mentioned at Her Majesty's and you were pitied...."

The prince answered nothing, but she looked at him significantly, awaiting a reply. He frowned.

"What would you have me do?" he said at last. "You know I did all a father could for their education, and they have both turned out fools. Hippolyte is at least a quiet fool, but Anatole is an active one. That is the only difference between them." He said this smiling in a way more natural and animated than usual, so that the wrinkles round his mouth very clearly revealed something unexpectedly coarse and unpleasant.

"And why are children born to such men as you? If you were not a father there would be nothing I could reproach you with," said Anna Pavlovna, looking up pensively.

"I am your faithful slave and to you alone I can confess that my children are the bane of my life. It is the cross I have to bear. That is how I explain it to myself. It can't be helped!"

He said no more, but expressed his resignation to cruel fate by a gesture. Anna Pavlovna meditated.

"Have you never thought of marrying your prodigal son Anatole?" she asked. "They say old maids have a mania for matchmaking, and though I don't feel that weakness in myself as yet,I know a little person who is very unhappy with her father. She is a relation of yours, Princess Mary Bolkonskaya."

Prince Vasili did not reply, though, with the quickness of memory and perception befitting a man of the world, he indicated by a movement of the head that he was considering this information.

"Do you know," he said at last, evidently unable to check the sad current of his thoughts, "that Anatole is costing me forty thousand rubles a year? And," he went on after a pause, "what will it be in five years, if he goes on like this?" Presently he added: "That's what we fathers have to put up with.... Is this princess of yours rich?"

"Her father is very rich and stingy. He lives in the country. He is the well-known Prince Bolkonski who had to retire from the army under the late Emperor, and was nicknamed 'the King of Prussia.' He is very clever but eccentric, and a bore. The poor girl is very unhappy. She has a brother; I think you know him, he married Lise Meinen lately. He is an aide-de-camp of Kutuzov's and will be here tonight."

"Listen, dear Annette," said the prince, suddenly taking Anna Pavlovna's hand and for some reason drawing it downwards. "Arrange that affair for me and I shall always be your most devoted slave- slafe wigh an f, as a village elder of mine writes in his reports. She is rich and of good family and that's all I want."

And with the familiarity and easy grace peculiar to him, he raised the maid of honor's hand to his lips, kissed it, and swung it to and fro as he lay back in his armchair, looking in another direction.

"Attendez," said Anna Pavlovna, reflecting, "I'll speak to Lise, young Bolkonski's wife, this very evening, and perhaps the thing can be arranged. It shall be on your family's behalf that I'll start my apprenticeship as old maid."

5/02/2006 3:22 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

and amstaff when you say good ole days what exactly do you mean by that??

5/02/2006 3:22 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

AM: All you have to do is use the < and the > - except put a "b" (minus the "" between the < and the > without any spaces). Then you close it out with a < and a / and another letter "b" (minus the "") followed by another >. And there you have it.

It is much, much more complicated to discribe this in a way that won't automatically be converted into HTML tags...

5/02/2006 3:24 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Oh, I forgot, you put what you want in BOLD between the first < and > and the second < and / and >.

Got it?

5/02/2006 3:25 PM  
Blogger steve said...

SWEET

5/02/2006 3:25 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

And what I meant by Jubal *shakes head* is that I was saying his name and shaking my head. Because he called himself perfect.

Obviously I'm NOT perfect because I made it sound like Jubal was shaking his head, which he COULD be, but I don't know that.

Are you shaking your head Jubal? Probably at this point.

raezdr - K-T Rae's Dr.?

5/02/2006 3:25 PM  
Blogger steve said...

can we start talking about chapter one of WAR AND PEACE (r if I am like DEALS WAR AND PEACE

5/02/2006 3:26 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Ahahaha, yes LogDog is also a child of the 80's and by 80's I don't mean 1980

and who is Anon? War and Peach? ahahaha, I'm being brought back to my high school reading

5/02/2006 3:27 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

deals. please. you SO lost me.

*sigh*

old.

5/02/2006 3:27 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Hey! Bolding things is cool. If you were born in the 1980s you'd understand that! :P

5/02/2006 3:28 PM  
Blogger steve said...

OUCH!!! OUCH!!!!

5/02/2006 3:29 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

ahahahahaha

Sure I'm a fan of literary analysis

NERD

5/02/2006 3:29 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

AHAHAHAHAHA

5/02/2006 3:30 PM  
Blogger steve said...

OUCH!!!

5/02/2006 3:30 PM  
Blogger steve said...

OUCH!!??

5/02/2006 3:31 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

jcol look at the top of the comment box where it says

You can use some HTML tags, such as

Then take exactly what you see, put it at the beginning of a word and then at the end of a word, except on the second part add an / after the < and before the b

5/02/2006 3:33 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

and steve are you hurt? or is OUCH the chosen word to show off your htmling skills?

5/02/2006 3:34 PM  
Blogger steve said...

Ok I am bored at work and am going outside to play disc golf instead!

BA ByE

5/02/2006 3:34 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

obvioulsy we were not entertaining enough to keep steve around

5/02/2006 3:35 PM  
Blogger steve said...

no deals stung me with "If you were born in the 80s and NOT the 70's" line...

so OUCH!!! was for her

5/02/2006 3:36 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

wait steve you were born in the 70's?

5/02/2006 3:37 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

:)

5/02/2006 3:37 PM  
Blogger steve said...

and tell OLDER TWIN that Dublin Dr PEpper is VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT^!!!

5/02/2006 3:38 PM  
Blogger steve said...

ok THE 70...

5/02/2006 3:38 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

Nah steve is just mad that we are so cool everybody wants to talk to us LOL

5/02/2006 3:38 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

Yeah the 80's were the coolest

5/02/2006 3:39 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

oh well is it bad that I actually thought you were born in 69?


and Logan, yes the 80's were cool for those of us who REMEMBER them

5/02/2006 3:41 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Hehe...I just missed Steve getting mad at me because I was busy sending an email to AM to teach her how to BOLD properly.

See, Katie! It's hard to tell someone how to BOLD in a way that the comments don't try to turn your lesson INTO BOLD...

5/02/2006 3:43 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

well I would have to say that the 80's were not really that cool to remember but they were cool to be born in

5/02/2006 3:43 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

I don't remember the 80s. I was too young...

5/02/2006 3:44 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

me to deals, in fact you are older then me

5/02/2006 3:47 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

show offs!

5/02/2006 3:47 PM  
Blogger Lorie said...

I have nothing to say, but I wanted to be part of all this commenting action... :)

5/02/2006 3:48 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Logan: Only in theory...

5/02/2006 3:48 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

who's the showoff now?

5/02/2006 3:49 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Hi Lorie, feel free to jump into the maddness

5/02/2006 3:49 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Yey! AM learned how to BOLD!!

5/02/2006 3:49 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

I might be old but at least I have smarts

5/02/2006 3:50 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

AM: You should have said, "I may be old but I know how to BOLD"

5/02/2006 3:51 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

(and italicize...)

5/02/2006 3:52 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

150!!! you have 150 comments!

what does the a do?

test

5/02/2006 3:53 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

let's not push things at this point Deals. 1 baby step at a time.

5/02/2006 3:54 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

HTML experimentation a la Katie's BLOG. Fantastic!

5/02/2006 3:54 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

ha ha we've created a monster in JCol

and the a is a way to put a link in your comment

5/02/2006 3:54 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

and I must admit that I am sitting here reading the first chapter of War and Peace wishing I had all the other chapters to read through

I know, I know, I have a validated nerd card right here in my hands

5/02/2006 3:56 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Okay, I'm off to a staff meeting...

5/02/2006 3:56 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

Wow you guys are crazy, Katie is your comments always like this, or does this happen only when I come around and cause trouble

5/02/2006 3:58 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

bye deals!

5/02/2006 4:06 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Now LogDog you can't be calling me old, making fun of my state, and then trying to gank my comment-thunder

ahahaha, this is NOT normal in these parts but I'm not complaining

5/02/2006 4:07 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

hahahaha oops I am just an instigator

5/02/2006 4:10 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

yes you instigate quite well youngin

5/02/2006 4:18 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

Hahahaha God made me that way, it spices up peoples lives

5/02/2006 4:20 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Katie: Logan "ganked" your "comment-thunder"? Really? Ganked? Is this your version of my pink/pig tail error? You meant "yanked", yes?

Hehe...

5/02/2006 5:27 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Sorry...I thought I'd comment ONCE MORE just to make it an even (or odd, actually) 165.

You should have had the foresight to name this post, "Ask a question, or two, or a hundred and fifty"!

5/02/2006 5:29 PM  
Blogger Tim Rice said...

Thanks for all the entertainment! :)

5/02/2006 5:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chapter 2
War and Peace - by Leo Tolstoy

Book One: 1805. Chapter II
Anna Pavlovna's drawing room was gradually filling. The highest Petersburg society was assembled there: people differing widely in age and character but alike in the social circle to which they belonged. Prince Vasili's daughter, the beautiful Helene, came to take her father to the ambassador's entertainment; she wore a ball dress and her badge as maid of honor. The youthful little Princess Bolkonskaya, known as la femme la plus seduisante de Petersbourg,* was also there. She had been married during the previous winter, and being pregnant did not go to any large gatherings, but only to small receptions. Prince Vasili's son, Hippolyte, had come with Mortemart, whom he introduced. The Abbe Morio and many others had also come.

*The most fascinating woman in Petersburg.

To each new arrival Anna Pavlovna said, "You have not yet seen my aunt," or "You do not know my aunt?" and very gravely conducted him or her to a little old lady, wearing large bows of ribbon in her cap, who had come sailing in from another room as soon as the guests began to arrive; and slowly turning her eyes from the visitor to her aunt, Anna Pavlovna mentioned each one's name and then left them.

Each visitor performed the ceremony of greeting this old aunt whom not one of them knew, not one of them wanted to know, and not one of them cared about; Anna Pavlovna observed these greetings with mournful and solemn interest and silent approval. The aunt spoke to each of them in the same words, about their health and her own, and the health of Her Majesty, "who, thank God, was better today." And each visitor, though politeness prevented his showing impatience, left the old woman with a sense of relief at having performed a vexatious duty and did not return to her the whole evening.

The young Princess Bolkonskaya had brought some work in a gold-embroidered velvet bag. Her pretty little upper lip, on which a delicate dark down was just perceptible, was too short for her teeth, but it lifted all the more sweetly, and was especially charming when she occasionally drew it down to meet the lower lip. As is always the case with a thoroughly attractive woman, her defect- the shortness of her upper lip and her half-open mouth- seemed to be her own special and peculiar form of beauty. Everyone brightened at the sight of this pretty young woman, so soon to become a mother, so full of life and health, and carrying her burden so lightly. Old men and dull dispirited young ones who looked at her, after being in her company and talking to her a little while, felt as if they too were becoming, like her, full of life and health. All who talked to her, and at each word saw her bright smile and the constant gleam of her white teeth, thought that they were in a specially amiable mood that day.

The little princess went round the table with quick, short, swaying steps, her workbag on her arm, and gaily spreading out her dress sat down on a sofa near the silver samovar, as if all she was doing was a pleasure to herself and to all around her. "I have brought my work," said she in French, displaying her bag and addressing all present. "Mind, Annette, I hope you have not played a wicked trick on me," she added, turning to her hostess. "You wrote that it was to be quite a small reception, and just see how badly I am dressed." And she spread out her arms to show her short-waisted, lace-trimmed, dainty gray dress, girdled with a broad ribbon just below the breast.

"Soyez tranquille, Lise, you will always be prettier than anyone else," replied Anna Pavlovna.

"You know," said the princess in the same tone of voice and still in French, turning to a general, "my husband is deserting me? He is going to get himself killed. Tell me what this wretched war is for?" she added, addressing Prince Vasili, and without waiting for an answer she turned to speak to his daughter, the beautiful Helene.

"What a delightful woman this little princess is!" said Prince Vasili to Anna Pavlovna.

One of the next arrivals was a stout, heavily built young man with close-cropped hair, spectacles, the light-colored breeches fashionable at that time, a very high ruffle, and a brown dress coat. This stout young man was an illegitimate son of Count Bezukhov, a well-known grandee of Catherine's time who now lay dying in Moscow. The young man had not yet entered either the military or civil service, as he had only just returned from abroad where he had been educated, and this was his first appearance in society. Anna Pavlovna greeted him with the nod she accorded to the lowest hierarchy in her drawing room. But in spite of this lowest-grade greeting, a look of anxiety and fear, as at the sight of something too large and unsuited to the place, came over her face when she saw Pierre enter. Though he was certainly rather bigger than the other men in the room, her anxiety could only have reference to the clever though shy, but observant and natural, expression which distinguished him from everyone else in that drawing room.

"It is very good of you, Monsieur Pierre, to come and visit a poor invalid," said Anna Pavlovna, exchanging an alarmed glance with her aunt as she conducted him to her.

Pierre murmured something unintelligible, and continued to look round as if in search of something. On his way to the aunt he bowed to the little princess with a pleased smile, as to an intimate acquaintance.

Anna Pavlovna's alarm was justified, for Pierre turned away from the aunt without waiting to hear her speech about Her Majesty's health. Anna Pavlovna in dismay detained him with the words: "Do you know the Abbe Morio? He is a most interesting man."

"Yes, I have heard of his scheme for perpetual peace, and it is very interesting but hardly feasible."

"You think so?" rejoined Anna Pavlovna in order to say something and get away to attend to her duties as hostess. But Pierre now committed a reverse act of impoliteness. First he had left a lady before she had finished speaking to him, and now he continued to speak to another who wished to get away. With his head bent, and his big feet spread apart, he began explaining his reasons for thinking the abbe's plan chimerical.

"We will talk of it later," said Anna Pavlovna with a smile.

And having got rid of this young man who did not know how to behave, she resumed her duties as hostess and continued to listen and watch, ready to help at any point where the conversation might happen to flag. As the foreman of a spinning mill, when he has set the hands to work, goes round and notices here a spindle that has stopped or there one that creaks or makes more noise than it should, and hastens to check the machine or set it in proper motion, so Anna Pavlovna moved about her drawing room, approaching now a silent, now a too-noisy group, and by a word or slight rearrangement kept the conversational machine in steady, proper, and regular motion. But amid these cares her anxiety about Pierre was evident. She kept an anxious watch on him when he approached the group round Mortemart to listen to what was being said there, and again when he passed to another group whose center was the abbe.

Pierre had been educated abroad, and this reception at Anna Pavlovna's was the first he had attended in Russia. He knew that all the intellectual lights of Petersburg were gathered there and, like a child in a toyshop, did not know which way to look, afraid of missing any clever conversation that was to be heard. Seeing the self-confident and refined expression on the faces of those present he was always expecting to hear something very profound. At last he came up to Morio. Here the conversation seemed interesting and he stood waiting for an opportunity to express his own views, as young people are fond of doing.

5/02/2006 6:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chapter 3
War and Peace - by Leo Tolstoy

Book One: 1805. Chapter III
Anna Pavlovna's reception was in full swing. The spindles hummed steadily and ceaselessly on all sides. With the exception of the aunt, beside whom sat only one elderly lady, who with her thin careworn face was rather out of place in this brilliant society, the whole company had settled into three groups. One, chiefly masculine, had formed round the abbe. Another, of young people, was grouped round the beautiful Princess Helene, Prince Vasili's daughter, and the little Princess Bolkonskaya, very pretty and rosy, though rather too plump for her age. The third group was gathered round Mortemart and Anna Pavlovna.

The vicomte was a nice-looking young man with soft features and polished manners, who evidently considered himself a celebrity but out of politeness modestly placed himself at the disposal of the circle in which he found himself. Anna Pavlovna was obviously serving him up as a treat to her guests. As a clever maitre d'hotel serves up as a specially choice delicacy a piece of meat that no one who had seen it in the kitchen would have cared to eat, so Anna Pavlovna served up to her guests, first the vicomte and then the abbe, as peculiarly choice morsels. The group about Mortemart immediately began discussing the murder of the Duc d'Enghien. The vicomte said that the Duc d'Enghien had perished by his own magnanimity, and that there were particular reasons for Buonaparte's hatred of him.

"Ah, yes! Do tell us all about it, Vicomte," said Anna Pavlovna, with a pleasant feeling that there was something a la Louis XV in the sound of that sentence: "Contez nous cela, Vicomte."

The vicomte bowed and smiled courteously in token of his willingness to comply. Anna Pavlovna arranged a group round him, inviting everyone to listen to his tale.

"The vicomte knew the duc personally," whispered Anna Pavlovna to of the guests. "The vicomte is a wonderful raconteur," said she to another. "How evidently he belongs to the best society," said she to a third; and the vicomte was served up to the company in the choicest and most advantageous style, like a well-garnished joint of roast beef on a hot dish.

The vicomte wished to begin his story and gave a subtle smile.

"Come over here, Helene, dear," said Anna Pavlovna to the beautiful young princess who was sitting some way off, the center of another group.

The princess smiled. She rose with the same unchanging smile with which she had first entered the room- the smile of a perfectly beautiful woman. With a slight rustle of her white dress trimmed with moss and ivy, with a gleam of white shoulders, glossy hair, and sparkling diamonds, she passed between the men who made way for her, not looking at any of them but smiling on all, as if graciously allowing each the privilege of admiring her beautiful figure and shapely shoulders, back, and bosom- which in the fashion of those days were very much exposed- and she seemed to bring the glamour of a ballroom with her as she moved toward Anna Pavlovna. Helene was so lovely that not only did she not show any trace of coquetry, but on the contrary she even appeared shy of her unquestionable and all too victorious beauty. She seemed to wish, but to be unable, to diminish its effect.

"How lovely!" said everyone who saw her; and the vicomte lifted his shoulders and dropped his eyes as if startled by something extraordinary when she took her seat opposite and beamed upon him also with her unchanging smile.

"Madame, I doubt my ability before such an audience," said he, smilingly inclining his head.

The princess rested her bare round arm on a little table and considered a reply unnecessary. She smilingly waited. All the time the story was being told she sat upright, glancing now at her beautiful round arm, altered in shape by its pressure on the table, now at her still more beautiful bosom, on which she readjusted a diamond necklace. From time to time she smoothed the folds of her dress, and whenever the story produced an effect she glanced at Anna Pavlovna, at once adopted just the expression she saw on the maid of honor's face, and again relapsed into her radiant smile.

The little princess had also left the tea table and followed Helene.

"Wait a moment, I'll get my work.... Now then, what are you thinking of?" she went on, turning to Prince Hippolyte. "Fetch me my workbag."

There was a general movement as the princess, smiling and talking merrily to everyone at once, sat down and gaily arranged herself in her seat.

"Now I am all right," she said, and asking the vicomte to begin, she took up her work.

Prince Hippolyte, having brought the workbag, joined the circle and moving a chair close to hers seated himself beside her.

Le charmant Hippolyte was surprising by his extraordinary resemblance to his beautiful sister, but yet more by the fact that in spite of this resemblance he was exceedingly ugly. His features were like his sister's, but while in her case everything was lit up by a joyous, self-satisfied, youthful, and constant smile of animation, and by the wonderful classic beauty of her figure, his face on the contrary was dulled by imbecility and a constant expression of sullen self-confidence, while his body was thin and weak. His eyes, nose, and mouth all seemed puckered into a vacant, wearied grimace, and his arms and legs always fell into unnatural positions.

"It's not going to be a ghost story?" said he, sitting down beside the princess and hastily adjusting his lorgnette, as if without this instrument he could not begin to speak.

"Why no, my dear fellow," said the astonished narrator, shrugging his shoulders.

"Because I hate ghost stories," said Prince Hippolyte in a tone which showed that he only understood the meaning of his words after he had uttered them.

He spoke with such self-confidence that his hearers could not be sure whether what he said was very witty or very stupid. He was dressed in a dark-green dress coat, knee breeches of the color of cuisse de nymphe effrayee, as he called it, shoes, and silk stockings.

The vicomte told his tale very neatly. It was an anecdote, then current, to the effect that the Duc d'Enghien had gone secretly to Paris to visit Mademoiselle George; that at her house he came upon Bonaparte, who also enjoyed the famous actress' favors, and that in his presence Napoleon happened to fall into one of the fainting fits to which he was subject, and was thus at the duc's mercy. The latter spared him, and this magnanimity Bonaparte subsequently repaid by death.

The story was very pretty and interesting, especially at the point where the rivals suddenly recognized one another; and the ladies looked agitated.

"Charming!" said Anna Pavlovna with an inquiring glance at the little princess.

"Charming!" whispered the little princess, sticking the needle into her work as if to testify that the interest and fascination of the story prevented her from going on with it.

The vicomte appreciated this silent praise and smiling gratefully prepared to continue, but just then Anna Pavlovna, who had kept a watchful eye on the young man who so alarmed her, noticed that he was talking too loudly and vehemently with the abbe, so she hurried to the rescue. Pierre had managed to start a conversation with the abbe about the balance of power, and the latter, evidently interested by the young man's simple-minded eagerness, was explaining his pet theory. Both were talking and listening too eagerly and too naturally, which was why Anna Pavlovna disapproved.

"The means are... the balance of power in Europe and the rights of the people," the abbe was saying. "It is only necessary for one powerful nation like Russia- barbaric as she is said to be- to place herself disinterestedly at the head of an alliance having for its object the maintenance of the balance of power of Europe, and it would save the world!"

"But how are you to get that balance?" Pierre was beginning.

At that moment Anna Pavlovna came up and, looking severely at Pierre, asked the Italian how he stood Russian climate. The Italian's face instantly changed and assumed an offensively affected, sugary expression, evidently habitual to him when conversing with women.

"I am so enchanted by the brilliancy of the wit and culture of the society, more especially of the feminine society, in which I have had the honor of being received, that I have not yet had time to think of the climate," said he.

Not letting the abbe and Pierre escape, Anna Pavlovna, the more conveniently to keep them under observation, brought them into the larger circle.

5/02/2006 6:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chapter 4
War and Peace - by Leo Tolstoy

Book One: 1805. Chapter IV
Just them another visitor entered the drawing room: Prince Andrew Bolkonski, the little princess' husband. He was a very handsome young man, of medium height, with firm, clearcut features. Everything about him, from his weary, bored expression to his quiet, measured step, offered a most striking contrast to his quiet, little wife. It was evident that he not only knew everyone in the drawing room, but had found them to be so tiresome that it wearied him to look at or listen to them. And among all these faces that he found so tedious, none seemed to bore him so much as that of his pretty wife. He turned away from her with a grimace that distorted his handsome face, kissed Anna Pavlovna's hand, and screwing up his eyes scanned the whole company.

"You are off to the war, Prince?" said Anna Pavlovna.

"General Kutuzov," said Bolkonski, speaking French and stressing the last syllable of the general's name like a Frenchman, "has been pleased to take me as an aide-de-camp...."

"And Lise, your wife?"

"She will go to the country."

"Are you not ashamed to deprive us of your charming wife?"

"Andre," said his wife, addressing her husband in the same coquettish manner in which she spoke to other men, "the vicomte has been telling us such a tale about Mademoiselle George and Buonaparte!"

Prince Andrew screwed up his eyes and turned away. Pierre, who from the moment Prince Andrew entered the room had watched him with glad, affectionate eyes, now came up and took his arm. Before he looked round Prince Andrew frowned again, expressing his annoyance with whoever was touching his arm, but when he saw Pierre's beaming face he gave him an unexpectedly kind and pleasant smile.

"There now!... So you, too, are in the great world?" said he to Pierre.

"I knew you would be here," replied Pierre. "I will come to supper with you. May I?" he added in a low voice so as not to disturb the vicomte who was continuing his story.

"No, impossible!" said Prince Andrew, laughing and pressing Pierre's hand to show that there was no need to ask the question. He wished to say something more, but at that moment Prince Vasili and his daughter got up to go and the two young men rose to let them pass.

"You must excuse me, dear Vicomte," said Prince Vasili to the Frenchman, holding him down by the sleeve in a friendly way to prevent his rising. "This unfortunate fete at the ambassador's deprives me of a pleasure, and obliges me to interrupt you. I am very sorry to leave your enchanting party," said he, turning to Anna Pavlovna.

His daughter, Princess Helene, passed between the chairs, lightly holding up the folds of her dress, and the smile shone still more radiantly on her beautiful face. Pierre gazed at her with rapturous, almost frightened, eyes as she passed him.

"Very lovely," said Prince Andrew.

"Very," said Pierre.

In passing Prince Vasili seized Pierre's hand and said to Anna Pavlovna: "Educate this bear for me! He has been staying with me a whole month and this is the first time I have seen him in society. Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the society of clever women."

Anna Pavlovna smiled and promised to take Pierre in hand. She knew his father to be a connection of Prince Vasili's. The elderly lady who had been sitting with the old aunt rose hurriedly and overtook Prince Vasili in the anteroom. All the affectation of interest she had assumed had left her kindly and tearworn face and it now expressed only anxiety and fear.

"How about my son Boris, Prince?" said she, hurrying after him into the anteroom. "I can't remain any longer in Petersburg. Tell me what news I may take back to my poor boy."

Although Prince Vasili listened reluctantly and not very politely to the elderly lady, even betraying some impatience, she gave him an ingratiating and appealing smile, and took his hand that he might not go away.

"What would it cost you to say a word to the Emperor, and then he would be transferred to the Guards at once?" said she.

"Believe me, Princess, I am ready to do all I can," answered Prince Vasili, "but it is difficult for me to ask the Emperor. I should advise you to appeal to Rumyantsev through Prince Golitsyn. That would be the best way."

The elderly lady was a Princess Drubetskaya, belonging to one of the best families in Russia, but she was poor, and having long been out of society had lost her former influential connections. She had now come to Petersburg to procure an appointment in the Guards for her only son. It was, in fact, solely to meet Prince Vasili that she had obtained an invitation to Anna Pavlovna's reception and had sat listening to the vicomte's story. Prince Vasili's words frightened her, an embittered look clouded her once handsome face, but only for a moment; then she smiled again and dutched Prince Vasili's arm more tightly.

"Listen to me, Prince," said she. "I have never yet asked you for anything and I never will again, nor have I ever reminded you of my father's friendship for you; but now I entreat you for God's sake to do this for my son- and I shall always regard you as a benefactor," she added hurriedly. "No, don't be angry, but promise! I have asked Golitsyn and he has refused. Be the kindhearted man you always were," she said, trying to smile though tears were in her eyes.

"Papa, we shall be late," said Princess Helene, turning her beautiful head and looking over her classically molded shoulder as she stood waiting by the door.

Influence in society, however, is a capital which has to be economized if it is to last. Prince Vasili knew this, and having once realized that if he asked on behalf of all who begged of him, he would soon be unable to ask for himself, he became chary of using his influence. But in Princess Drubetskaya's case he felt, after her second appeal, something like qualms of conscience. She had reminded him of what was quite true; he had been indebted to her father for the first steps in his career. Moreover, he could see by her manners that she was one of those women- mostly mothers- who, having once made up their minds, will not rest until they have gained their end, and are prepared if necessary to go on insisting day after day and hour after hour, and even to make scenes. This last consideration moved him.

"My dear Anna Mikhaylovna," said he with his usual familiarity and weariness of tone, "it is almost impossible for me to do what you ask; but to prove my devotion to you and how I respect your father's memory, I will do the impossible- your son shall be transferred to the Guards. Here is my hand on it. Are you satisfied?"

"My dear benefactor! This is what I expected from you- I knew your kindness!" He turned to go.

"Wait- just a word! When he has been transferred to the Guards..." she faltered. "You are on good terms with Michael Ilarionovich Kutuzov... recommend Boris to him as adjutant! Then I shall be at rest, and then..."

Prince Vasili smiled.

"No, I won't promise that. You don't know how Kutuzov is pestered since his appointment as Commander in Chief. He told me himself that all the Moscow ladies have conspired to give him all their sons as adjutants."

"No, but do promise! I won't let you go! My dear benefactor..."

"Papa," said his beautiful daughter in the same tone as before, "we shall be late."

"Well, au revoir! Good-by! You hear her?"

"Then tomorrow you will speak to the Emperor?"

"Certainly; but about Kutuzov, I don't promise."

"Do promise, do promise, Vasili!" cried Anna Mikhaylovna as he went, with the smile of a coquettish girl, which at one time probably came naturally to her, but was now very ill-suited to her careworn face.

Apparently she had forgotten her age and by force of habit employed all the old feminine arts. But as soon as the prince had gone her face resumed its former cold, artificial expression. She returned to the group where the vicomte was still talking, and again pretended to listen, while waiting till it would be time to leave. Her task was accomplished.

5/02/2006 6:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SO TEMPTING TO PUT ALL 365 CHAPTERS ON YOUR BLOG!!!

5/02/2006 6:58 PM  
Blogger my life is brilliant said...

I can't believe I just read almost every single post on here... (I skipped the War & Peace posts and skimmed through a couple others, but just a couple!)

My brain is fried, and I can't think of a question. ...

5/02/2006 8:22 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

What the crap?! Look at what I missed today! Boo!

5/02/2006 10:57 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

That has to be a record amt. of comments K-T.

5/03/2006 6:58 AM  
Blogger Bobby said...

Wow. 173 comments and several chapters of Tolstoy. I stand amazed.

5/03/2006 9:12 AM  
Blogger Kristi said...

WOW WOW WOW!!!

5/03/2006 9:37 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

Ahahaha, this is SO FUNNY

I had no idea this post would end up this way, I'm wondering how far we can go with this?

5/03/2006 10:01 AM  
Blogger Eddo said...

um, KT, I think you just set a comment record in our little group.

How, praytell, did I miss this? Why didn't you send me an email that said, "Hey Eddie, jump in on the craziness!!!?!?!!?"

That is my question.

Oh, and who in the world posted that chapter of War and Peace? That is hilarious.

5/03/2006 10:30 AM  
Blogger Mark D said...

What was the original title of "War and Peace?"

5/03/2006 10:41 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

War and Peace, there is confusion that it was War and the World but that is a translation issue from russian to french to english

5/03/2006 10:45 AM  
Blogger Aim Claim said...

Seriously, man I can't believe that there can be this many comments, I am so bummed that I missed out on this yesterday!

5/03/2006 11:29 AM  
Blogger Kristi said...

Katie wants 200. C'mon people. You can do it! Only 19 more to go!

This is SO crazy! I wasted half of my morning reading through all of this!

5/03/2006 12:04 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

Hey Katie Can you help me out I am confused are we supposed to get this one over 200 or todays post over 200???

5/03/2006 12:08 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

I can't believe we're at 182 without comments from Jes, Eddo, and Ben.

That's just CRAZY talk.

5/03/2006 12:14 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Ok people, we can easily top 200 but let's shoot for GOLD and go for 300. Come on chat it up.

5/03/2006 12:32 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

Ok I am here, and You are so very welcome katie, I am always ready and willing to rise to the occasion of a good Challenge

5/03/2006 12:33 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

why does that not suprised me Logan, what with your extreme sports facination (your a snowboarder right? and I'm sure you're one of those crazy ones that has not met a cliff face he won't try)

5/03/2006 12:35 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

ahhhahaha LOL yeah I am an adrenaline junky and yeah no cliff here in Oregon has ever not been conqured by me In Fact I just found out the other day that I still have two sponsors and I didn't even know it

5/03/2006 12:38 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

what I don't understand is why logan is sometimes logan bennett and other times logan bennett on his comment name.

Pray, tell?

5/03/2006 12:42 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Actually, we aren't even close to 200 REAL comments... only 126 comments are not Katie's. For your FYI, Katie it is against the rules to count your own comments? Just so you know.

5/03/2006 12:45 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

whatever, my comments count as they are COMMENTS, don't be the comment hater Ben

5/03/2006 12:46 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

well see amstaff, I don't blog anymore, so when it is underlined, that goes to The Undiscovered web page, but when I don't feel like typing in www.ourplacechurch.com/undiscovered.asp everytime it just shows up bold and does not go to a web page

5/03/2006 12:46 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

you see ben not to go against my boys, but katie was participating in the commenting action, I only saw yours a couple times you are a comment FBI agent lurking in the shadows, since katie was participating I think that hers still count plus my fingers are hurting from typing

5/03/2006 12:49 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

ok, I'm checking out of the action for a while (gotta work)

I have no idea how this monster got started, but feel free to add comments at your leisure, this is a freak thing here so I'm letting the crazy train run on its own

Ya'll have fun and thanks for the comments thus far, you're all making me laugh

5/03/2006 1:02 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

I submit a comment of truth and suddenly I am a comment hater?

Truth hurts... doesn't Katie?

5/03/2006 1:09 PM  
Blogger steve said...

I am going to have to take credit for the War and Peace....

5/03/2006 1:09 PM  
Anonymous Logan Bennett said...

Stevie boy I knew it was you I almost told everybody that it was you, but I didn't because I wasn't sure really, but I kinda had a sneaking suspision (SP?)

5/03/2006 1:13 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

way to go, Jubal. I'm an avid reader, but I've never read it. Might as well get started via your comments.

5/03/2006 1:14 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

suspicion, young grasshopper.

5/03/2006 1:14 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

199

5/03/2006 1:14 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

200!! YEA!

5/03/2006 1:15 PM  

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