“Because I said so”

When you were a kid did you hate it when your parents pulled this one out of their back pocket? Oh, it drove me nuts. I was a very curious child and always wanted to know the “why”.

Now I am an impatient adult and want to know “why”, “how”, “when”, and “what”.

I’ve realized that sometimes this is the only answer we can give.

And other times it is the only answer we can receive.


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WHY? A question that has plagued me for a lifetime. Why this, why that, why not, why now, why here, why him or her?

I want answers and I want them now.

Impatience is weaved into my being, a need for understanding my bedrock. And yet I live a life that is based solely on a concept that forgoes these questions: Faith (oh a topic that is yet to be fully chewed upon in my mind). Now I’m not saying faith does not know, but faith is more trusting without having to know. It is forsaking all that seems rational, reasonable, and even possible for what you believe to be true, for what you know to be true, and for what you live as truth.

The semantics of this pitiful excuse for a definition are important: Faith does not equal NOT knowing, but does equal not HAVING to know. There is the key, the concept that eludes me so often. It is trusting without having to know why. Trusting in what you know to be true, to be good, and the rest is peripheral.

And when I remove the peripheral, the circumstances, the barriers, the timelines, the human part of life, I am left with two things. Me and God. Isn’t that how it always ends up? When you strip away all the other externalities, all the stuff that clouds our minds we come down to a relationship. A one-on-one relationship between me and God.

Stripped down, bare, I end up standing before Him with my head in my hands and my heart on display. The cries come tumbling from my lips faster than I can form the words. Why is it so hard? Why does it have to be this way? What are you doing to me? When will I? So many questions, so many fears, my innermost thoughts exposed before Him, my humanity on display.

And His answer is simple. It might not be what I want to hear but it is what I need to hear.

Because I AM.

The name of God that is defined as “the self-existent One”. It is Yahweh, Jehovah. Translated into Lord, it is the subsequent basis for many other names of God. The Lord will Provide, The Lord who Heals, The Lord my Banner, the Lord who Sanctifies, the Lord is Peace, the Lord of Hosts, the Lord my Shepherd, The Lord our Righteousness, The Lord is There. All of these characteristics of Him, all of these promises, and all are based on who He is.

So that broken girl with questions pouring from her heart who longs for answers realizes it all comes down to a name.

I AM.

Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.
Psalm 9:10

Brevity has never been my strong suit. Words come in truck loads for me. And while there is much more to say on this topic, those truck loads are just piles of unorganized thoughts at the moment. So it seemed appropriate, almost perfect to put up the “this” of the week before with what it all boiled down to, or better WHO it all boiled down to.