Thursday, January 19, 2006

“Because I said so”

When you were a kid did you hate it when your parents pulled this one out of their back pocket? Oh, it drove me nuts. I was a very curious child and always wanted to know the “why”.

Now I am an impatient adult and want to know “why”, “how”, “when”, and “what”.

I’ve realized that sometimes this is the only answer we can give.

And other times it is the only answer we can receive.


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WHY? A question that has plagued me for a lifetime. Why this, why that, why not, why now, why here, why him or her?

I want answers and I want them now.

Impatience is weaved into my being, a need for understanding my bedrock. And yet I live a life that is based solely on a concept that forgoes these questions: Faith (oh a topic that is yet to be fully chewed upon in my mind). Now I’m not saying faith does not know, but faith is more trusting without having to know. It is forsaking all that seems rational, reasonable, and even possible for what you believe to be true, for what you know to be true, and for what you live as truth.

The semantics of this pitiful excuse for a definition are important: Faith does not equal NOT knowing, but does equal not HAVING to know. There is the key, the concept that eludes me so often. It is trusting without having to know why. Trusting in what you know to be true, to be good, and the rest is peripheral.

And when I remove the peripheral, the circumstances, the barriers, the timelines, the human part of life, I am left with two things. Me and God. Isn’t that how it always ends up? When you strip away all the other externalities, all the stuff that clouds our minds we come down to a relationship. A one-on-one relationship between me and God.

Stripped down, bare, I end up standing before Him with my head in my hands and my heart on display. The cries come tumbling from my lips faster than I can form the words. Why is it so hard? Why does it have to be this way? What are you doing to me? When will I? So many questions, so many fears, my innermost thoughts exposed before Him, my humanity on display.

And His answer is simple. It might not be what I want to hear but it is what I need to hear.

Because I AM.

The name of God that is defined as “the self-existent One”. It is Yahweh, Jehovah. Translated into Lord, it is the subsequent basis for many other names of God. The Lord will Provide, The Lord who Heals, The Lord my Banner, the Lord who Sanctifies, the Lord is Peace, the Lord of Hosts, the Lord my Shepherd, The Lord our Righteousness, The Lord is There. All of these characteristics of Him, all of these promises, and all are based on who He is.

So that broken girl with questions pouring from her heart who longs for answers realizes it all comes down to a name.

I AM.

Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.
Psalm 9:10

Brevity has never been my strong suit. Words come in truck loads for me. And while there is much more to say on this topic, those truck loads are just piles of unorganized thoughts at the moment. So it seemed appropriate, almost perfect to put up the “this” of the week before with what it all boiled down to, or better WHO it all boiled down to.

16 Comments:

Blogger Stephanie said...

Wow, Katie: I love how your mind works.

This is so perfect that I can't even begin to tell you.

Thanks for blessing me today.

1/19/2006 3:02 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

That's why I used the word "wise" to describe you. It's because even though you struggle to understand it all, you already understand. Even though you want to know the answers, you already do.

That we are to trust the one that has all the answers and all the time in the world. Abba - daddy.

1/19/2006 3:07 PM  
Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

I agree with you. But I do try to make exceptions for my own son when I can. Remember Eph. 6:4? "...provoke not your children to wrath..."

Although its addressed to fathers only (some theologians feel that it's because fathers are more likely to err here) it really applies to us all. We are not to try to unnecessarily provoke our kids. So, I try to explain what I can to him. He even can discuss it with me. But when I hear his point of view and still disagree, I'm the mom and I win.

Until he's grown up, that is.

1/19/2006 3:16 PM  
Blogger Logan Bennett said...

Katie, I like this, i too was one of those children that wanted to know why, i too was one of those children that had a world of questions and still do have questions

1/19/2006 4:13 PM  
Blogger Aim Claim said...

"Faith does not equal NOT knowing, but does equal not HAVING to know."

I love the way you put that. Great post "broken girl with questions pouring from her heart" (sounds like an indian name!)... keep it up, can't wait for the WHO!

1/19/2006 5:45 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

I came here by way of The Cubicle Reverend. I saw your "Remove Andy" button on your sidebar. I clicked it, and I must say that I whole-heartedly agree. Get that crap off TV. If he can have a show, then anyone with a video camera can have a show. In fact, my 6 yr old son would probably have a much better, more enjoyable show than that crap! Sorry I vented so long.

1/19/2006 6:36 PM  
Blogger green said...

"Because I said so" becomes oh so much more relevant when you have kids. Someday you'll fully understand...

1/19/2006 7:08 PM  
Blogger BlondGirl said...

I always picture God as a loving and tolerant father, shaking His head at me, in disbelief, again. He says something to me like, "Crystal, Crystal, Crystal, how many times must I tell you that (fill in the blank) is not part of my plan for you." And I, ever the petulant child say (with a little bit of 'tude), "But why? Why can't I?" He says to me, "Because I said so."

Then, once again, I remember . . . Father knows best.

1/19/2006 7:27 PM  
Blogger Shenna said...

Yeah, like Green says, becomes much more relevant when you have your own kids. In fact, you do lots of things you swore you wouldn't (that your parents do). Trust me, it happens to everyone.

And like Crystal - I too can hear "because I said so" from our Heavenly Father. Father knows best, and for my own good, I will obey!

1/19/2006 8:27 PM  
Blogger bigwhitehat said...

Consider the command to not make a graven Image. Consider the command not to Take The Lord's name in Vain.

God takes His Identity seriously. He never wants us to define Him.

Some religions define god. Our God defines Himself.

JB Philips translated John 1:1 this way: "In the beginning, God expressed Himself."

LYS

1/20/2006 12:12 AM  
Blogger Live, Love, Laugh said...

Katie, that post was incredible, you always make me stop and think when I come here. Hmmm, is that dangerous? lol!

1/20/2006 1:13 AM  
Blogger Kristi said...

There is so much packed into this. I'm going to have to read it like 5 more times to get the full impact.... This is why I said you were "perceptive."

1/20/2006 9:35 AM  
Blogger Eddo said...

Nice Post KT. You are way deeper than I ever thought you were when we were leaders together.

1/20/2006 10:46 AM  
Blogger Mark D said...

Katie,
It's been a busy week for me so I am just now catching up. Especially after reading this post, I think my one word for you would be genuine. I very much appreciate that about you. Being genuine is risky because when you bear your soul and someone rejects it or does not appreciate it, that can be painful and discouraging. On the other hand, it is very encouraging when people respond to that vulnerability in a positive way. Thank you for being honest and vulnerable. That's what keeps me coming back.

1/21/2006 9:39 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

"And when I remove the peripheral, the circumstances, the barriers, the timelines, the human part of life, I am left with two things. Me and God.

Katie... I love the fact that you can narrow down life to these to things... because really, THAT is what life is all about. This insight is all we need.

1/21/2006 10:13 PM  
Blogger Tony Myles said...

Katie -

This reminds me of something I wrote on another blog. Here it is:

http://www.nameless-yp.com/

1/24/2006 1:28 PM  

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