Huh?

I realize that many of you may think I am a bit off at times. Manic might be the best way to describe my writing style.

Today I tackle the mundane, or better the insane, because that is what I feel like. Are those the footsteps of the men with the straight jacket I hear?

Really I think I have lost my mind today (ok well I’m pretty sure I lost it a while back but every so often the emptiness between my ears becomes more noticeable).

Case in point:

I was in a fender bender yesterday. Well actually my fender wasn’t bent at all, it was my bumper. So I guess I was in a bumper thumper (oh you know that made you smile). Well this was my first incident of being the victim in a car accident (unless you count the time I was hurled against the roof of a school bus – but that is a different story all together).

So there I was minding my own business, puttering along in stop and go traffic. This is a good place to inform you, my dear audience, that I DO NOT LIKE TRAFFIC. In fact I have often stated that the worst type of torture for me would be to lock me in a car, give me a deadline to be somewhere, and then stick me in traffic where we don’t move at all. I have often pondered the possibility of abandoning my car and walking – that is how much I dislike being stuck without movement. God in his infinite wonder and irony has worked on this with me and placed me in many a traffic jam to teach me about patience – I’m learning the lesson slowly shall we say.

Ok back to my bumper thumper (yep I used it again). There I was stopped with the proper safe distance between myself and the car in front of me (my dad would be so proud) and I was jamming to some good tunes (I may have, in fact, been car dancing – yes if you see a blonde girl in a white Corolla bouncing around it may be me and my killer car seat dance skillz). All of a sudden my body was hurled toward my steering wheel in a very uncomfortable way and I heard what can only be called a “crash”. Now I will admit it took me a moment to realize that I was the one hit (are you getting the insanity idea now). So I look in my rear view window to see a young college girl sitting calmly in her car. So, again, I began to wonder if maybe I was not the one hit and I had somehow had a “sympathy reaction” and decided to throw my own body forward upon hearing someone else crash. Alas, this was just a fleeting moment of insanity, I had been hit.

So we pulled over to the side and did all the official information exchange. I was calm and not really angry and the poor girl commented on how kind I was being. Well I was kind on the outside but I was a bit perturbed when she told me that this was the THIRD rear ending she had been involved in (caused actually). But she was sweet so we did our thing and then went on with our evenings.

So now that I’ve called all the insurance companies and answered all their questions and I get to live with a rental car for a few days, I ponder the emotional and mental toll this has taken on me. And I’m wondering if you can claim temporary insanity or accident induced mental deficiency on a car accident claim.

The reason for this claim? I cannot for the life of me remember my work phone number today. I actually had to put someone on hold so that I could look it up. Now I have it posted on a sticky note on my computer.

Yep, accident induced mental deficiency. I think I have a pretty solid case.