Thursday, January 11, 2007

When Bad dreams happen to Good people

Every now and then I have horrible dreams. Not nightmares per se. There are no masked men chasing me with chain saws or unfaced people in the shadows attacking me. Nope, my dreams always include people I know, so if I know you I've probably dreamt about you.

Now just so you know, you may not look like yourself in my dream and the funny thing is that I know that it's you but it doesn't look like you. But another thing to know is that if I dreamed about you, you've probably only been in a "bad" dream. I have no idea why my "good" or normal dreams always consist of made up people but my "bad" dreams have a credit list of all the people I know in real life.

So last night was a marathon bad dream. It was horrible and when I woke up crying and physically sick to my stomach I willed myself to forget it and immediatly replace it with a better dream. I hate dreams like that. Dreams that seem so real, that I feel like I'm really living out and that rip my heart to shreds with what happens. Those are the moments when I wish that I didn't dream, that sleep was just one long black tunnel of nothingness. Instead I wake from the bad dream and have this horrible feeling that overwhelms me and makes me think that what I just dreamed has really occured and there is that moment between wakefulness and dream when I wonder if this is in fact the world that I will wake to.

The best part is when a horrible dream is followed by a good dream. A dream that lets you wake with a smile on your face. Luckily that's how my morning ended (albeit I slept through my alarm and work up an hour later than I planned) but at least I had replaced the sinking feeling of the first dream with the lightness of the second.

So do you dream? If so, do you remember them?


Anonymous jes said...

I usually always remember my dreams - they're tucked away in my mind. I can even remember dreams I had when I was little. (But somehow, I always seem to remember the bad dreams. Why?)

It makes me sad to think about you waking up physically sick and crying. I've had those, too, more times than I'd like to admit. I'm sorry for you, KT.

1/11/2007 11:37 AM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

I've always been a very vivid dreamer. I'm also a very active dreamer: I talk in my sleep, have nonsensical conversations with people who are awake when I am asleep, etc.

I'm also one of those people who never grew out of the whole "night terror" thing. Night terrors are, of course, different than nightmares. Whereas I almost always recall my nightmares (which by the way sound similar to yours - when they are bad, they are baaaaaaaaaaaad), I almost never remember my night terrors. Instead, I wake up knowing where I am, knowing that I am waking up from sleep, oftentimes glancing at the clock to see what time it is, etc. The difference is that something is still lingering from the dream world. In other words, I’m awake and conscious of me, my bedroom, my dog, the time, etc. and AT THE SAME TIME I’m also aware that, say, I’m covered in bugs or that there is a man with a knife standing at the foot of my bed. So, I scream and throw things, jump out of bed, etc. Once I get the light on, though, the night terror disappears. This happens so often that, once I’ve reassured myself that it was all just a dream, I can go right back to sleep.

It is, of course, a different story for those sleeping nearby. My night terrors really freaked out my high school (note: I went to boarding school) and college roommates. However, after several months of them, even they would say stuff like, “It’s only a dream. There’s nothing there. Now, go back to bed.”

Even Gypsy (my dog) has gotten use to them. She used to come running, but now she doesn’t even get off her bed. Although, I think she can sense them somehow. Randomly, I am awakened by her licking my arm or hand and I am vaguely aware I was having a bad dream: a bad dream that I can’t remember, and find myself wondering if it would have morphed into a night terror had Gypsy not interrupted it.

1/11/2007 12:03 PM  
Blogger Lorie said...

They say everyone dreams every night, just not everyone remembers what they dream. I sometimes do and I sometimes don't. There are dreams that I can remember from being a kid.

What happens to me a lot is that I will wake up, remember my dream, but as soon as I open my mouth, I can't put it into words!

1/11/2007 4:14 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

I don't normally remember my dreams. Just a black tunnel of nothingness usually. But when I do remember them... they are usually over the top. Light the time I was bear hunting with my brother... scared the crap out of me.

1/11/2007 4:27 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Like the time... not light the time.

1/11/2007 4:27 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Ben: I thought you were "highlighting" the time you dreamt of bear hunting with your brother...

1/11/2007 4:29 PM  
Blogger Love Caddy B-Dawg The Forlorn Moonpuppy said...

My dreams, the few times I remember having them, are pretty weird. They usually involve a wide cast of characters, most often friends. Sometimes I'm the star of my dream but sometimes I'm more of an observer. Scene changes can be very abrupt and nonsensical.

1/12/2007 7:04 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

I know! That's why I clarified it for you deals! ;)

1/12/2007 10:18 AM  
Blogger Eddo said...

I dream all the time, very vividly but rarely do I have nightmares. Thank the Lord. And I remember a lot of my dreams mostly because I wake up so often in the middle of the night and hope to pick up where I left off.

1/12/2007 11:06 AM  
Blogger Emily said...

I remember my dreams most of the time.. and I talk in my sleep some too. I seem to remember my bad dreams more often than the good ones.

1/12/2007 6:19 PM  
Blogger Tom said...

Yeah the long never-ending dreams drain me. I have had a few lately. Actually I have dreamed of snakes a few times here lately. Kinda scares me. But in breaking it down....I thnk it's gods way of saying I better watch out what I am doing.

1/14/2007 11:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i rarely remember my dreams but when i do they are only ever bad dreams. not like, wake up screaming, but still not pleasant dreams. as far as i know i've never had a good dream. i don't know why this is, coz i'm not an unhappy person or anything? it's just wierd.

2/03/2007 9:24 PM  
Blogger sassynsoftheartd said...

Recently I have been dreaming of someone chasing me and wanting to kill me, each dream or nightmare I have becomes more graphic each time..I wake up before actually being killed, and I am up for hours almost scared to go back to sleep.

5/04/2007 2:18 AM  

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