All In

I’m back in Little D from Stinky B. To you non-southeast Texas folks, Stinky B is Beaumont. Go there once and you will know why the Stinky.

This is a follow up to Turkey and Texas Hold ‘Em. Turkey was good, although I had very little of it. My aunt who is super fun decided to make things easier on my grandparents this year and made reservations at a hotel for thanksgiving meal. Oh my word, did the entire town of Beaumont come to this hotel? The line was miles upon miles long just to get the entrees. Most of the fam camped out at the humongous shrimp and crab leg bar for most of the meal and then spent some long minutes in line for the “real” food. The funniest part was that there was a man playing a keyboard in a tuxedo with musical notes on the lapel and Seinfeld white puffy shirt underneath his jacket. It was hilarious and yet sad but the funny kind of sad where you laugh really hard.

But this is not the most pressing news. It seems that my family is all about starting new traditions. We have Texas Hold ‘Em at Thanksgiving and we’re adding Paintball at Christmas. Somehow this just seems wrong, but wrong is a fun and exciting way.

So my uncle is doing promotion for some clubs in Beaumont (he use to work/manage at all kinds of clubs in Dallas). So he suggested to this one club, actually a bar, that they have a free weekly Texas Hold ‘Em tournament. My aunt suggested my sister and I go along with our uncle and cousin so there would be lots of people at the tournament. They had each invited lots of friends (my uncle – guys who knew poker, one was a dealer, my cousin – frat brothers and college friends).

We walk in and, of course, are the only two girls in 30 playing in the tournament. At this point, as I survey guys that look like bouncers and card sharks, my one goal is to NOT GO OUT FIRST. Let me share with you my long experience with poker. I’ve played once and that was last Christmas when my younger cousin got a table. I’ve watched lots of Celebrity Poker on Bravo but mostly for the comedy of the banter between the players.

So I sit there at my table and play and a miracle occurs: Someone else goes out first. So I’ve met my goal and now I start playing with wild abandonment. Not really but I actually get involved in a few hands. And then another miracle occurs a guy at my table goes out, BEFORE ME. Wahoo I am a true winner now. I outlasted at least two people. So I play a little bit more daring. I actually move all in on a few hands (this is really because I have about $300 in chips when we started out with about $1,500.

Now get this, I become a deft poker player and here is my trick. I appear sweet and naïve but with enough kick to make it interesting. The guys at my table actually don’t know how to read me. I smile, I laugh, I stare them down. I’m a girl in a man’s world and it works. I begin to win and win big and before you know it I’ve knocked out a few players and I’m the chip leader at my table.

Then the fun begins. They consolidate tables and I take on more and better players and I beat them to a pulp all with a smile, and laugh. I’m actually playing well, lay off the weak hands, play aggressive on the strong ones, and bluff without them knowing it.
And with shaking hands and my bewilderment, I move to the final table the chip leader. I have not only outlasted 23 other men but I outlasted my uncle, cousin, and took out my sister. I’ve got fans now. Men are actually sticking around to see me play and the men at the table fear me. I hear rumors that I’m a minor professional player brought in to liven up the game. Little do they know that this poker newbie is making it on a small bit of raw talent and a lot of feminine charm.

Now that my story is long and you’ve stuck around for a while waiting for the big ending. I’ll let you know I took out a player at the final table and then went all in against the chip leader at the time and he beat me. My two pair of 8s and 4s with an Ace kicker was beat by his two pairs of 10s and 8s with an Ace kicker. I was out but happy. At that point the guy that beat me was slap happy drunk and spent most of his time trying to read me. I think he thought I was some super experienced and high level player and if he could just figure out my tell he would be the king of the world. The truth was I had no tells because I had so specific strategy, I just played and that seemed to work for me. I was happy to go out fourth because the top three got to come back for a tournament of champions and since I didn’t live there I didn’t want to take a spot away from someone else who had played hard (sidenote: I also didn’t want to knock out my table buddy who made it to the final four with me from our first table, he was a nice guy and I had taken a lot of his chips throughout the night and I wanted him to move on, I’m such a softie).

So I’m the family poker stud. We played all Thanksgiving day and I took out three people on one “all in” in one game and finished fourth again in another. It was fun but not as interactive as Cranium. Eddie – I actually told my aunt about the cranium dream team duo of Eddie the speller, actor, singer and Katie the drawer, random knowledge girl. We need to re-team and play again SOON. Jessica care to host a game night?