Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Because if it is way down in the comments you may not take the time to read it

Uhhh sorry but the following statement that says I will post something from my head is false. I will have to wait until tomorrow to post something new. Sorry for the false advertisement.
I will post something out of my own pretty little head a bit later but I HAD to highlight this once comment from my post yesterday.

Some of you know Deals of Blinky Moments, who is also known as Deals on Wheels (how is that for a name?). And then there are those of you who have not had the opportunity to experience this hidden wonder. If I have any sway with you (which I'm sure if I do it is very little and expires after about three seconds) I recommend you visit this blog and enjoy the ramblings of a mighty funny gal.

This was a comment she offered on my post asking for conversation. I went ahead and added my responses to her. So sit back with a cup of joe and just experience the dealio psyche.

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Does anyone else have a problem chewing gum? Because I do. I chew, like, a pack a day or something ridiculous, which wouldn't be a problem if I could somehow manage to not swallow it all of the time.

Back when I was little, I wouldn't allow myself to chew gum because I knew that I had a problem "swallowing" it. I was afraid that it would really get stuck on my ribs and that it would stay there for seven years. This bothered me to no end, so I decided that I would just swear off gum until I could figure out a way to chew it without swallowing it.

Anyway, the whole not chewing thing really worked out for me when I was seven or eight. Well, that is until I found out in science class one day that gum travels through the digestive system just like anything else you swallow. This, of course, was a great relief, because it meant that my ribs weren't covered in the stuff.

So, I started chewing again, and I still chew to this day. I like to chew, but I rarely (if ever) manage to not swallow the stuff. Case in point: I’ve swallowed three pieces of gum this afternoon alone. It just happens - one second I am chewing away and the next it is gone (tragic, I know).

Plus, my gum habit is getting a little expensive.

I'm a little worried, though, that my science teacher might have been wrong about the whole thing (like maybe he was just mistaken and gum really does get stuck to your ribs if you swallow it). Sometimes I imagine what my ribs must look like (assuming that gum really does get stuck there for seven years) and I always envision this jar that my 2nd grade art teacher had in her classroom. See, gum was forbidden in class, so every time she caught someone chewing it, she made them spit it out into this jar. At first, it wasn't that gross, but as the year went on more and more gum went into the jar. By the end of the year, the jar was full of all of these multicolor gum balls and they were all floating in a yellowish pool of thick salvia. I gag just thinking about it. If we were misbehaving in class, the art teacher would threaten us by saying things like, “if you don’t behave I’ll make you drink some of the spit in the jar.” We would all get quiet immediately – even the boys – because just looking at the jar made us all want to vomit. It was just pure nastiness.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure that if gum doesn’t go through me like everything else that I eat, that my ribs - by now - must look like all of that gum did in that jar: a bunch of multicolored wads completely covering every nanometer of ribcage inside of my chest. Whenever I have a cough and my chest rattles - I picture the gum on my ribs and decide that it is the gum (not the phlegm) that is causing the rattle. Then, I promise myself – once again - that I'll learn to not swallow my gum anymore, but - of course - I still do.

Too bad there is not a “Gum Chewers Anonymous”, because I could use the support. I’ve identified the issue and accepted (and admitted) that it is a problem, but I have no idea where to go from here.

That reminds me of that song from Evita. You know, the one that goes, “Where do we go from here? This isn’t where we intended to be. We had it all. You believed in me. I believed in you…” I always liked that song. One time in high school we went to the movies to see Evita (starring Madonna). I went to this boarding school in Maryland, and the movie theater closest to the school was deemed to be unsafe (apparently). So, in order to see Evita, we had to travel to Pennsylvania. It was a miserable bus ride and when we finally got there it was this dirty, sketchy little theater in the middle of nowhere. When the lights went out, you could hear and feel the mice running around. It was horrible, but the chaperones made us stay and watch the entire movie (since they had gone to all of the trouble to bus the group of us all the way up to this particular theater).

Anyway, I always think of that song whenever someone says, “Where do we go from here?”

That song also reminds me of the time I got lost on a bike path and had to be picked up at some random guys house. We were completely lost, and had no idea where we were going. I had been walking with this friend of mine for hours and it was starting to get dark. This was before cell phones and all, so we decided that we’d knock on the first house that we saw from the bike path. Well, we didn’t see a house for over an hour, and when we finally found one, it was nothing more than a shack by the side of the road. I was pretty sure that we had stumped into one of those horror movies by accident, but the girl I was with decided that we had to knock to see if the people living there had a phone that we could use to call for help.

So, she knocks on the door and this BIG guy answers holding an axe. I was like, “Oh, no. We’re dead,” but my friend wasn’t fazed and asked if we could use his phone. He ended up being very friendly and brought us his portable (there was NO way I was going inside his house to use the phone – especially with him holding that axe).

Anyway, my friend’s mother came and picked us up 45 minutes later. We had managed to walk over 20 miles in the wrong direction. I’m still not completely sure how we managed to get lost on a bike path in the first place, but whatever.

Okay, that’s it for me. I hope this “conversation” adds to the overall “conversation”. I can talk and/or write about nothing for hours. It’s a talent.

Anyway, work is finally over! Yey!

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And my comments in reply:

:)

This is what I did when I saw Deals's comment pop up in my email and I had to SCROLL my email to read it all. The small things in life, that is really what it is all about, and this is one of those small things that brings me an inexpicable amount of joy.

and then after I smiled I read the comment and I dry heaved for about five minutes at the mention of a gum gar filled with yellow saliva like liquid, and then I dry heaved some more because you said that your teacher would threaten to make you drink it (just dry heaved at this moment)

and then I laughed at the axe man story because it reminded me of the hatchet man story (which I must share come time)

too bad there wasn't anything to cry about because deals you would have taken me through the wheel of emotions and that would be an achievment

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So friends take a moment and just enjoy what brought a smile to my face, a dry heave to my gut (ugh just did it again as I read over this post), and a laugh to my soul

I'll be back this afternoon with some ramblings of my own, although my ramblings are usually not this entertaining and they aren't really ramblings but long drawn out thoughts that are over analyzed and hard to follow, yep those are my ramblings.

11 Comments:

Blogger Stephanie said...

hahahahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Oh my word, Deals?! You're hilarious! You just put my sad little paragraph of ramblings to SHAME. SHAME I SAY!!! hahahaha too funny! Thanks for posting that Katie! lol

1/31/2006 10:00 AM  
Blogger amelia said...

Ok, I am so laughing and dry heaving at the same time too. That is a weird and funny combo all at once!! SO FUNNY!! I'm glad you posted this because I had a busy day yesterday and did not have time to read all the comments!!

1/31/2006 10:31 AM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

It did deserve it's own post. Credit where credit is due, way to go K-T and Deals.

Did you ever read her comment on my ASL post? I copied it and emailed it to my ASL buddies. They thought it was hilarious. Stop by and read it if you get a chance.

1/31/2006 10:42 AM  
Blogger Aim Claim said...

I'm so glad you put this back up. I don't usually read the posts at the bottom... greatness!

Isn't crazy the way our minds link one thing to another!

1/31/2006 12:31 PM  
Blogger Logan Bennett said...

Wow what amazing things go through peoples mind and gross and weird all at the same time, one of my ex girlfriends used to describe my mind like a run away train jumping from track to track never ever staying on the same topic for more then like 5 minutes but somehow relating everything together..... Does that make me weird???

1/31/2006 3:40 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

logan if you have to ask then question then the answer is YES

welcome to the club

1/31/2006 4:06 PM  
Blogger Logan Bennett said...

Sweeeeet I have always wanted to be part of a club, Wait Eddo and Steve and Cube Rev might think that it is weird that I am part of a girls club please don't tell them.

1/31/2006 4:40 PM  
Blogger Deals On Wheels said...

Oh, wow! I had no idea that my rambling commentary would ever make it as a post on someone else's BLOG! That just totally made my day! I feel so honored!!

And to think that I was just babbling on because I was trying to kill the last ten minutes of a Monday workday!

Thank you, Katie!! :D

1/31/2006 5:46 PM  
Blogger green said...

How can you top that???

1/31/2006 10:23 PM  
Blogger Live, Love, Laugh said...

Oh my, this girl has some issues. lol! I can't believe she is swallowing her gum, forget the ribs, what if it gets stuck in her colon? Ugh? lol!

2/01/2006 6:47 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

I always thought Gum just stayed in your stomach... So I always pictured that I had this big wad of gum at the bottom of my stomach... anyway... You STILL swallow your gum? How is that possible?

2/01/2006 3:47 PM  

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