My halo is hanging a bit crooked now

I have a confession to make. I stole something.

And this isn't the type of confession where I say that when I was five and I really wanted the Dr. Pepper flavored lip smackers at the walmart and my mom wouldn't buy it for me so I stuck it in my pocket and sneaked it around for the next three months coating my lips with yummy dr. pepper flavored chap stick while feeling only a hint of remorse.

No, I stole something recently. Tuesday in fact. Now to define what I did as actual stealing might be a bit extreme, but my actions in taking these items reflect that I intended to masquerade my actions and make off with something that might not really be available for the general public's personal consumption (ahahahaha could i have been more wordy?).

Have you been to Starbucks lately? Have you seen the advertising for "akeelah and the bee"? Have you seen the spelling word cards?

Yep, I stole a set of them.

I gathered them together, scoped out if anyone of importance was watching and shoved them in my purse. I stole spelling bee cards. I'm a nerd. I realize this.

Not only did I steal spelling bee cards from Starbucks but I stole SPECIAL ones. Because these cards have the words and the pre-printed definitions but they also include a special bonus definition that a prior customer or customers had taken the time to write down. I stole vandalized spelling bee cards.

They were so funny to me so I had to steal them. I know, I know, funny spelling bee cards, the nerd points keep racking up.

So now that I have confessed to my stint as a grand larceny-ess, I will share with you a few of my favorite cards.

Editor's note: The cards list winning words from prior national spelling bees, their pronunciation, part of speech, and definition (1), and then there was the "special definition" (2). Note that you may have to pronounce some of these out loud to understand the humor in them. And well if you don't find them funny and question why I do, what can I say, I stole spelling bee cards, my sense of humor is probably a little off to begin with.

Brunneous
1. having a dark brown color
2. the opposite of whiteous

Antediluvian
1. extremely old and antiquated
2. what is said to that cheapskate "diluvian" when he refuses to pony up for the next poker hand
Pococurante
1. indifferent; apathetic
2. a dwarf version of Jimmy Durante

Antipyretic
1. preventing, removing, or allaying fever
2. person who vehemently opposes pie

Shappe
1. a yarn or fabric made of spun silk
2. a dull felt-tip pen in Boston

Argillaceous
1. containing, made of, or resembling clay
2. fond of scottish socks

Pterodactyl
1. any of various extinct flying reptiles of the order Pterosauria that existed during the Jurassic and Cretaceous periods
2. an affront against phonics

Eudaemonic
1. producing happiness
2. slang in NJ for "you are evil"