Evil Ducks

Ducks, they are sweet, harmless, kind creatures that bring up such images as yellow rubber duckies in a child's bubble bath, Donald Duck and his lisp, or a line of baby white ducklings following their mother. I do not think of evil, demonic, hitmen ducks who loiter outside your car waiting to attack you as you pick up your morning coffee.

A few weeks ago I stopped at my local Starbucks. As I pull into a parking space by the sidewalk I notice two ducks waddling around in front of the store fronts. DUCKS on the sidewalk. There is a creek, small river, drainage ditch about 300 yards away on the other side of some parking lots and a shopping center. I can only assume that this is where these ducks originated from, but now they had taken up residence in front of a dry cleaners and donut shop (I'm not sure which one was their primary destination).

I know you're thinking: "So? It's ducks, Katie, bit deal." Well these were not cute little white ducks with yellow bills but weird looking ducks with black and white feathers and red bills. Demonic Ducks! And I'm convinced they were staring at me. Since I felt silly pulling out of my parking space and moving my car I went ahead and got out and just hurried in the other direction to complete my coffee run.

As I walked back to my car I noticed the ducks were now directly in front of my car as if they were waiting for me. And, like any normal person, I had a momentary freak out. What was I supposed to do with two ducks blocking my car. Are they attack ducks? Do they want my coffee? Have I, unbeknown to me, started some sort of poultry war?

I mustered up my courage and began to walk to my car door thinking if I ignored them they would ignore me. WRONG! Duck #1, the aggressive one, starts waddling toward me. TOWARD ME! In this moment I wasn't sure what to do, so I scurried (yes I'm a wuss) to the door, hopped in my car, and promptly locked my door. I'm not sure if I thought the duck would somehow grow in height and develop hands or if maybe he was some sort of ninja duck who could jump up to my window and open my car door with his webbed feet.

From the confines of my car I looked out at this duck now staring at me through my window and I had to laugh at myself. I had just run from a duck, a demonic duck, but a duck no less. I live a very peculiar life.