Giant Women’s Underpants

Ok I know you are asking yourself, how does Katie go from talking about God and scars and victory and then jumps over to underpants. Very easily in fact. If you know me at all, then you know that I can jump from topic to topic with lightening fast ease. I also have an uncanny gift of connecting those topics, so if you wish to challenge me go ahead.

Back to the underpants.

I love a good practical joke or prank. Not a mean prank or one that hurts another person, but a good, funny, unexpected prank.

I also like very much to be on the giving end of said prank. There is truth in the statement it is better to give than receive. It is funnier to give than receive also.

Back to the underpants. (I just like typing that sentence)

So in honor of my love of pranks I was gun ho when my roomie suggested we prank a houseful of boys that we knew. And what better way to prank boys than to involve GIANT women’s underpants.

Our plan was foolproof and pretty funny. Her job was to find the BIGGEST pair of women’s underpants in town. Now this is a tough job people. There are many sizes of women’s underpants and we wanted the biggest. You really can’t just walk into a store and ask the teenage boy sales clerk, “Show me your largest pair of women’s underwear please.” This would take some research and undercover work. So my roomie set off to all the local stores in search of her prize.

Soon after she left I got a phone call from her. She was standing in the lingerie section of our faithful Target (I love Target) holding up a pair of underwear and trying to decide if they were indeed the biggest she could find. While on the phone with me, she proceeded to try them on. Now let me explain something about my former roomie. She is TINY. My sweet little roommate was maybe, maybe 5 feet and an inch. This, in comparison, to my 5’9” height made her seem even smaller. She also is tiny size-wise, little and compact. So imagine this small, little girl trying on the biggest pair of underwear she could find. She was laughing so hard because she could have made an entire outfit out of these underwear, and still been decently covered. They were THAT big. Roomie then asked a fellow shopper if they thought these were the biggest underwear possible. How would you have liked to be that person, and how do you answer that question from a complete stranger.

So confident that she had in fact found the largest pair of underwear in town, she made her purchase and brought them home for my part in the prank.

Not only were we going to purchase GIANT women’s underpants for these guys we were going to personalize them. So off I go with my three pairs of underpants and head for the nearest embroiderer. Every man needs his name stitched on a pair of women’s underpants.

So I walk confidently into the embroiderer with my underwear in tow (well the giant underwear actually). The set up of a prank is almost as much fun as the prank itself. The girl behind the counter was rolling as I explained that I wanted boy’s names stitched on these underwear. Now the decisions came: what color? on the front or back? Well if you are going to have women’s underwear than you need womany colors so I went with the pink, purple, and turquoise shades. And, just in case the boys wanted to actually wear the underpants I figured a name on the back would be most useful.

Then came Underpants Day. My roomie showed up at my work (I happen to work in the same neighborhood as the guys) and we set off with all our supplies. Our idea was to string up the underwear across their porch, proudly proclaiming their name. The best part was that these guys were super active in our college group and had people over at their house all the time and their neighbors were all people they knew really well.

I swear the Mission Impossible theme was playing in the background as we made our way there. Stealthily we hung the underwear with care across a rope on the front porch (much like stockings on a mantle at Christmas time).

Each boy had his individual pair flapping there in the breeze. It was BEAUTIFUL, simply BEAUTIFUL.

Our mission was accomplished. Now all we had to do was wait for the reaction.

So of the three boys, the mellowest came home first. He later told us he drove up and thought that his one of his roommates had just hung his laundry out to dry. It wasn’t until he got up close that he realized exactly what was flapping in the breeze and that his name was on one of them. My favorite part is that he just left them there.

So the boys left them up for a few days and I got to take people by and show them our handiwork. After that two of the guys took them down and tacked them up on their bedroom doors. CLASSIC. That made me smile. Nothing like some good Christian boys using women’s underwear that span their entire doorway as a nametag.

We eventually confessed and relished in our prankdom. They were good sports and tried to prank us back with saran wrap around my roomies car. It was a nice try, but so beneath our level.

The funny part of this story is that my roomie, my partner in crime, is now married to one of those boys. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. So she can always say that she gave her future husband women’s underwear even before they were dating.

Oh yea, as part of the prank we sent them a little postcard as a reminder of their special underwear. I’m not sure if you can really grasp the size of these underwear. Let’s just say that my roomie and I both fit in them with room for another few people.