Friday, April 28, 2006

My halo is hanging a bit crooked now

I have a confession to make. I stole something.

And this isn't the type of confession where I say that when I was five and I really wanted the Dr. Pepper flavored lip smackers at the walmart and my mom wouldn't buy it for me so I stuck it in my pocket and sneaked it around for the next three months coating my lips with yummy dr. pepper flavored chap stick while feeling only a hint of remorse.

No, I stole something recently. Tuesday in fact. Now to define what I did as actual stealing might be a bit extreme, but my actions in taking these items reflect that I intended to masquerade my actions and make off with something that might not really be available for the general public's personal consumption (ahahahaha could i have been more wordy?).

Have you been to Starbucks lately? Have you seen the advertising for "akeelah and the bee"? Have you seen the spelling word cards?

Yep, I stole a set of them.

I gathered them together, scoped out if anyone of importance was watching and shoved them in my purse. I stole spelling bee cards. I'm a nerd. I realize this.

Not only did I steal spelling bee cards from Starbucks but I stole SPECIAL ones. Because these cards have the words and the pre-printed definitions but they also include a special bonus definition that a prior customer or customers had taken the time to write down. I stole vandalized spelling bee cards.

They were so funny to me so I had to steal them. I know, I know, funny spelling bee cards, the nerd points keep racking up.

So now that I have confessed to my stint as a grand larceny-ess, I will share with you a few of my favorite cards.

Editor's note: The cards list winning words from prior national spelling bees, their pronunciation, part of speech, and definition (1), and then there was the "special definition" (2). Note that you may have to pronounce some of these out loud to understand the humor in them. And well if you don't find them funny and question why I do, what can I say, I stole spelling bee cards, my sense of humor is probably a little off to begin with.

1. having a dark brown color
2. the opposite of whiteous

1. extremely old and antiquated
2. what is said to that cheapskate "diluvian" when he refuses to pony up for the next poker hand
1. indifferent; apathetic
2. a dwarf version of Jimmy Durante

1. preventing, removing, or allaying fever
2. person who vehemently opposes pie

1. a yarn or fabric made of spun silk
2. a dull felt-tip pen in Boston

1. containing, made of, or resembling clay
2. fond of scottish socks

1. any of various extinct flying reptiles of the order Pterosauria that existed during the Jurassic and Cretaceous periods
2. an affront against phonics

1. producing happiness
2. slang in NJ for "you are evil"


Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

HA HA HA HA! Shappe!!! That's hilarious!!!

Isn't JLR Argillaceous? Isn't she the one that loves Argyle socks? Maybe my memory is failing me.


K-T, you rebel you.

4/28/2006 10:29 AM  
Blogger Kristi said...

That's so funny. First of all, that you stole those, and secondly the definitions.

"an affront against phonics"

That made me laugh!

4/28/2006 12:23 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Kristi, that was one of my favs too

4/28/2006 12:53 PM  
Blogger steve said...

right after the post titled "character"

tisk tisk

4/28/2006 12:54 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

I KNOW, that is why my halo hangs crooked

but then again it wasn't really stealing, more like deceptively taking what was free and open for taking

4/28/2006 12:56 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

You. Are. A. Riot.

4/28/2006 1:01 PM  
Blogger my life is brilliant said...

I came across your site by a link on Just Say Jes's blog.

This post is hilarious! I don't blame you for stealing those cards. They're awesome! :)

4/28/2006 1:18 PM  
Blogger Eric Stacey said...

have fun at Shawshank

4/28/2006 3:06 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

There is definitely a side to me that is "antipyretic". Especially if it is pecan pie. I'm not a big fan of nuts in my dessert. That said, I do enjoy chess pie, which is really pecan pie without the pecans. Except sometimes it is too sweet, and I start to feel sick...

I also have an irrational fear of the marang pie. Well, that’s not completely true…I’ll eat the pudding filling (lemon is my favorite), but I go to great lengths to avoid the marang. There is nothing normal about marang...

4/28/2006 4:01 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Deals, really you give your poor runt of a sister a hard time for spelling lent "lint" but you type marang THREE times in a comment, and I giggle each time

But then I feel bad, because what if you get your feelings hurt when people point out you spelled things wrong, then I would be hurting your feelings but really I feel as if I am helping you to not make this same mistake where more people will see it

so i will edumacate you, the correct spelling is meringue

4/28/2006 4:06 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

I think it was your destiny to steal the cards so that you could share them all with us.

Whoever added the extra definitions deserves bonus points. Those are funny!!

4/28/2006 4:06 PM  
Blogger Jayleigh said...

Katie- you are not alone. My dear twin sis walked into Starbucks, saw the placard proclaiming
"Pterodactyl" and TOLD the cashier she wanted it. She said, "I want this. Really bad. So I'm going to take it, OK?" The lady told Dotty that she heard nothing and she'd look the other way while Dotty STOLE.

How funny is that?

4/29/2006 9:41 AM  
Blogger Bobby said...

Your punishment is that you have to see the movie and write a review of it on your blog.

5/01/2006 7:44 AM  
Blogger Aim Claim said...

What makes this even funnier is that you STOLE them AFTER BIBLESTUDY!!!! HAHAHA!

any acomplices?

5/01/2006 10:25 AM  
Blogger Eddo said...

1. a yarn or fabric made of spun silk
2. a dull felt-tip pen in Boston

HHAAAHAHA JCOL, that was my favorite too! SHAPPE!!!

5/01/2006 1:19 PM  
Blogger Eddo said...

Doesn't this movie come out this weekend?

I want to see it. I LOVE SPELLING!!!


5/01/2006 1:20 PM  
Blogger Eddo said...

I love spelling, but I hate typing word verification... grrr.

5/01/2006 1:21 PM  

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