Thursday, June 28, 2007

Evil Ducks

Ducks, they are sweet, harmless, kind creatures that bring up such images as yellow rubber duckies in a child's bubble bath, Donald Duck and his lisp, or a line of baby white ducklings following their mother. I do not think of evil, demonic, hitmen ducks who loiter outside your car waiting to attack you as you pick up your morning coffee.

A few weeks ago I stopped at my local Starbucks. As I pull into a parking space by the sidewalk I notice two ducks waddling around in front of the store fronts. DUCKS on the sidewalk. There is a creek, small river, drainage ditch about 300 yards away on the other side of some parking lots and a shopping center. I can only assume that this is where these ducks originated from, but now they had taken up residence in front of a dry cleaners and donut shop (I'm not sure which one was their primary destination).

I know you're thinking: "So? It's ducks, Katie, bit deal." Well these were not cute little white ducks with yellow bills but weird looking ducks with black and white feathers and red bills. Demonic Ducks! And I'm convinced they were staring at me. Since I felt silly pulling out of my parking space and moving my car I went ahead and got out and just hurried in the other direction to complete my coffee run.

As I walked back to my car I noticed the ducks were now directly in front of my car as if they were waiting for me. And, like any normal person, I had a momentary freak out. What was I supposed to do with two ducks blocking my car. Are they attack ducks? Do they want my coffee? Have I, unbeknown to me, started some sort of poultry war?

I mustered up my courage and began to walk to my car door thinking if I ignored them they would ignore me. WRONG! Duck #1, the aggressive one, starts waddling toward me. TOWARD ME! In this moment I wasn't sure what to do, so I scurried (yes I'm a wuss) to the door, hopped in my car, and promptly locked my door. I'm not sure if I thought the duck would somehow grow in height and develop hands or if maybe he was some sort of ninja duck who could jump up to my window and open my car door with his webbed feet.

From the confines of my car I looked out at this duck now staring at me through my window and I had to laugh at myself. I had just run from a duck, a demonic duck, but a duck no less. I live a very peculiar life.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh how I love you and your stories!!! This was just as good the 2nd time...cause I heard your voice and you freaking! Plus, I love that you hurried for a coffee run, as if you actually do run for your coffee

6/28/2007 11:44 AM  
Anonymous chirky said...

Katie. Seriously. Running from ducks? I'm laughing at you right now.

They're probably just used to humans and hoped you had some bread crumbs you could throw to them.

Heee. You're silly.

6/28/2007 12:00 PM  
Blogger Katie said...


Evil ducks, there was a look in the agressive one's eyes that said "I'm going to attack you and peck you to death". Seriously!

6/28/2007 12:02 PM  
Blogger spaghettipie said...

K - While you may have been on an episode of Hidden Camera, I think you were justified. Some of those types of ducks live on a lake near my friends (near your office, actually), and they do look a little evil to me too...

6/28/2007 11:37 PM  
Blogger JLR said...

"I'm not sure if I thought the duck would somehow grow in height and develop hands"
:) hilarious.

And where exactly is this shopping center? It looks familiar. I guess they all kind of look the same, though.

6/29/2007 9:56 AM  
Blogger David said...

you were supposed to buy them a muffin, did you not know that?

IF ducks could talk

7/05/2007 10:08 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

Ducks aren't evil.

Now Red Winged Black Birds...

Different story.

Pure Evil.

7/11/2007 2:49 PM  
Anonymous Ninja_Duckie said...

I am so sorry Katie, I've only just heard about the incident. The ducks in question have been stripped of their rank and placed on midnight sentry duties for the next month.

Unfortunately our research has lead us to believe that Ducks growing hands is unlikely at this time. The technology should be available in 5 years or so.

As for the Ninja Duck theory, I only refer to myself as a Ninja Duck for intimidation purposes. The first trained Ninja Ducks will be released on the unsuspecting public some time in November.

David is indeed correct about the muffin. My soldiers like muffins.
After all, they are only Ducks.

(Yes, I'm English. Only England produces the best Evil Geniuses.)

9/01/2007 11:30 AM  

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