Wedding Bells keep falling on my head
It is a normal month in a normal year so of course someone somewhere is getting married. It just so happens that many someones I know have or are getting married. Let's take a moment to count the weddings in the year of 2004 alone. Luke Yarbrough - January, Elizabeth (now Brodie) - April, Nicolle (now Gershon) - May, Jessica (now Ferris) - May, Alicia (I was her high school LEADER and now she is Mrs. Underwood), Lindsay G (my fun BSF friend who will become a Mrs. in less than 2 weeks), Lisa (will be Mrs. Crane in less than 3 weeks), Brad Herndon (he gets to keep his own name but gets a Mrs. in less than 3 weeks). And these are just a few, I know I'm missing more that I knew about but didn't get to attend and so many more to come.
So you would think that with all this wedding hullabaloo (that is such a fun word to say) I, a single girl approaching 30, might be having feelings of . . . . well let's be honest here: fear, depression, loneliness, etc. etc. etc.
But no, I laugh in the face of those fears because actually I am happy. Yep, you heard me, I'm 27 years old with no wedding bells sighted in my near future and I am happy. It wasn't always this way. My theory is that in your early 20s that you are obsessed with finding Mr. Right and then there is this blessed reprieve where you realize that you might actually survive on your own. Then the 30s hit and you are again obsessed. Therefore I am living in that part of my life where I have no obsessions (save for ice cream and the amazing new show Lost).
I'm at a point in my life that I'm defined by me and that sounds pretty good. I live alone for the first time in forever and I like it. I have the freedom to make my own schedule, eat pretzels and cookies for dinner and think it is gourmet, choose not to make my bed if I don't feel like it, turn every piece of furniture in my house into part of my closet, go where I want when I want and with who I want, and generally be content with who I am. I remember many wise women telling me that I should take advantage of these single years and enjoy all the blessings that come with them. These were happily married women who had or were raising children but they also remembered the freedom they had when they were single.
Now don't get me wrong. I want to be married some day, I want to be a mother. I am excited to be a wife and mother and to give up this selfish freedom I now have to be able to love my husband and children. BUT that isn't where I am right now. I'm single and I have a choice:
To spend every day waiting for those bells to ring for myself
or
To enjoy each day for what it is before that time
So I choose the latter. Why not enjoy all the things before me now? Why would I pine away for the future waiting as if now was unimportant?
I realize this sounds like some rah-rah pep rally for all the sad single girls out there that can't get a date but that is the exact idea that I'm trying to overcome. It's not that we are biding our time before the right man comes along or that we're making the most out of a bad situation. When did it become expected that everyone must be married or on the way there to be happy. I'm leading a revolt from this perspective and expectation of women. Now don't worry, I'm not leading a feminist charge that says we don't need men or marriage. I'm just throwing out there the idea that every part of our life is worthy. The part where we were in kindergarten and thought boys had cooties, the years of junior high and high school where we had the hugest crush on that boy who sat next to us in history class, the years when marriage actually sounded like something that was possible, the single years, and the lifetime of marriage and family. Each part is important to the next and each can be enjoyed.
If you've made it this far thanks for sticking around. If you're single, go out and enjoy life and the freedom you've been given.
5 Comments:
Hello all. I just wanted to explain the title of today's edition. One of my old roomies use to believe that she made up the song "rain drops keep falling on my head." One day she heard it on the radio or a tape or something and thought that someone had stole her idea. She believed this until junior high I believe. That little story has always brought me laughter so you get a little taste of it today.
I LOVE LOST TOO!!!!
now ya made me go back and check out "the early posts" ;-)
Single is cool.. it gets oooooooold pretty quick though
Steve it took me FOREVER to find where you posted this comment then I got all nerdy and realized I could link to it from my email notification (instant gratification that someone is reading my site). Feel free to check out the early stuff.
Singleness does get old but once you go married you never go back so I say enjoy this time while I can because it is limited.
Feel free to check you out?
Sweet!
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