kpinion

I moved!

2009-06-05T12:30:00.001-05:00

Hey, you've stumbled upon my old blogspot blog. I bought my own little piece of real estate out there in the interweb. Come find me over at www.kpinion.net

See you there.

Classic Katie

2009-06-02T15:02:00.003-05:00

So I haven't posted in a while and I thought to break up the long silence I'd let you in on what I like to refer to as "Classic Katie Moments."

These can take two forms:
1. Some sort of clumsy act in which I:

fall down
trip
break something
hurt myself
hurt someone else by my falling
or any combination of the above

2. Say something out loud that hasn't been fully thought out

This story falls into category #2. So here we go . . .

A few weeks ago while hanging out with a group of friends, one of the guys (a co-worker) commented on our friend's son and how he was eating his dinner in only his diaper. He said something along the lines of that he wished he could eat all his meals the same way. Another guy (who I don't know so well) pipes in saying he likes that idea too.

And this is when the Classic Katie Moment hit. I ever so innocently looked at both these guys and said "See now my mind is picturing you two in your boxers . . ." A small moment of silenced followed and then I realized what I said, as did everyone else. Laughter ensued. Innocent? Yes. Funny for everyone else? Of course. Classic Katie Moment? Always.

The other Mary

2009-04-13T10:23:00.003-05:00

On Sunday, our kids ministry taught what every other kids ministry across the world covered, the resurrection of Christ. I'm pretty confident in saying it was "the lesson" of the day. As I led the kids through a review game over our Bible story, a question was asked, "Who came to visit the tomb?" The answer was of course, "Mary Magdalene and the other Mary." I made a sarcastic crack (that I'm pretty sure only the adult leaders overheard) about feeling sorry for the other Mary because she was the second string Mary.

Let's admit that if your name is Mary, you get a pretty high profile spot in the lineup of women in the Bible. You have Mary, the mother of Jesus, Mary Magdalen, Mary of Martha, Mary, and Lazarus fame, and then there's the other Mary(s). These women were privy to the greatest story ever told and each held a front row seat for different parts of the life of Christ. And then on the final days of Christ's life on earth, they gathered to witness the most unexpected ending to a story they were all part of.

In Christ, each of these women had found a friend, a teacher, a lord, a hope for a future that was almost forgotten, a purpose, an acceptance, a love greater than they had ever known, and a changing self that only comes in the presence of the Savior. But on that last day, they stood and watched as all hope seemed to fade away and the man they had known, had followed, and had learned from, the man in which they placed their hope, trust, and faith, was captured, tried, and sentenced to what would be an unimagined end in their minds. These women gathered at the cross anguished, broken hearted, and in pain to watch their lord suffer death.

I can only imagine the grief and questioning they experienced on that hill. I wonder if they even thought of the promises he had made, the claim to be the Christ, or where they so dispondent from the sight of the physical pain he was subjected to? Could they look past the absolute hurt at watching their friend, maybe the only one who had seen past the muck of their sin to the beauty of life in his love, succumb to the torture and death so wrongly thrust upon him? Were they even thinking of the claims he had made to be the Son of God, of his prediction of his death? Or was the grief so deep and penetrating that hope was lost?

These women, who had experienced life with Christ, were now witnessing his death and I wonder if they thought their own new life might die with him. There is a place where grief is so deep, so overwheming that hope is lost to the shadows and I think these Marys might have been in that place. There are days where the promise of a new dawn, a new day are lost to the darkness of the moment; where we are blinded by the pain to even be able to picture anything else. Sometimes these days come like the one these women experienced, filled with death or loss of hope and sometimes they are days where we just wonder if tomorrow will bring something better than today.

And then that day ended with such overwhelming grief as the women watched Jesus gasp his last breath; taken down from the cross broken, battered and lifeless; wrapped in cloth and rushed to a tomb that was not his own; then experienced the finality of the stone being rolled over the cave marking the end to a life they had joined in. I imagine that was the day that hope died for them too. And so when the Marys returned to the tomb, to show one last act of love and kindness for a man who had given them so much more, they were so filled with grief that the empty tomb held no hope for them but only sorrow.

But that day the great difference between eyes that are human and eyes that are eternal was shown. For they saw a tomb that was robbed and the angel saw a tomb that was conquered. A new day brought with it a long ago promised new reality, one that had banished the sting of death and brought with it a hope that was finally realized. Death had not won on this day, grief and sorrow would not be victorious. And the story these women had participated in had not ended with a man's death on a cross but found its fulfillment with an empty tomb. A new dawn had come, a new day was here, and hope had survived its greatest test.

So how often are we the other Mary? Maybe it's the story of our own lives, where grief and harship seem to triumph over hope, or maybe it's the lives of those we call friends, who we share life with, that go through days where tomorrow doesn't seem possible, where hope if questionable. How will we stand beside them as they struggle through their own trials? Will we believe that hope and promise will somehow overcome the darkness of today? And even if the ending of their story doesn't come out the way we want it, will be rejoice that God has a plan, a wonderous, perfect plan that is always good and always bringing Him glory?

The Marys were part of a story that was overwhelming with its joy and grief. But maybe the point is that they were part of the story, they stayed until the end, whatever it might be.

Prejudice vs. Discernment

2009-04-07T14:36:00.005-05:00

So this post is going to be a little less refined; more thinking and typing without the aid of reason, editing, or even fully developed linear thoughts. So hang in there if you chose to keep reading and respond with your own thoughts, questions, or feel free to push back on things you don't agree with.

At what point in our lives have we formed our core opinions, decisions, or values that will then inherently drive the rest of our lives? This must occur at some point, that we make a choice or arrive at core conviction on something or many things and this affects how we view things we encounter. This can be as small as a dislike for cooked carrots or as large as your religious faith. Either way, there is a moment or many individual moments that direct your future understanding, opinions, and decisions.

Now here's another question, is this good or bad, or can it be both. Can my personal dislike for cooked carrots be valid or prejudice? See, as a child I was forced to eat them and I hated the consistency the . That mushy gushy feeling in my mouth makes me want to vomit. And from that one incident I now have a dislike for all things mushy and gushy, which also leads to my assuming something is mushy and gushy and deciding that I will not like it. I reach this absolute decision without trying the food in question to confirm that I'd would not like it.

Or, take for instance an author, speaker, etc. If I have read an author or heard a speaker before and agreed with or liked what they had to say, I assume that I'll also agree with or like their other works and will seek them out again. Yet, the opposite is true. Also, if there are certain ideas or truths that I've accepted and taken as my own core beliefs I will weigh and evaluate other people's opinions, thoughts, or written works through the prejudice of those beliefs.

Another example from my own life. I read the book On the Road by Jack Kerouac in college and hated it. I was disturbed by the main character's utter disinterest in any type of responsibility or authority, his selfishness and self involvement, and just the path of people he left in his wake as he searched for the meaning of life or his next high. To this day, I have feelings of disgust and dislike toward the book and the work. And yet on a trip to the New York Public Library I saw an exhibit about Jack Kerouac, with the original scroll on which he wrote On the Road, and his life and while I still had those feelings of dislike for his written works and even his own life choices, I was interested in a celebrated, by some, writer and the story of his life.

So is all prejudice bad?

Of course that word brings with it considerable baggage, as it probably should. And yet, I'm prejudice against cooked carrots and Jack Kerouac. I won't eat the carrots and I won't read any other works of Kerouac. Is that wrong? Or have I formed an opinion on my own experiences.

Now, this isn't to say that my opinions are always formed on truth. Because while I might have the option to dislike cooked carrots because I have tried them, can I then judge any other cooked vegetable based on that one experience? A silly example I realize, so let's look at Jack Kerouac. Since I've read and determined my opinion for On the Road can I form an opinion on the rest of the works of Kerouac, or for that matter other Beat movement authors? Can I, or more should I be prejudice toward another author because of my already informed opinion about one in the same movement?

How about a different spin on this idea. Can I read a book, any book, with a truly open mind? Or do I come to things with an already formed opinion about them, in some small form at least, based on my personally held convictions, opinions, and values? And if I do try to read something with an open mind, will I bristle at the things that peak my negative opinions and embrace without much thought those things that I already hold at true?

Can we view things with discernment and yet without prejudice? Are those two things the same or different or are they somehow connected and yet separate?

Working at a church, being in the Christian culture, and having lots of conversations with college kids I've often head the words "I was challenged by this or that". Part of me now wonders if we are really challenged or are we just continually justified in our already held beliefs. For something to truly challenge you, shouldn't it rock something deep within you, or spur you on to change a deep-seeded behavior or belief, shouldn't it shock your preconceived notion about whatever it is that the challenge rises from? Or do we use the word "challenged" because it's what we think we're supposed to say?

I'm not saying that we should question every single value or conviction we hold. Those are huge pillars in our life that form who we are, what we think, and how we live. But is discernment looking at everything we encounter (the things we like, dislike, embrace, and reject) and holding them to a standard that is above our own preconceived opinions and testing them to something that is solid and true. What is truth then? Is it my own version of what I believe, or does it rest outside of me and I'm broken upon it time and again until those values, opinions, and beliefs become something that is less "me" and more "truth"?

Ok, I need to think about this more. Sorry if you're lost or left hanging. I'd love to hear your thoughts. As I said, this is "in process" and much more rough than refined.

Admitting my obsession

2009-04-03T11:43:00.004-05:00

Ok, I'm admitting it, I'm minorly obsessed with Lost.

Now there are some limits to this obsession, case in point: I don't cruise the MANY fan sites, I don't have a screen name like Oceanicgal or Lostie7, I don't hit Amazon.com the moment after the show airs to buy any work of literature (or comic book) mentioned. But I do read two websites about the show, one is ew.com and the other is a blog by people who seem to be just like me, entranced by the story but not overly geekified. I also have a good group of friends who will banter with me about theories, plot lines, and our predictions of how it will all end.

Now, there is ONE thing that might push me over the edge into a form of geekiness that is, well, let's just call it the upper level of nerddom. I have this idea of something to do between the end of this season and the beginning of the next, the FINAL season where all loose ends will be tied up and all our questions will hopefully be answered.

Since I love puzzles and figuring out problems my plan is this: I will watch the prior seasons of LOST and see anew each ep (I use this term for episode because I was told it makes me sound cool and trust me I need all the cool points I can get) with the knowledge I now have. I will also, wait for it here comes the geeky part, takes notes on questions, facts, new plot developments, character connections, and all those little tidbits that I missed along the way OR are huge now in light of future events.

Ok, take a moment and laugh at me, you know you want to.

When I mentioned this to my co-workers, some of which are fellow Lost-watchers and others who are missing out on the amazingness that is this show, they laughed. It's ok, I have a pretty good sense of self worth when it comes to my nerdy tendencies. Then they asked if I was going to turn all John Nash from A Beautiful Mind and have my apartment walls covered in theories and time lines and flow charts. Well not my apartment walls . . . . that's what notebooks are for. I did give them permission to stage an intervention if I started talking about my "friend" Dave who helps me with my theories. (BTW - that was a fun little Lost reference for those of you who might share my obsession and if you don't it's just more fuel for the fire that I'm a nerd).

So that's the plan, we'll see if it happens. Either way I love the show, I love the stories, and I'm obsessed with figuring out the mysteries that surround the story. I think when it comes down to it, I just like problems or riddles that require you to notice small things, connect random dots, and buy into the story to understand the solution.

Anonymity in a crowd of voices

2009-03-31T16:44:00.005-05:00

A recent college grad I've known for the last year was picking my brain on blogging. She expressed interest in having a blog but worried about who would see what she wrote. See, she wanted to write about the experience of planning a wedding: the good, the bad, and the often ugly (yes horrendous bridesmaid dresses that rain down horror and ill-fittingness I'm pointing my finger at you). She was trying to balance the catharsis of talking about the craziness of wedding planning with not hurting anyone's feelings. I suggested having a blog without her name attached and telling no one about it. And then she said the all too true statement of "But then no one will read it."

Even in this world where people can expose their thoughts with almost total anonymity we still want to be heard. Even if what we have to say might hurt someone's feelings or generally piss off a whole other group of people we still want our thoughts to be heard and received. We want the truth of what we think or feel or are dealing with to be known by others.

And there is the trade-off. If you really want what you have to say to be heard you have to give up some of your anonymity. You have to deal with the fall-out of letting others into your thoughts and opinions. Sometimes the price is worth it because you were able to speak what was once unspoken and share what was true to you; but other times the cost is high, too high, and we mute our voices and hold back out thoughts.

How does this play out in real life, outside the blog? What is the cost to returns equation that keeps us silent or pushes us to open our mouths? And is that how we should decide to speak up? Should speaking up or sharing an opinion be based on the reaction we anticipate it receiving or should it be based on something more: truth, honesty, openness, and vulnerability?

Is anonymity good or is it something we hide behind so we don't have to expose our true selves or maybe just even truth?

Letting out the inner monologue

2009-03-26T15:07:00.007-05:00

So after two and a half years in FW, I realized I've squelched my inner monologue that once poored forth so freely on this blog. I'm not sure if it's a lack of subject matter or time, or more just a lack of putting effort into writing out my thoughts, but whatever the reason I'm committing to start posting again. This blog was always more about a place to write that continual conversation that happens in my head between me and myself and have some sort of evidence of what I was processing at the moment. So here goes, a choice to start writing again. We'll see what happens when I start letting the conversations and thoughts transfer to the page.

Do you Posted Note?

2009-02-24T14:33:00.001-06:00

Hey all,
Eddie over at Posted Note is having a contest with awesome prizes. All it takes is a little time and effort and you could win big. Go check it out NOW!

100 calories packs

2009-02-17T10:42:00.003-06:00

On my last trip to Target (they happen often so I probably should mention this was trip three in as many days) I was struck with a thought: Our world is slowly being taken over by 100 calories. Almost every snack or food item is now neatly packaged in a 100 calorie pack. On your next shopping trip look at the astounding number of items that blazenly state they're 100 calories.

Who am I kidding? My pantry is made up of these centennial packs. I sustain myself by the 100 calorie item. See, I've recently taken to recording my food consumption and those little packs are nifty and easy to use. 100 calories here or there make for a quick indulgence in chocolate or marshmallows or salty chips and it's easy to plug them into my iphone log. Wow, I guess I just realized I'm a techie calorie counter.

So now I'm wondering if the 100 pack will extend past the shopping aisles into other things? What if restaurants start offering 100 calorie portions? Or recipes tell you have many 100 calorie servings there are? How great would it be if every bit of food I ate came in 100 calorie portions, bites, or packages.

Hmm, maybe this is evidence of my organized/number crunching/pieces fitting together obsession or maybe the world is becoming one big 100 calorie pack.

Merry-go-round

2009-01-12T15:11:00.002-06:00

As a kid I always love the merry-go-round, maybe it was due to my aversion to roller coasters. The bright lights and fancy horses draw you in to a magical world of sight and sounds. Up, down, up, down, round and round you go. The music plays and the lights flash and there you go up and down, round and round.

But the problem with a merry-go-round is that you end up right back where you started. For with all the distance you travelled on your mighty steed, you've only gone in a circle. So much time, so much perceived distance but really it's a joy ride to the same place you've always been.

Life feels like that at times. I'm entranced by the lights and sounds, the pretty colors and the rush of the crowd. So I climb on my horse ready for an adventure or journey, only to end up going up and down and round and round. And for all the distance I travel and time I spend, I'm back at the same place I started.

What if there was a way to take my horse out into the open? To break free like that scene in Mary Poppins. No more up and down, round and round, but a full on sprint into the world.

What would life be like if it wasn't lived on a merry-go-round but in a freedom induced run into the world, spending all your time going somewhere, anywhere, and ending up in a different place than you started?

Inventory

2008-12-30T11:38:00.002-06:00

Following in the footsteps of some good friends, Chirky and Binky (heck with those names Kpinion sounds down right normal), I'm sharing with you the contents of my ~~duffel bag~~ purse. Now I have to admit I upgraded from a normal size purse (still able to hold a small dog if needed though I have promised myself to never become one of those people) to a full fledged could pass for a school bag tote/purse so I have more room but haven't really taken advantage of that at all times.

Here we go:

Rubbermaid 7 cup plastic food container
Can of Campbells Select harvest chicken noodle soup (lunch)
Wallet
Iphone
Ipod
Ear phones
Small notebook
Laminated Tax Exempt form (for work)
Check stub
Couple pieces of folded paper
Checkbook
Nail File
A pretty Cross pen in case that belonged to my grandmother
Mechanical pencil
A "katie" pen in hot pink (note: I usually have an abundance of these but today only one)
"Look Ma, new hands" lotion (heaven for my skin)
Burts Bees Lip Balm
C.O. Bigelow Lip Balm
Burts Bees Super Shiny Lip Gloss in Zesty Red
Clinique Lip Gloss in Juicy Apply
Estee Lauder Gloss in Cherry (a crazy red that I don't wear)
Clinique Color Surge impossibly glossy
Liplicious Tasty Lip Color (Dipped Strawberry - YUMMY)
California Pizza Kitchen receipt (from Sunday afternoon)
Keys
My set of valet keys (not sure why these are in here)
A package of Halls Defense Vitamin C drops in Strawberry
Two granola bars (Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip flavor is you were intersted)
A travel container of assorted meds (advil, aleve, and tylenol)
A few said pills in the bottom of my purse
Eclipse mints in a tin with a lid that always comes open
A few said mints in the bottom of my purse
Kleenex pocket pack
Eye drops for contact wearers
Powder Compact
A mirror compact
A hershey kiss
A small reeses peanut butter cup
A bandaid
A Pappas bros. pack of matches
A roll of smarties
1 penny
6 bobby pins

That's all folks. The sad thing is there's plenty of room for a sweatshirt or small child.

Feeling like a kid again

2008-12-09T13:49:00.003-06:00

What is it about Christmas that makes me feel like a kid? The decorations, smells (cookies, pine needles, and log fires), weather (cold and if you're lucky SNOW), friends and family, traditions? Maybe it's a little bit of everything all wrapped up in a present at the foot of the tree that makes me feel like I'm 5 in fuzzy footed pajamas with a mug of hot chocolate.

Last night "A Charlie Brown Christmas" was on TV and I had to stop and watch it and let myself become a child again. I love Charlie Brown, that poor kid who can't seem to get things right the first go round but has a heart too big for his yellow and brown sweater. I also love this cartoon because it so simply sets the stage for the Christmas holiday season. Even the kids of Peanuts get sucked into the commercialization of this holiday until one little tree that was headed for the chipper gets given a chance and Linus (oh sweet Linus) reminds everyone what the holiday is supposed to be about.

So watch and enjoy and join me with your cup of hot cocoa and your footed pajamas and take in the wonders of the season as you remember that's it's not about the sights and sounds but about something greater, bigger, and a promise that we're all waiting to see fulfilled.

I found this video on another blog, and unfortunately I closed the window before getting the address so I could properly give credit to the man who made this. So this is a thank you to Mr. Dixon for putting together this little video.

100,000

2008-11-13T09:46:00.006-06:00

A few weeks ago my odometer rolled past the landmark of one hundred thousand miles. In fact, I didn't notice it until about fifty miles past the magic number. And while this huge number marks a lot of wear and tear on my poor car it also chronicles about 5 years of my life. Thankfully it's a Toyota so I'm convinced it will work until I drive it off of a cliff "Thelma and Louise style".

I remember buying my car which was, of course, my first grown up purchase. Before this, I had driven, wait for it, a Dodge Caravan and Chevrolet Caprice in high school (my coolness overwhelms you, I know) and then a Plymouth something-or-other and a Ford Taurus. Wow, I drove old lady cars. I will say that I have some great memories from those cars though. You'd be surprised just how many people you can pack into a Caprice, it's astounding.

When I was able to purchase my own car I steered clear of the land barges and soccer mom vehicles. Instead I wanted something grown up and yet fun that would outlive me if possible. A car is so utilitarian on one hand and a status symbol on the other. We pour over miles per gallon (now more than then), maintenance requirements, cloth or leather seating, power locks vs. the ancient crank windows, and then moon roof, sun roof, no roof. Even the color is important, do you want to blend or stand out? In my case, my speed while driving makes me stand out so I went for a blendable color, white in case you were wondering. We think through leg room, head room, and trunk space for those dead bodies we might one day haul or groceries if you live a boring life. We contemplate how high up or low to the ground we will sit, I guess choosing if we want to actually squash people in smaller cars or maybe skirt through the undercarriage of a semi.

The one thing I didn't think about as I signed away five years of car payments was where my car would take me. Those 100,000 miles represented payments and gas tanks but more than that, they represented the places I would go (insert a Dr. Seuss reference here). From the everyday drive to work or the grocery store to road trips and family visits, my car has taken me all kinds of places.

I like numbers, they give a sense of measurement and history. With each mile tallied on my car comes the history of where I went and why. Trips to south Texas for holidays, birthdays, funerals, and family events all add to the big number. Those twice weekly trips to Dallas for bible study from which lifelong friendships grew. A long drive in my car on a Saturday afternoon when I wanted to think or not think and just listen to music with the windows down.

Memories, stories, and miles all represented in that six digit number right there on my dash. What if other things in our life kept a tally: shoes that marked the steps taken exploring New York City, phones that log the hours spent having a heart wrenching talk with a friend, a stomach that counted all those calories resulting from chocolate chip cookies, keyboards that keep track of the words written in a lifetime.

One hundred thousand miles and counting.

It's like Christmas

2008-11-04T16:35:00.002-06:00

I just wrote an email to the group leader for my weekly Bible study in which I explained to her that I was going to sneak out early so I can watch election results. Yep, I'm a nerd.

Her reply included the party line by the large group leader about polls not closing until 9, and I already voted so I couldn't change anything, and yada, yada, yada. She then mentioned that she thought of me during that whole discussion and how I had skipped out early on the same Bible study years ago to catch the end of the State of the Union (did I mention I'm a nerd?) So I responded with my ever growing rebellious tone that I'm a freak when it comes to politics and governement and Election Day is like Christmas to me and I had no problem skipping out early on Bible study no less.

Seriously, it doesn't matter that my vote has been cast already or that polls won't close until 9pm CST, I want to watch it all happen! It's like opening Christmas presents, most of the fun is in unwrapping them and being surprised. I want to listen to the commentators talk about exit polls and put up precinct reports. I want to watch as the states turn from gray to blue or red. In fact, if I would have planned better I would have made my own electoral college counter with a big map of the US and a state cut-out in red and blue that I could then tap to my wall. I would tally the electoral college points and tally after each state was called.

This is my holiday people and I want to celebrate it my way.

So if you haven't, go out and cast your vote. Do it now, do it because you can, do it because someone actually gave their life so that you had the freedom to have your voice heard and counted. And then, when you're done, you can come and sit on my couch with me and watch the results come in.

Stumped

2008-10-23T14:05:00.003-05:00

It's funny for me to think that for almost two years I wrote a blog post practically daily and yet for the last two years I've been averaging one or two a month. I'm not sure if it's that I have less time to write or I have less things to write. Or maybe, it's a combination of both.

Oh I still think, boy do I think. But my thoughts are often left to rattle around in my brain than to go from pen to paper, or in my case, keyboard to screen. I do miss writing though. For being a more analytical, practical, administrative type person, writing always seemed to be my one creative outlet. It was a place for all the thoughts, questions, ideas, etc. that crowd my ever turning mind to find release.

So, I'm going to try to write more. Trust me it won't be a post a day, I've got too much going on for a goal like that. But maybe just a post a week. So if you're still out there internet I'm going to start speaking again. And if you're gone, that's ok, honestly I never wrote for you but more for me.

In shock

2008-09-16T14:48:00.003-05:00

Below is a picture, post-Ike, of the coastal town of our family's beach cabins - Canal City. Devastation isn't really the right word to describe that there is ONE home left standing from a neighborhood of dozens. It's a bit surreal to think this beach house, built by my grandfather and his buddies over 50 years ago, was obliterated by wind and water.

The comforting thing is that I know all the many memories I have of this beach house and time there with my family there can't be taken away by a hurricane.

Olympics

2008-08-15T14:22:00.003-05:00

Since the 12 hour time difference between China and Texas has led to many a late nights watching the Olympics I've had some time to ponder what event I would be able to compete in if I had a chance at a slot on the Olympic team.

Running is most definitely out. I'm more of a turtle than a hare.
Swimming is probably a no-go since I never learned how to breath and swim at the same time.
Gymnastics has no chance since balance is my mortal weakness.

Hmmm what does this leave? Weightlifting - nope, fencing - good idea but not sure I have the skills, maybe I need to look at the more non-famous sports.

I found it! Yep, I know what I will try out for next Olympic go-round. I would be perfect as the person that yells out "STROKE" in the crew competitions. I'm loud, I can keep tempo, and it requires really only those two things.

So in four or maybe 8 years, I might have a medal in hand for being the best yeller to keep time there is in the world.

Nature or Nurture?

2008-07-22T11:05:00.002-05:00

In my case . . . . BOTH!

My mom is throwing a wedding shower for her best friend's daughter and I am the go-to expert. This expertise is assumed by my mom because as she says, "You're young and always going to parties, so you know more than me." By the way, I've been waiting my whole life to hear my mom say "you know more than me", though I wasn't imagining it to be in relation to showers.

Last night on the phone, she mentioned an email she had sent me with some information on invitations. Then she commented "You'll probably blog about me after you read it." With a comment like that, how could I not?

So today after reading the email, this line stuck out to me "since I'm quite anal and long winded - you might want to print this email (sorry about that)!" Ha, if you know me than you know that sentence is pretty much a great description of me too.

So if there is ever any question . . . . I am my mother's daughter.

The power

2008-06-18T15:30:00.003-05:00

Ok, so being a Children's Ministry Director doesn't come with a whole lot of power and stature. But there is one week where I inherit ultimate power with endless possibilities. The type of power that allows me to require my co-workers to dress up in crazy costumes that include gold jeans, leather pants, and shiny lizard-skin shirts. Now pull your mind out of whatever gutter you've found yourself and realize that our VBS theme is about special agents in space. Hence the gold, leather, and lizard skin.

Obviously since it only happens once a year, I'm getting lots of pictures of this hilarious event. Maybe I'll use them as blackmail for a new playground or more cheerios. Hey, a girl's gotta use what she has available to her.

Gardens

2008-06-16T15:30:00.002-05:00

I find it interesting that Christ is referred to as the last Adam. For the first and only God-Man is tied closely to the first man made by God.

In fact, when God created Adam, he formed him out of dust and dirt, he wasn't born, he didn't grow up, he just became. And yet, Christ, who was human and yet also God, was formed in the womb. He grew by his cells dividing and multiplying, forming organs and body parts. Both created by God in body and form, both perfect in their creation, and each would face a choice that would define their lives and ours.

Adam dwelled in the presence of God, he walked and talked with Him (sidenote: this amazes me and blows my mind) in the Garden of Eden. He didn't suffer hunger, thirst, want, or any other trial or need we now find part of our life. Adam's body was perfect, complete, and eternal. His existence was idyllic until one fateful choice. The one time he faced the option to oppose God he jumped at it. There is no record of Adam struggling with his decision, debating the outcome or consequences. The Bible simply says he ate. In that one choice the path of man was eternally altered.

Christ, on the other hand, was born into temptation. He entered the world not in a divine body but one that began breaking down the moment he took his first breath. Christ suffered every trial, tribulation, need, etc. that man would encounter: hunger, thirst, temptation (those three taking place at the hand of Satan in a face to face showdown), loneliness, brokenness, deception, rejection, and more. In the midst of all these temptations Christ stood firm, he suffered through the trials but He didn't fall to the temptation.

Yet one night we get a glimpse of the man Christ and his toughest trial. Alone in a garden, on the eve of His death, we see Christ wrestle with temptation. He is in anguish, both physically and mentally, a battle waring within himself. Christ could have walked away. He could have made the choice to not follow through with the cross. If he couldn't than why the anguish? Why the pleading with God for a different way?

This is where we see the greatest difference between Adam and Christ. Adam chose self in his garden while Christ chose us in his. Both decisions reach into eternity and change the course of man. One brought death and the other life. One was made without a thought, instinct maybe, or just the ease of sin. The other was made after a battle of wills, sweat, tears, and pleading.

What do I learn about myself in these two men in their gardens with their choices? Are my choices for self and sin, made without a thought, an instinct that is deep within me? Do I battle with God to chose His will and way, pleading for something else, but submitting to His leading? I don't think the battle is that wrong when it signifies that I know His truth and I'm honest with my struggle to live it. The wrong is how quickly I can chose self without a thought to Him.

We each possess a part of both Adams. Our flesh is born of the first one always seeking self with no thought to the consequences. Our spirit is born of the second, loving God so much we battle the other to submit to His will

I hope when I find myself in my gardens, I'm willing to have the battle with God, to suffer the anguish and pain that comes when both my parts war over what I will chose.

It's lonely at the top

2008-06-04T16:19:00.002-05:00

My friend, co-worker, and fellow blogger Ben posted something recently about loneliness vs. being alone. Go read the post for yourself, because it's well thought out and interesting (Ben's one of those good thinker types), but I'll give you the cliff notes version. He's thinking trought the difference, if there is one, between loneliness and being alone and how we interact with those two states of being.

In a related situation, I was talking with a friend recently about what had been going on in our lives and as she began to describe what she was feeling and experiencing I could relate. As she grasped for a one-word description I ventured a guess with "lonely". That was it, but not specifically the loneliness that comes with being absent from people or even a feeling of aloneness, but more of a longing and emptiness that you recognized slowly at first and then with overwhelming depth. It was something more than related to people but internal, personal, and not easily solved by immersing oneself in the crowd.

I have more thoughts on this and an answer to Ben's questions posed over on his post, but I would love to hear your thoughts.

How do you define loneliness? Being alone?

Is there a difference between the two, if so what?

One Look

2008-05-09T13:34:00.011-05:00

The same eyes that he had looked into numerous times and yet at that moment they carried a different message.

Luke 22:31-34

31"Simon, Simon, behold,Satan demanded to have you,that he might sift you like wheat, 32but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again,strengthen your brothers." 33Peter said to him, "Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death." 34Jesus said, "I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day, until you deny three times that you know me."

Luke 22: 54-62

54Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest’s house, and Peter was following at a distance. 55 And when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat down among them. 56Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, "This man also was with him." 57But he denied it, saying, "Woman, I do not know him." 58And a little later someone else saw him and said, "You also are one of them." But Peter said, "Man, I am not." 59And after an interval of about an hour still another insisted, saying, "Certainly this man also was with him, for he too is a Galilean." 60But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are talking about." And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. 61And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, "Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times." 62And he went out and wept bitterly.

We want to believe that there was judgement in that look, an "I told you so" or "I'm so disappointed in you". And yet, I believe that within those eyes was a look of deep compassion and love. This was Christ's last teaching moment for Peter, the last lesson to impart before His death. All the judgement that Peter felt in his failure was of his own creation. Christ looked not to condemn but to love, to remind Peter of all His words. Oh Peter would stumble and fall, his failure would be public and piercing, but redemption was promised, and a greater redemption than Peter could even imagine.

I like to theorize what Peter felt and thought in that moment. Humiliation, fear, and maybe even a jab at his pride. For it was pride that Jesus had tried to point out to Peter, it was pride that had to be broken for love to fully exist. When Peter met eyes with Jesus, I wonder if he played in his head the conversation from earlier, if he heard every word as if Christ was speaking them in that one look. But I think Peter focused in on just a portion of that conversation, the one that pointed out his failure and faults. We do that too. It's hard to remember the promise of forgiveness and redemption when we're face to face with betraying the one we love, watching our pride in action, and doing it all after swearing we're better than that.

I also wonder if Peter could grasp Christ's words and promise without experiencing them come to fruition. Can we know the depth of our pride without seeing it exposed to the world? Can we hear the empty promises we make out of passionate excitement without seeing our failure to keep them? Can we know the depth of love and forgiveness without knowing our desperate need? And lastly, could Peter understand the ultimate fulfillment of Christ's promise for forgiveness and redemption without seeing his friend and Lord on the cross?

Why is grace so much harder to accept than judgement? Is it because as humans we naturally posses judgement in our hearts? This isn't to say that judgement is evil, but our version of it, riddled with animosity, hatred, and pride is a far cry from the righteous judgement of a holy and perfect God. No, I think that human judgement is easy and so we expect it, sometimes we even feel more comfortable with it because we know it and we can to an extent control it. But grace, the grace of a God who knows you will deny Him and yet promises you He will forgive and make you better and then proves that so vividly by marching to the cross and dying, that is foreign to us.

And so when we read this story, I think we often assume that Christ eyes betray His disappointment, His anger, His judgement. And yet, those aren't the eyes of a Savior, those aren't the eyes of a Redeemer. The one who would willfully lay down His life must have eyes filled with love deeper than we can convey with our own.

And in that one look, Peter probably missed the lesson. It took three long days for Him to understand that he had spent three years looking into the eyes of one who would not bring judgement but life.

One look.

How long will we miss the lesson?

***Thank you to my dear friend Margaret, who in her words of wisdom and encouragement gave me the idea to write this post.***

Question

2008-05-07T15:38:00.001-05:00

Which invention had a greater impact . . . . sliced bread or the internet?

Discuss.

Really, I want your opinion. I'll share mine eventually.

Oh so true . . . . .

2008-05-01T14:07:00.003-05:00

In case you didn't know I am a Children's Ministry Director at a church in Fort Worth. Wow, that's a lot of personal information to put up on the internet, but some of you think my real name is Kpinion so really I'm not worried about the crazies out there tracking me down. (please note I'm seriously considering naming any daughter I have kpinion, because I might as well prepare myself for the type of little girl I will produce!)

Well ,with this job comes lots of opportunities to laugh at myself and what I do, ex. that time a 2 year old puked all over me right before I went up on stage in front of a hundred or so people. That was fun . . . . and yet somehow pretty normal in my world.

So when I found this post on an amazing blog, http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com , it rang oh so true.

Leftovers

2008-04-28T13:52:00.003-05:00

Memories of the feast still linger in my head.

I sit at a table set with such splendor, beautiful china and silver laid out for each person. Dishes overflowing with food fulfilling every desire. My eyes drift to the Host, seated at the head of the table. And even from a distance He has the ability to make each guest feel like they are at an intimate dinner alone with Him. We share amazing food and deep conversation. A free flow of talking and listening, sharing fears, hopes, and dreams. Long after we begin, the food never diminishes and the conversation never lulls. Surely the Host wishes His guests would return to their own homes, their own lives. But no, His home is open to all for as long as we desire to stay. He never tires of hearing me speak, He never falters with an answer of wisdom or encouragement. At time we just sit, enjoying the presence of the other, words unnecessary.

And then in the midst of comfort and belonging, my mind turned to other things. Deadlines, to-do lists, my life outside of the banquet began to tug at my thoughts. Somehow, someway I found myself pulling out of conversation, avoiding eye contact with the Host. I withdrew from the midst of them.

As I sit here, far from the banqueting table and the presence of the Host my thoughts return to that time. I look at the plate of leftovers He sent with me. The food is the same and serves the function of nourishment, but it's a shadow of the feast it once was. And while it sustains me, it fails to fill me. The memories of those moments, sitting face to face with Him flood my mind. I yearn to be back there, feasting on new, fresh food that never lacks, sitting so intimately with Him, hearing His voice and knowing He hears mine. Yet, here I sit, eating leftovers from the place I want to be.

The invitation is always open. The Host glances at the empty chair waiting for my return, for the conversation to flow free again, for Him to share with me the bounty of His feast, His encouraging words of wisdom, and an ear who listens intently knowing my heart.

Even knowing my place is always open, I once again pull out the leftovers and mourn that I am not at the table. Desiring so much to return to where I once sat and for some reason struggling to find my way back. And so I pull out the leftovers again.

Stuff . . . . (sometimes known as baggage)

2008-04-18T11:39:00.002-05:00

Driving home the other night I glanced at the car next to me at a stoplight. The driver was barely visible threw a collection of "stuff". Boxes, bags, piles, and most interestingly pine cones filled his car.

Now we've all seen cars like this. I realize that for some people their vehicle is also the place they call home, others have an obsession with collecting everything they put their hands on, and then some people are just messy. Yet, as I looked with shock, awe, and I'll admit a bit of humor (pine cones? at least a few dozen of them?) I wondered what stuff I carry around with me at all times.

I wonder if these people know what it's like to have a clean car, one where a friend can join you for a road trip, one where you can enjoy the view through all the windows? And then I think of my life, of the stuff that overwhelms me and crowds out the free space for new opportunities, new adventures, new relationships.

If you haven't figured out, I'm not talking about stuff here but that great little word that's hip in therapy circles called "baggage". The stuff we hold on to for no other reason than to carry it with us through life, oftentimes much like some of those overfilled cars out there. Baggage has a tendency to weigh us down, separate us from other people, and block out the opportunity for a clear view of the horizon.

I don't have all the answers on how to get rid of baggage, and I'm not sure we ever will. Hey, my trunk carries it's own share of junk, but at least it doesn't block my shotgun seat or the view out my back window. Nope, it was just a question to ask myself as I pulled up alongside a car overwhelmed by stuff. How much of my "stuff" overwhelms me?

Please Read

2008-04-09T13:14:00.002-05:00

Hey everyone, both of my sisters work for CPS and Kristen passed on the following:

Not sure this is were to put this but I am asking for a prayer request for all of the women and children in Eldorado. Most everyone has seen on the new what is going on down there. I have personally been a part of it and believe the right thing is being done. But it is heart breaking to see these children and young mothers scared about the unknown and the "outside." I also sympathize with these individuals who have been taken from thier home, some have never left thier "ranch" and are being taken and questioned about thier religion. It is a hard situation for everyone involved, and I hope for peace and understand from all involved, including those being taken from thier home. They deserve and are being treated with the upmost respect. Even though most do not agree with what they believe in, everyone has the right to believe in what they want. The only problem is the illegal aspect of part of thier beliefs. So please if you get a chance, pray not only for the women and children, but all of the workers and individuals given the hard task of implementing what a judge has told us to do.Thanks

Contemplating

2008-04-03T14:15:00.004-05:00

I read this quote in a book recently:

"Never settle for an Ishmael when you can have an Isaac."

It was a little quote in the middle of dialogue in a fiction novel. Nothing profound really, just a piece of advice one character gave to another. And yet since reading it (again in fact, as I've read the book before) I've had a hard time getting it out of my head.

If you're confused by who Ismael and Isaac are, here's the cliff notes version: Abraham (from the Bible) is promised a son by God, even though he's pretty old as is his wife, Sarah. Well patience didn't seem to be their strong points so Sarah, gave her handmaiden, Hagar, to Abraham to produce a child . . . Ishmael. The problem was that God had promised a child for Abraham through Sarah, not Hagar. So here you have a son, the first born in fact, that isn't the child of promise. And then of course, God kept His promise, and Sarah had Isaac. Drama ensues as you have two sons, one of promise and one of people.

So this comment keeps popping up in my head and I ask myself how often to I settle for the Ishmael. How often do I create a solution to a problem and even though it's not God's solution or even his promised/intended outcome do I settle for it because it's an answer and it's an answer now.

I want the Isaacs, I want God's answers and solutions but often I settle for my answers because they are on my timeline.

So I'm still thinking on this one so you might see more about it soon. But let me leave you with this question: What Ishmaels are you settling for in your life? What Isaacs are you not willing to wait for and so create Ishmaels?

Crazy Town

2008-03-18T13:11:00.003-05:00

Went to New York. Five days of jam packed hours of sightseeing, exploring, eating, etc. Came back from New York.

Went back to work at building. Painted, steamed wallpaper, cleaned, hauled, etc. Still at the building.

Sunday is our first service in our new building. The building that allows me to not wake up at 6am on Sunday morning so I can be at the old building to set up our children's area. I'm excited, overwhelmed, and thinking through my list of stuff to still get done before Saturday.

Oh and you need much less shampoo with short hair but the trade off is that you have to spend 20 minutes blow drying it.

The end.

Hmmmm this seems backwards

2008-03-06T17:02:00.002-06:00

So as of this moment my car is covered in 3-4 inches of HUGE snowflakes. The sheer size of these things rival the blizzard/white-out conditions that kept me in Colorado for an extra day back in Janaury. And yet I'm off to New York where it will undoubtly be cold but only cold and wet. Then the forcast says when I return to Texas it will be a nice and sunny 73.

What the heck?

Oh well, I'm off to New York tomorrow if my plane doesn't get snowed in. Wow what an ironic statement to make seeing that I'm heading from Dallas to New York and you usually don't have to worry about snow on this end. Oh well, NYC here I come. Hopefully I'll return with pics and stories!

10 inches

2008-03-04T11:53:00.002-06:00

That's how much hair I just donated to Locks of Love. I was a bit hesitant to go short, but knowing that those 10 inches go to someone who doesn't have the luxury of debating on how much hair to cut made it an easy decision.

Glimpses

2008-02-26T10:28:00.002-06:00

I tuned in Sunday night for the Oscar ceremonies. Honestly, I saw only a few of the movies nominated (Atonement and Juno) and I don't really keep up on the craft of acting, directing, editing, sound mixing, etc. Yet, there is something that draws me each year to watch a fairly self-obsessed industry congratulate itself. Maybe, it's the pretty dresses or the comedy or the random moments of audacity that occur when you have a room full of performers semi-live (that 5 second delay prevents some of the truly honest moments).

This year might have been my favorite Oscar experience, if only for the glimpses of true humility and delight in some of the winners. Sure there are those people who feel they deserve recognition for their work, the academy owes them a pat on the back and they sit smugly in their seat waiting for their named to be called, their peers to rise in applause and their egos to be stroked once again on their amazing achievement. Then there are those people who sit in their seat with a look of disbelief that they were even invited, that their name is mentioned among others of such stature, that the honor of even having a seat on the floor (near the front) might push them over the edge. Then when you watch their face as their name is called you see that glimpse of shock, awe, fear, excitement, and glee that is so refreshing it makes you smile and want to stand in applause for them.

Two such cases stuck out to me on Sunday night, Marion Cotillard who won for Best Actress and Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova who won for Best Song. From the looks on their faces as their names were announced to the humble and joyful speeches (if you can call them that) they gave in thanks I was impressed and taken back by the humility of three people who took complete pride in what they did and were flabbergasted to have been honored for something they love to do.

Humility is something we search for but rarely find. In a world of self gratification, self absorption, self obsession, and just plain self the humble spirit is squashed by our clamoring to compete and be better than the guy next to us. Now humility isn't self-depreciation or even lack of self worth but it's a special quality that is quietly sufficient in the knowledge that you gave your best and you don't need accolades to confirm that for you. It's a contentment with self that is possessed within you instead of determined by the ebb and flow of opinions of others.

We seek for humility but how often do we celebrate it? We call it a fresh breeze but seem to only notice it in the stifling air of arrogance and pride. Why is humility the exception and not the norm?

Voices

2008-02-19T15:43:00.002-06:00

The last week has been a confluence of what some people might call coincidence but I like to consider providence.

*Sidenote: Why don't we use that word anymore, providence? It seems to have gone by the wayside with the pilgrims or those old souls of bygone times who weren't afraid to call it when God stepped in and made His presence or hand known.

So in the midst of all these things coming together I had a great conversation with a kindergartener on Sunday that went a bit like this:

Hudson: You know the first thing I want to do when I go to heaven?

Me: What?

Hudson: Talk to God cause I want to know what His voice sounds like.

Me: Me too, Hudson. I can't wait to hear His voice.

The truth is, I can't wait to hear God's voice, to see if it sounds anything like James Earl Jones (my guess for the closest comparison). I can't wait to hear Him call my name and to know the sound of it. But in the meantime, my thoughts wander to this: How can I hear the voice of God now? How can I listen to hear His voice?

So, thanks Hudson for showing me the faith of a child, that honest, real, and expectant faith that grasps hold of the thought of hearing the voice of God and shares that hope with a huge smile on your face.

The problem with "fixing"

2008-02-15T13:41:00.002-06:00

FIX IT!

If you ever want to test the patience of a person give them a task, deadline, or goal and then hand them the one thing they need to accomplish this "something" broken. Talk about a trying situation. I see this everyday in my life when the copy machine has a paper jam, my computer won't bring up my email, I get a busy signal while on the phone, or the mother of all frustrations - TRAFFIC. Now there are those people who will dig in their heels, scream, and hit something (in the case of the copy machine that is) and then there are the "problem solvers" that quickly assess and make alternate plans or creatively make it work.

Ok, take the same situation and apply it to your life . . . . to your future . . . . to your heart. There are those things in life that we encounter that seem to be broken: the single man waiting for "the one" to marry, the wife who longs to be a mother but is finding those hopes dashed, the out of work 20-something that can't figure out their passion, or the Christian who finds themselves in a dark place of monotany and mechanical faith. You often see the same reactions as above, those who bemoan their predicament and those who seek to "fix it."

Now my question is this, is "fixing it" the right thing to do? Oh I admire all those who pull up their belts and get to work on making things better but is that all their trying to do? Are they getting to the goal in any way possible? And is that a good thing?

Focusing on the first and the last examples let's take a look at the outcomes:

Single man/woman longing to be married. Quick fix: Get married. It doesn't matter who, when, where, just get to the goal. The box is checked off, you accomplished the task, but was this the outcome you wanted? Is this what you hoped and dreamed for?

Christian in that place beyond questioning their faith but still lacking the passion they might have once heldfast. Quick fix: pray, read, study, talk the talk until you end up walking the walk or better fake it till you make it. Really? Is that the path to passion? Can passion be found in the mechanical quick fixes we immediately go to (or are led to believe (i.e taught) are what we should do)?

I often find myself in situations where I know the answers, I know the steps to "fix it" but a part of me holds back because they feel so mechanical, so goal driven, so end result focused. And while there is nothing I would want more than to reach the goal and hold that trophy (whatever it is) high in the air, I can't help but stop myself from going through another step by step fix it list. I want more, I want something real, something hard and difficult, something that doesn't look neat and clean and have a sure fire result at the end. I want real and often real isn't found with a "fix it".

Update

2008-02-06T09:52:00.000-06:00

So I'm trying to get back in the swing of things by blogging semi-regularly. Oh yes I do remember that time in my life when I blogged uber-consistently (say 5 days a week), but those days are long gone. I guess my current job/profession/life-altering 24 hour commitment showed just how much free time I had back in the day.

So an update:

1. I'm busy. Not the oh a few too many social commitments this month type busy, but "oh my gosh my calendar has never had so many notes jotted on it busy". Just to give you a taste let me ruminate (what a good word) on my upcoming "events". Weekly I have the following:

Sunday - church (7am to 1:30pm) - gotta love the mobile church (and I do, really, don't ask me this on Sunday at 7am and you'll get a more honest answer)

Monday - my day off, but really who are we kidding it's a semi-work day and a semi-sleep in day, then at night I get the awesome opportunity to co-lead a small group of college students who shock me each week with thier vulnerability and honesty about their life with God (oh and they make fun of me for being old - but hey I'm still cool in their eyes so who cares)

Tuesday - WORK and then BSF after my weekly drive to Big D (that's Dallas for those of you not in the know)

Wednesday - WORK and then Community Group with some gals from my church

Thursday - WORK

Friday - WORK

Saturday - SLEEP, well that and anything else that pops up

Oh and then there's the upcoming BIG events in my life:

NEW BUILDING - yep, our church is in the process of buying our own building. This is super exciting and such a blessing but also means that my weekends (and who are we kidding, my weeks too) in the month of march will consist of being at the building every waking moment

NEW YORK - oh yeah, I'm heading out with my mom, my sisters, and my friend kristi to the Big Apple for 5 days of fun

And well that's about it. It's a lot and it means I'm busy but I'm hoping to jump back into blogging a bit more consistently.

So what's up with you?

I can’t

2008-01-23T13:35:00.000-06:00

I wrote this back in 2006 and stumbled across it again. Figured it was worth remembering.

I can’t see you.

You look to this world to find me; I am not of this world. You look for the seen, I am the unseen. Look not with your eyes, look with your heart. I am here, you can see me when you look beyond what you expect, when you look beyond what you know, when you look with eyes that search for what is unseen, what is unknown, what is there within your heart. Lift your eyes child, lift your eyes.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18

I can’t hear you.

My voice is always there, whispering to you and sometimes shouting. My words flow throughout your mind; my teachings ingrained in you. You don’t hear because you seek answers that aren’t mine. You don’t hear because you listen for something other than my voice. Open your heart to hear my words, listen for the soft melody of my voice. I am always speaking to you, take the time to be silent and listen. I speak to your soul, I whisper to your heart. My Holy Spirit speaks the words “I love you” to the rhythm of your heartbeat.

However, as it is written:
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.
We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. I Corinthians 2:9-13

I can’t feel you.

My hands formed you, knit you together, and my touch has never moved from you. My arms are ever supporting you, leading you, comforting you, and sometimes holding on fast to you, lest you run away. You don’t realize that my touch is always there. You want earth shattering movement, a swift and firm squeeze, and those come at times, but my touch, my constant touch is gentle and you take it for granted. Feel with your heart; find comfort in my constant embrace, remember, remember my hands have never left you from your creation to when I will hold you in my presence.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139: 13-16

More than happy to not be "skinny"

2008-01-11T16:24:00.000-06:00

On my weekly (who am I kidding it's almost a daily obsession) stop at Starbucks I noticed they are promoting their new "skinny" drinks. Non-fat, no-whip, sugar-free syrup and lo and behold they have mocha as an option now. In a effort to not drink myself into obesity I usually choose non-fat no-whip mochas (much like diet dr pepper, after a while it tastes sweet) so I thought I would try the "skinny mocha".

TASTED LIKE BUTT!

After lconsidering the calorie and fat difference, I'll take my 50 extra calories and 1 gram of fat to enjoy something that tastes way better than licking the feet of a marathon runner.

Schwoop Schwoop

2007-12-28T09:19:00.001-06:00

In four days I leave for the white slopes of Crested Butte, CO. I'm somewhere between excited and nervous. See I've been skiing five times so you would think that I'm a fairly decent skier. And I am but it took some work to get there . . . oh about three years biding my time in ski school. I am what you call "accident prone", "clumsy", "uncoordinated", and any other adjectives to describe someone who has taken a ride DOWN the ski lift, hitched a ride with ski patrol after being stranded on the side or a run, and slid down an entire run on her bum.

Luckily the fifth time was the charm (oh I can't do it in just three, nope, that would be too predictable) and I had the best year of skiing, until the blizzard that is. See I had the perfect day of skiing our second day on the mountain: no fear, great speed and agility, I ROCKED the mountain. Then the blizzard struck before our third day of skiing and I messed up my knee going down a run with snow up to my thighs.

So I'm hoping after a 4 year break that I'll be able to pick it back up.

Tradition

2007-12-21T14:56:00.000-06:00

This time of year seems to be filled with tradition. From how you celebrate Christmas, to how you decorate your home, the exact way in which you open presents, and how you spend time with loved ones, each day invokes things you have done many time before.

Well it looks like I will have my own little tradition in my speck of the internet and it becomes official this year. Two years ago I wrote the following post to mark the Christmas season. Since I said it best the first time around, let this now become Katie's official Christmas post.

Enjoy!

http://www.kpinion.net/2005/12/what-child-is-this.html

Under Pressure

2007-12-19T16:48:00.000-06:00

The following is a comment I left over at Don't Call Me Veronica on a post he wrote. It made me think.

5/31: God has saved me not for anything I've done or will do but because of his grace and purpose. - Tony at Don't Call Me Veronica

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. - Ephesians 2:8-10

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

So after reading your journal entry for 5/31 my initial thought probably wasn't on line with what I assume you intended (that our salvation isn't based on our works) . . . instead I thought (and had to stop a moment to let my head really wrap around this thought) that God didn't save me for all the amazing things I might do for Him, or how I would fill this role in His body, or even for the ministry that I currently fill, but because of His grace (insert love for me as just me,not for what I bring to the table, even the big purposeful table of ministry or His church) and for His purposes (those that I can't see or know or even have a realization that I am accomplishing - purposefully invisible). Now this strikes me because instead of thinking we owe a debt to God and can work it off to get into heaven, I think a lot of believers come to God because of grace but then feel this burden of debt is owed to make up for what Christ did. And that isn't freedom, that isn't living in grace, that's putting back on the yoke of slavery and writing out own list of debts to be paid.

So all that to say, if I truly believe that God saved me not for what I can do for Him (even with Him in me) but because of His grace and His purpose than I'm freed up to be used by Him without a burden or pressure to pay back what I was freely given.

Sorry if that was a ramble or if it doesn't make sense, either way it was a good thing for me to understand today.

I want my two dollars*

2007-12-12T15:30:00.000-06:00

At the moment I have the jaw line of a man, square and firm. I'm also out three teeth, wisdom teeth. Why three, you ask? Well because I had one pulled less than a year ago after passing out at Walmart. But that's a different story.

So I'm three teeth down, one and a half days of recovery done, no more pain pills needed, and a sqare jaw. Not bad.

But back to the post title. Do you think the Tooth Fairy makes deliveries to adults? And just how much is a wisdom tooth worth in the current exchange rate?

Re-learning old lessons

2007-12-04T10:04:00.000-06:00

Friday, April 07, 2006

Collision

She hides.

She hides from the world, she hides from those closest to her, and she even hides from God.

She hides in plain sight. Diverting attention from the things she wants unseen. Masks, disguises, anything to conceal what she doesn’t want seen, doesn’t want known.

She hides behind an image of strength. Strength will hide her fear, her vulnerability, and her weaknesses. Strength is the answer.

And so strength begins to form, strength that has no power behind it. It is a façade, a charade, and yet she begins to believe it is true. The strength hardens her and she begins to think she knows best. The vulnerability and fear fade under the shadows that aren’t even real. Slowly she begins to believe this is her true self: the strong, the untouchable, the proud, and the self sufficient.

Strength is her answer, strength will hide the truth. All this just to hide. Believing in lies because admitting the truth, having it seen and known is unbearable.

But shadows fade, and charades falter.

So the One who made her comes. She stands so proud before Him, sure of who she is, strong in herself. And a great collision occurs, the strength of her against the strength of Him. One is shadow, the other is light.

And in that collision all those things she clung to, all those things she hid behind are torn away, pulled from her grasp. She fights with the strength that she has gained; she fights to remain in shadow, hidden from sight. She fights and she loses and she is left bare, weak, and vulnerable.

The very thing she feared is now the thing she must face.

Her strength became her weakness.

Broken and bare, weak and unworthy, she clings to the only One she can. She clings to the One that sees her for all she is, for everything she has tried to hide. Her tears begin to fall and shame fills her heart, for all that she wanted to keep from Him, He now sees.

And in His embrace she finds strength, not to hide her weakness but to fill it. How wrong she was in her thinking, seeing weakness as something to be ashamed of, as something to hide.

It was weakness that He wanted. It was her weakness that would lead to Him.

She finds that real strength is only really found in weakness and that is the product of surrender. So for her to be truly strong she had to be weak and to be fully weak she must surrender it all.

And so in the surrendering, she finds more than weakness but weakness filled with strength, His strength.

And so she stands once again strong,
not by her own strength,
not covered in shadows.

She stands filled with His strength.
She stands in the light of Him.
She stands because He holds her.

Your grace is sufficient for me
Your strength is made perfect
When I am weak
And all that I cling to
I lay at Your feet
Your grace is sufficient for me
Shane & Shane

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

That's just wrong

2007-12-03T15:45:00.001-06:00

Me: takes a sip of water and grimaces "Eeewww this tastes weird."

Eddie: takes a sip of water and scrunches head pondering "Yep, that tastes weird."

Jes: takes a sip of water "It tastes like bacon fat"

Me: dry heaving

the end

Transition

2007-11-29T15:13:00.000-06:00

Why does it seem like life is always in a state of transition? From whatever random point in time you happen to inhabit at the moment it always feels like wherever you came from was firm and wherever you're going will be firm but here, right now, big ol transition.

And then future becomes present and present become past and you feel like you are back in transition. But wait, I thought that past was firm and future was firm but I'm still in transition. AAAUGH!

So I guess from my perspective life just always seems to be in transition. I look with fond memories to the past and forget the craziness of the transition because it's in the past, it's done it, it's completed and that somehow makes it feel firm. And then I glance with hope at the future thinking that there must be some firm ground to set my feet upon out there. And yet when I arrive to that "firm" ground I realize that it's really the ebbs and flows of transition.

Perspective is a funny thing, from far off things look mighty different than they do up close. And that's the amazing thing about it, in the moment, close up things look so different. Transition looks scary and overwhelming and sometimes even unsurmountable. But in hindsight things aren't as bad as you thought, survival is inevitable. And when glancing out to the horizon of the future there is hope that things will be better.

And then I remember that while I'm tossed upon the waves of time, riding the transition and holding on for life, that there is something beyond this past and future. There is a timeless place that my heart can find rest. Transition is life but it isn't eternity. How great a thought is that.

Two things

2007-11-09T15:41:00.000-06:00

1. I added a link to Deals's blog (or should it be Deals' blog? - English majors help a sister out) as a special gift to my sisters. There you go Kristen and Kelli, happy birthday!

2. I got so show off my random assortment of almost useless knowledge today. In discussing the Writer's Guild Association strike and the effect that has on my mild obsession with a few TV shows (mostly The Office and Lost), I made a comment about the writers striking by marching around in pointed shoes and striped socks and then proceeded to sing the little ditty from The Wizard of Oz - "We represent the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild, and in the name of the lollipop guild, we wish to welcome you to munchkin land".

As my co-workers looked at me with those familiar quizzical faces of amusement, confusion, and a slice of fear I went on to explain that the writers were in a guild and those munchkins were in a guild. It was at that moment that both of them got the look of utter amazement and understanding and said they never understood what a guild was or what the munchkins were singing about.

TADAAAA, once again my random assortment of knowledge has brought much needed enlightenment to others. It is at these moments in life that I feel a small blossoming of pride that I have not only made someone's day brighter but have imparted to them the wisdom that has been entrusted to me.

Passion?

2007-11-08T16:32:00.000-06:00

Over the last few weeks the topic of passion, roles, gifts, and skills has been circling around our staff.

Sidenote: Is it weird that a majority of my life revolves around my job/profession? I work for a church, I direct a children's ministry, I volunteer co-leading a small group of college students, I am part of a weekly bible study, and the majority of my friends (well all) share a common faith in Christ. Is it weird that somehow my life and my profession seem to be one in the same? And who else gets to say that? It seems alltogether weird and cool at the same time, as well as a bit overwhelming.

Ok, back to the topic at hand. So these topics have been coming up and well as my mind tends to do, I've internalized the conversation and moved it inside my head and my heart. What is my passion? What are my gifts and skills? How does that fit into the roles I now inhabit? Am I in the right roles? Am I willing to admit I'm not or that maybe my roles need to tweek a bit to take advantage of my passion/gifts/skills?

You know what else has been exciting, asking other people what their passions are, their gifts/skills and askign if they see them fit with their roles. And then there is the part of me that wants to somehow help them get to a place (a role) that takes advantage of those passions/gifts/skills. I want to come alongside and offer whatever it is I have to offer to watch them find that "sweet spot" where everything intersects.

And yet when I take a deep look at myself, I'm not sure what my passions are. I know what I can do, I know what I like to do. Oh I also know what I don't like and what I can't do (although I'm so hard-headed I might just try to do what I can't so that it gets done - stubborness anyone?).

So I wonder, what is my passion? How does that fit with my gifts/skills? And how does all of that flow into the roles that I fill right now?

Looks like I might need some more inside my head time.

Looking Back

2007-11-07T16:24:00.001-06:00

So we officially dubbed today "High School Rememberance Day" at my office. This official holiday included each of us digging through closets to find yearbooks, scrapbooks, and photo albums to show off just how cool we were back in the good ol days.

First I should tell you I work with a staff that ranges in age from 21 to 37, with an average age of 28. Wow, I'm above the average age (taking a moment to let out a large sigh and hold back the tears). So our pastor (he wins the prize for oldest) was about 16 or 17 when our communication intern (the youngest) was born. Nice math I can accomplish, huh?

So this morning, we all gathered in the receptionist's pit to lock arms and skip through a trip down memory lane. And it was HI-lar-ious. There is something so innocent and yet dorky about high school. You're stuck in the place of pretending to have all your junk together when in fact you are a total mess. Fashion sucks, your hair is a disaster, and you're trying so hard to impress everyone, all while pretending to be the coolest person you know or at least better than the kid that sits next to you in spanish class.

So there was a good deal of laughter, self-depreciating jokes, and some amazing fashion statements to be in awe of today. It was fun to see what we were all like back in a same time frame since we're all in different life stages now.

From jocks to musicians to people who march to their own beat to dancers to daters to mascots to school clubbers to homecoming kings and duct-tape prom goers I work with a crazy bunch of people who keep me laughing daily. And yet I wonder if we were to all inhabit the same high school at the same time, would we have formed this merry bunch of misfits that we now make?

Adding a little color to my life

2007-11-02T15:46:00.000-05:00

A few weekends ago my friend Caron came into town and we painted my apartment. Her idea, by the way, not mine. I try to show out of town guest sa better time than picking up a paint brush and also scrubbing the tile in my shower. Ironically she enjoys a little house re-do, so off we went to Lowes after lots of hemming and hawwing on my part in picking the right shade of paint.

There's something about putting paint on the wall. It's like marking your territory (although not in a cat or dog sort of way for all you whose minds immediately went THERE). Paint is semi-permanent, takes time and effort, and is a big step beyond throwing a poster on the wall with thumb tacks.

So here I submit for your viewing pleasure the semi-permanent mark of paint on three walls.

First a few in progress pics:

And now the final product:

And all together now:

p.s. Can I just say I love that there is a diet dr pepper can sitting on my coffee table. It truly is a staple in my life.

Busy, Busy, Busy

2007-10-24T15:38:00.000-05:00

Gone are the days of posting each 24 hour period (and even a few multi-posts days).

Life is good, busy but good. I had a great friend in for the weekend and in between concerts, game playing, eating, candy corn, rain, and baby-holding we had a few minutes to paint my apartment. Thanks Caron, YOU ROCK. I'll post some pictures eventually so you can see our (well mostly her) skills with the paintbrush.

In the meantime I've been swamped with work, which is a good thing, but it does lead to a lull in blogging. So anyone have any questions?

Another year, another number . . . .

2007-10-12T09:31:00.000-05:00

Except this number changes to a whole new decade. Ah the dreaded 30, it has finally arrived.

I thought I might wake this morning with some newfound wisdom, or at least a few wrinkles to signify the beginning of wisdom. I guess the gray hairs can be lost in the blonde so I have that going for me. Also, am I supposed to feel older? wiser? more "together"?

You would think that some great fanfare would accompany this transition to a whole new number. But for me, the alarm still shook me awake this morning (blasted alarm which I hate with all my being), the coffee tasted the same and of course I could use a bit more, and thankfully no wrinkles magically appeared overnight.

So I'm 30 today, which means that when people ask me my age I might stop saying 27 (who knows why this number is stuck in my head and I honestly believe at times that is how old I am) and up it to 28 or 29.

I Heart (pun intended)

2007-09-27T15:10:00.000-05:00

I'm not much of a jewelry person and when I do choose to add a little bit of accessory to my day, it's usually something simple. And yet there is this flower ring where the petals are each made of pieces of jade that struck my fancy at a jewelry shop once. Seriously for me this ring is not only fancy but pretty "out there".

Now I'm having a swooning moment over this necklace:

I know it might seem busy and a bit over the top but there is something about letters and numbers that facinates me and then the story behind the necklace is touching. Here's the link if you want to find out more (OR even buy it for me, but it is a bit pricy) .

HA, I had to check if I was "Mean Katie"

2007-09-26T08:54:00.000-05:00

It seems my last post garnered some attention and got picked up for a post over here at Zandrai and BlogHer. So exciting!

Growing Up

2007-09-21T14:30:00.000-05:00

Why is it that on the eve of turning 30 I am just now realizing what an idiot I was at 20? You think that life would have been much easier if I had come to that conclusion when I was in a place to do something about it. But oh no, life lessons are often learned with an eye to the past.

So my question is this . . . Now that I know that I knew a whole lot of nothing at the ripe old age of 20, and yet I thought I had it all figured out, what does that say about what I think I know now that I'm almost 30?

And, hello, when did I get to be "almost 30"? I mean I was just in college . . . . 6 or 7 years ago, and high school was only . . . 5 years before that. So really shouldn't I still be languishing somewhere in the 20's eternally?

I think it's required to have some sort of mid-mid-life crisis when the big THREE-OH approaches your door, but in all honesty I'm more side-swiped by it. These last few years have snuck up on me and my basic math skills have fallen by the way-side in the process. To think that each additional year added to the sum total of years is a concept I seem to have grown slightly and yet consciously ignorant of.

I mean 30 equates to all sorts of things: marriage, family, dog, home, ability to cook a meal that doesn't come from a frozen box/bag or at least includes 5 ingredients, being a "grown up", and other such things that just seem to be a part of life at 30. Hmmm, this isn't to say that I think my life isn't up to snuff for 30, but maybe more 30 isn't up to snuff for my life. I'm happy, I have a job I love, I have amazing friends, and there are still many many years ahead for all that other "stuff".

I wonder if you ever reach the point of being a "grown up" or if it's all in perception. To a college student I'm grown up but to my parents I'm still their child. Maybe I'll always be in that state of growing and yet always seen by someone as already grown.

Remembering

2007-09-18T09:46:00.000-05:00

One great thing about a blog is that it chronicles who you are (or at least who you choose to appear as) and what you have experienced, thought, and put to paper (or in our case, screen). Sometimes it's worth it for me to read through my archives and remind myself of lessons that I'm still trying to learn.

So for today, I'm sharing with you an old post that is still "in progress" for me in terms of grasping.

Laying it down

Tepid

2007-09-14T12:44:00.000-05:00

Speaking of tepid, what exactly does that mean? The good people at dictionary.com came up with this:
1. moderately warm; lukewarm
2. characterized by a lack of force or enthusiasm

That's a pretty good description of how I've felt of late. Not good, not bad, just lukewarm with a lack of force or enthusiasm. A co-worker asked about my blogging and I made the comment that I've haven't been as inspired lately so writing has come slowly. Unfortunately, this tepid state has reached out into more than just blogging and can characterize most parts of my life from friendships to ministry to even my own relationship with God. So, I think I need to do some self-examination and have a few heart to hearts with myself and God about finding that force and entusiasm to move me from this tepid state.

9-11-2001

2007-09-11T15:32:00.000-05:00

Six years. It's been six long years since that horrible morning. A morning that made us each stop and watch as the world that we knew changed suddenly.

In some ways it feels like it was just a few months ago, the memories of where we were, what we experienced are so vivd. Then, in other ways it feels like it's was a lifetime ago and life has moved forward. I can only imagine for the many families who lost loved ones the days have been counted individually and the time has streched thinner.

As I looked at the calendar this week my thoughts were drawn to this date, this infamous date. And yet, as I woke this morning it was just another day and my mind was focused on what I needed to accomplish. It wasn't until I watched the news that I was quickly reminded of the anniversary of 9/11.

I honestly have mixed feelings about this date. Part of me wants to never forget this event, the people who lost their lives, the reality of our world. The other part of me struggles to pull myself from my day to day throughts and distractions. Callous is the word a co-worker used to describe how so many of our country respond to this memory. I chose ignorant. Ignorant to a lifetime of 9/11s, innocent of the daily fear of a terrorist attack, and yet that ignorance and innocence also shields us from the honest truth that our world is different. Or is it? Is my individual world different today than it was 6 years and one day ago? Should it be? Should I be?

Recommending . . .

2007-09-04T13:58:00.001-05:00

1. Stardust - In the vein of one of my favorite flicks (The Princess Bride) this is a great romantic-dramady.

2. Sugar Free Popcicles (thanks Jes) - yummy and only 15 calories. But since I ate 5 of them last night it really comes out to 75 calories.

3. What do you recommend?

A place of refuge

2007-08-29T14:39:00.000-05:00

A friend, Bianca, made a list of "must haves" for every gal. As I looked through the list i realized I had most of the tangible items, the stuff you spend your money on and can pick up at your local Target or mall, but I was lacking one key item . . . a place of refuge. Oh I have my apartment and living alone guarantees you lots of solo time, but I'm not sure my home is a place of refuge. This is especially the case when there's a TV to distract me from my thoughts, a kitchen and bathroom that currently need cleaning, and a million other things to eat up my time. So I'm in search of a place of refuge, from work, from distractions, and maybe just maybe from my own desire to run when I'm forced to face things that are hard.

So refuge, I'm on the lookout for you.

Popular but maybe not in the right way

2007-08-21T10:00:00.001-05:00

So it seems that Kpinion is getting some good internet traffic as of late. Unfortunately it's not for my witty sense of humor, sarcastic zingers, or even my deep and thoughtful prose. Nope, it's for this:

Click here

And while I am happy to know that my little blog is a pit stop on the world wide web, I'm not sure what kind of impression people are taking with them based on that one post. So a special thanks to Jes for helping me garner some random traffic.

P.S. I'm busy busy busy as of late so blogging has ended up further down the list. Maybe you should join the crowd and just go be mesmerized by that hairy chest and chocolates while you're waiting for me to get back in the swing of things.

Blog Down

2007-08-17T10:32:00.001-05:00

If you are reading this than you are luckier than me. See I can't see my own blog, travesty that that is. And the kicker is that I have no idea why. I own my domain name (trust me I pay good money to stake my claim to my little piece of internet real estate), but someone out there seems to think that I don't and they so rudely replaced my blog with some cheesy advertisement page that has pop-ups (the dirty word of internet life). So until I get things figured out, I'm posting blindly and hoping for the best.

SYTYCD

2007-08-14T16:56:00.000-05:00

National tour here I come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, no, I'm not ashamed to admit I'm addicted and I like it.

Retreat?

2007-08-09T15:38:00.000-05:00

We just got back from a 3 day staff retreat. While it was a great time of setting vision, brainstorming, and good community building,I'm dead tired. It always seems that I need a retreat after any retreat.

P.S. This is the best I could muster for a post Jes, so I hope if pleases your demands. If not, please contact my people, you know the number, and they will mediate a solution.

Great Weekend

2007-08-06T13:09:00.000-05:00

Really great.

That's all.

:)

Conversation

2007-08-03T13:31:00.000-05:00

The following took place after I delighted my co-workers with the rap version of "Lean on Me"

Me: I probably need to be on medication

David (our college age graphic design intern): Yeah . . . . (with full on head tilt and look off into space)

Wavering between laughter and dry heaving

2007-07-30T13:40:00.001-05:00

Sunday night we had a potluck dinner event for out church that entailed me overseeing childcare for 40+ kiddos ranging from infants to elementary age. I was also slated to speak before the adults in attendance and share some thoughts on the last month of prayer that our church had committed to in regards to our future. Interestingly enough (or better yet only in the world of Katie) these two things intersected in a very ironic way.

In the span of 10 minutes:

I attempted to comfort a sweet 2 year old who was having severe separation anxiety. In the midst of her crying she began to cough which led to some pretty amazing projectile vomiting of the aforementioned potluck dinner items. (Side note: I know exactly which items she ate now, the partial noodles on my shirt were a dead giveaway). So sweet little girl puking on herself, me, and the carpet led to catlike reflexes on my part and the other volunteers.

After cleaning her up (she was very distraught about her shoes being dirty) and handing her off to mom, I had a quick pow-wow with my co-worker about scrubbing the public speaking part of my evening. After he assured me that he couldn't see any latent puke on my clothes, I did a quick paper towel cleaning of myself, washed my hands and arms and popped into the program part of the evening. As I stood there waiting for my cue, I looked at him and asked if I smelled like throw-up. Let's just say that his facial expression spoke more than words. As I went up on stage I tried to breathe through my mouth so that I wouldn't have to smell myself.

Call it adrenaline or denial but I got through my part of the program pretty well from my perspective. A clean t-shirt later I was back with the infants trying to head off any further puking episodes.

Oh and later that night, sweet little throw up girl comes running up to me with a big smile on her face. Thankfully I don't think she's associated me with a traumatic life event.

I have an interesting but never boring job.

Tagged

2007-07-26T10:32:00.000-05:00

Tony over at Don't Call Me Veronica tagged me for 8 random facts so here goes:

1. I like new toothbrushes, but I'm very particular about my toothbrushes. They must be soft with a compact head and have a distinctive bristle pattern. This usually results in me buying three or four toothbrushes at once because finding one with my qualifications is hard work.

2. I HATE snakes and refuse to go past the entrance of the "snake-atorium" (or Reptile House if you must be accurate). On a hot summer day in Texas the air-conditioner gets me through the door but my fear prevents me from going any further.

3. I eat fast. Very fast. I think it is a product of working at summer camp where you had 20 minutes if you were lucky to wolf down your food while jumping up and singing, making announcements, refilling trays and pitchers, etc.

4. I am ADDICTED to the show "So You Think You Can Dance".

5. I own too many pairs of flip flops, about a dozen in fact. Oh, and I still want more. If I could live in flip flops life would be about perfect.

6. I've always wanted to dye my hair red but been way too much of a chicken to do so. Maybe one day . . .

7. I have very vivid, story-like dreams. I'm not quite sure if it is normal, but it sure makes waking up in the morning an adventure.

8. I talk to myself . . . outloud sometimes.

Just a lot going on

2007-07-23T13:49:00.000-05:00

So it seems my blogging abilities have taken a nosedive of late. I'm still here, trust me on this one, it just seems like the hours tick by quicker in the day than normal and I have a heap on my plate. So, to anyone out there wondering, I haven't entered the witness protection program and gone underground, I'm just busy.

Posting will hopefully resume with some normalcy in the near future.

In the meantime, I had a funny conversation last night about the possibility of renting a brain. Crazy I know, I'm quite secure with my random conversations. But think about it. What it you could trade out your brain and all that came with it for a newer model. You would inherit new memories, new personality traits, new skills, new lots of things. Sounds pretty amazing in fact, but at what cost? You would gain all kinds of "new" but lose a lot of "old". For a random conversation that included lots of laughter it's actually a pretty deep thought. Would you want a new brain and would you be willing to pay the price?

In Honor of Troy

2007-07-18T09:24:00.000-05:00

Troy Dungan, our local meteorologist, is retiring after tonight's forecast. FAMOUS for his bow ties, he's borderline star-status. Goodbye Troy, we'll miss you and the bow tie.

Guilty Pleasure

2007-07-13T14:05:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I'm a bit obsessed with this Burger King commercial. Now I HATE Burger King as a food option but this commercial makes me giggle non-stop. I like to think that I have a BROAD sense of humor.

Time Travelling

2007-07-10T12:38:00.001-05:00

This weekend I saw Transformers (more than meets the eye . . . robots in disguise). As I sat in a packed theater, I realized that this was one of those moments when you are equally an adult and yet still a child. I was excited, giddy, and maybe just maybe squealing a bit (but just a bit) as Optimus Prime transformed from a Big Rig into a robot.

It was like a quick trip back to my childhood when I sat transfixed in front of the television watching a cartoon that I believed deep in my heart could be real. I wanted a car that transformed into a robot, I wanted to live in Barbie's dream house, I wanted to live with Rainbow Brite and My Little Ponies or even the Care Bears, heck I wanted to be a Real American Hero (G.I. Joe).

I'm glad I don't take myself so seriously and let the kiddo inside me come out and play every once in a while.

Fishbowl

2007-07-05T12:56:00.000-05:00

Living in a fishbowl is an interesting experience. You know you are on display. You can see everyone else watching you. And yet it is comical that you are at once being watched by everyone but avoided by everyone at the same time. I guess the fishbowl doesn't look inviting and no one wants to jump in with you and participate. And yet you get to look at and watch everyone watching you, which is entertaining on its own.

Remember those t-shirts . . . .

2007-07-02T12:49:00.000-05:00

The ones that said something like "My grandparents went to Niagra Falls and all I got was this stupid t-shirt"?

Well, I for one, love t-shirts. The more random the mo better (ha, there's some flava for all you out there). It's exciting to pull something out of your drawer, put it on, and have a fun memory attached to it. Oh, other people might not know the backstory but you do and you laugh a little on the inside each time you remember it.

Evil Ducks

2007-06-28T10:17:00.000-05:00

Ducks, they are sweet, harmless, kind creatures that bring up such images as yellow rubber duckies in a child's bubble bath, Donald Duck and his lisp, or a line of baby white ducklings following their mother. I do not think of evil, demonic, hitmen ducks who loiter outside your car waiting to attack you as you pick up your morning coffee.

A few weeks ago I stopped at my local Starbucks. As I pull into a parking space by the sidewalk I notice two ducks waddling around in front of the store fronts. DUCKS on the sidewalk. There is a creek, small river, drainage ditch about 300 yards away on the other side of some parking lots and a shopping center. I can only assume that this is where these ducks originated from, but now they had taken up residence in front of a dry cleaners and donut shop (I'm not sure which one was their primary destination).

I know you're thinking: "So? It's ducks, Katie, bit deal." Well these were not cute little white ducks with yellow bills but weird looking ducks with black and white feathers and red bills. Demonic Ducks! And I'm convinced they were staring at me. Since I felt silly pulling out of my parking space and moving my car I went ahead and got out and just hurried in the other direction to complete my coffee run.

As I walked back to my car I noticed the ducks were now directly in front of my car as if they were waiting for me. And, like any normal person, I had a momentary freak out. What was I supposed to do with two ducks blocking my car. Are they attack ducks? Do they want my coffee? Have I, unbeknown to me, started some sort of poultry war?

I mustered up my courage and began to walk to my car door thinking if I ignored them they would ignore me. WRONG! Duck #1, the aggressive one, starts waddling toward me. TOWARD ME! In this moment I wasn't sure what to do, so I scurried (yes I'm a wuss) to the door, hopped in my car, and promptly locked my door. I'm not sure if I thought the duck would somehow grow in height and develop hands or if maybe he was some sort of ninja duck who could jump up to my window and open my car door with his webbed feet.

From the confines of my car I looked out at this duck now staring at me through my window and I had to laugh at myself. I had just run from a duck, a demonic duck, but a duck no less. I live a very peculiar life.

So what I'm going with the next time I have to wear a nametag

2007-06-26T10:53:00.000-05:00

Home

2007-06-20T13:49:00.000-05:00

Last night, my grandfather was called home by His Lord and Savior. He joins my grandmother who passed away three years ago and they are both now delighting in the presence of our gracious and loving God.

I rejoice that they are together again, that they are free from the trappings of this world, but mostly I rejoice that they have finished the race set before them and have heard the words "Well done my good and faithful servant." This life they lived on earth was but a vapor compared to the eternity they begin in the presence of a God who called them to Him, loved them to the point of the death of His Son, and now delights as they worship Him in His presence.
I wrote this post three years ago about the death of my grandmother and it rings so true to what my heart is feeling now with my grandfather's death. I miss them both dearly and yearn for the day I will once again be with them, as we join together at the throne of God.

Untitled

Planning and Thinking (I'm multi-tasking)

2007-06-13T09:17:00.000-05:00

I'm up to my eyeballs in VBS stuff. Well maybe not literally, but at least up to my knees in boxes and decorations and crafts and referee jerseys and raglan shirts and tents and fake turf and then just the regular Sunday stuff.

But I am ruminating on a topic. So I put forth to you a few questions. When you hear the word beauty what do you think of? How would you define beauty? And, is beauty important to you?

Think before you speak

2007-06-08T13:29:00.000-05:00

TRUST ME ON THIS ONE.

It can save you from a red face and the sound of laughter surrounding you at all times.

Oh, and if you do mis-speak be ready for whatever you said to be shared with everyone you know.

SIGH.

Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside

2007-06-06T15:41:00.000-05:00

"You were TOTALLY cool before cool was cool."

And then I danced

2007-06-04T16:28:00.000-05:00

In two weeks I will be running my first-ever VBS. Oh, I spent 6 years working at summer camp and worked for 6 years in a school but for some reason I'm filled with a mixture of excitement and total and utter fear over this excursion into the world of kiddo day-camp. Maybe it's because I'm in charge, me, of about 100 kiddos. Luckily our old children's director is helping (she's a pro) and we have amazing volunteers but to be honest I would feel more comfortable running a meeting, organizing a business plan, or doing anything with statistics (did I mention I'm a nerd).

The best part of all this is that I get to show off my goofy side (which usually doesn't appear in those business plan meetings I was mentioning earlier) because along with two other ladies, I'm leading our singing and worshiping time . . . on stage . . . dancing.

This of course means that for the last two weeks anytime I'm in my car I'm listening to the 13 or so songs that we'll be singing and dancing (I use this term loosely mind you) to in two weeks. The ironic part, I like them. In fact I ROCK out to them. With choreography even.

See we make up movements (the loosely termed dancing) to go with the songs because that gets the kids more involved and participating. So for the last two weeks not only have I been listening to, singing along with, and generally rocking out to the music, I've also been car-dancing with possible movements.

I know I must look like a nut to the other drivers out there on the road, and if they could hear what I'm singing to I would be more entertaining. But for the next two weeks if you see a blond doing her own choreographed show in her car give a honk cause it's probably me.

Is it all just one big reality show?

2007-05-29T09:13:00.000-05:00

I don't often comment on pop culture here on Kpinion. It's not that I don't have an opinion on pop culture, I've just never really taken the time to write about it. Oh but I take the time to make myself aware of it. I get the highlights from the internet (although tmz is not on my list of must reads), I watch E!, and I have been known to purchase a People and US every once in a while.

Why is it that the life of celebrities, celebutantes, and then just the infamous intrigue us? Oh a few of them are doing things of worth but for the most part the press goes to those who make the most screw-ups. We're entranced by Alec Baldwin's voice mail to his daughter, Paris's impending jail time, and now Lindsay's run-in with the law (followed by her second stint in rehab).

Mix all this pop-culture with the onset of the reality show and you have the best of the worst of our culture. Survivor, Amazing Race, The Bachelor, The Real Wedding Crashers, even the ground breaking Real World. All set up this idea of "reality" for you to watch from the comfort of your living room couch when in fact they really just promote backstabbing, bed jumping, and all those other things that we see played out in the tabloids.

So I wonder if Hollywood is really just one big reality show. A little bit reality and a lot more entertainment, all mixed up into a package that we can't seem to turn our eyes from.

What the HECK?

2007-05-24T11:42:00.000-05:00

LOST

Season Finale

WOW.

Such great television, such great actors, such a great story. Just when you think you know where the story is leading you come around a corner and everything changes. Beatings, Smackdowns, Hurley in his own Mystery Machine (all hail scooby doo), Charlie making a huge sacrifice, and a glimpse at the future (or is it the present or is it a possible future or present). AMAZING.

I'm addicted and now I have to bide my time until January.

So are you a LOST addict like me? Do you have other shows that are "never-missers"?

Discuss.

In response to the last post

2007-05-22T14:02:00.000-05:00

Interesting, I've realized that the topic of marriage gets lots of emotional responses from readers. I will admit I was a bit shocked by the comment highlighted in the last post that was made to my friend, but mostly I found humor in it for the audacity of her conclusion.

Like Spaghettipie said, this can be such a divisive topic when it shouldn't be. If we can find unity in denominations, in races, in wealth, in so many other things why should marital status divide us? We are, in fact, all one body in Christ, the married and the single. And while marriage does not equal a higher status in life or in Christianity, it is something that God created to give us pleasure and such an amazing picture of His love for us.

Can I still know the love of the Savior without being married? Of course.

Might I have a different understanding upon being married? Of course.

But does one trump the other? No.

After going to check out what Piper said (thanks Jimmy) I related so much to the foundational message that our relationship with Christ is first and foremost. I think that many married couples would agree with this, and go on to say that without the foundation of Christ many a marriage will fail because we are looking to another person to fulfill our needs and worth. Piper also goes on to say that it is from our relationship with Christ that other relationships are built and more importantly held together.

I hope that the heart of my post came across in my words. I desire to be married, it is a hope I have set my heart upon, but I rest in the sovereignty of God and seek His will for my life above my own. So if this means I will marry than I rejoice in that, if it means I won't then I rejoice in that too. Either way I realize that my most precious relationship, the one from which all others flow, the one that will last beyond this life into eternity is set and firm. No, Jesus in not my boyfriend or my husband, He is my Lord and my Savior and so much more.

My words in the last post were not to show bitterness or snarkiness toward marrieds, more they were to bring to light a situation that so many of us (singles, marrieds without kids, jobless, you name a situation that carries with it expectations) fall into when we are expected to fit into a mold that was never created by God but by other expectations of what a "Christian" should look like.

"I guess that's just not your thing"

2007-05-17T11:33:00.001-05:00

I was talking with a friend the other day on the ever present subject of "Singleness". Did anyone else just hear the song from Star Wars where Darth Vadar makes his entrance (daa dum da dum dum da dum da dum da dummmm)? My friend told me about attending a baby shower and seeing a woman whom she has known from childhood. Their conversation went a little like this:

"So is there a special man in your life?"

"No, not really, it's just me"

"Oh, I guess that's just not your thing, huh?" (I assume that the sympathetic head tilt with bobbing movement was part of this show.)

My friend looked at her dumbfounded not quite knowing how to respond to a question/statement like that. But in relating the story to me she had some good responses with my favorite being:

"Nope, I'm just a sad single woman. In fact, let me pull my hair back in a bun, parting it down the middle of course, and live all by my lonesome with tons of cats." (ok I might have added just a little bit but the bun comment was all her's)

Why is it that at a certain age being single is a no win situation. If you're single and wanting to be married the rebuke is "CONTENTMENT". And yet, is you're single and content you are charged with the battle cry of "GET OUT THERE, MAKE YOURSELF AVAILABLE."

So which is it?

Someone explain to me how this works. I'm supposed to not be looking (because of course "it" comes to you when you're not looking) and yet I'm also supposed to be available, approachable, and strategically placed (like a well placed commercial for ice cream in the middle of a Hallmark made for TV movie).

Personally, I'm pretty well adjusted to my singleness and yet still holding on pretty tightly to the hope that I will be married one day. So if I'm ok with it, why does everyone else feel the need to weigh in with pressure from both sides?

That said, I burst out laughing in shock and awe when my friend told me that woman's response. In fact I think I will borrow that nugget from her as my new answer to the every present question.

"So Katie, are you dating anyone?"

"Nope, it's just not my thing."

I have a feeling that will stop that conversation in its tracks.

Now that would be funny

2007-05-15T10:02:00.000-05:00

Saturday night I went to the wedding of a life-long friend. We've known each other since elementary school, grew up together, worked at summer camp together, lived together, and have memories to fill pages upon pages. It was a beautiful evening filled with tons of friends from different parts of her life (which just happen to be different parts of my life too - lucky).

At her reception she had this amazing indoor tent made of fabric with a crystal chandelier hanging from the center. As the bride and groom took their first dance inside the tent one of my friends sitting with me commented how beautiful it was and I replied that I especially liked the chandelier.

At this moment my dear friend Roger (husband of one Jes of Chirky) exhibited his ability to execute perfect timing coupled with the perfect statement by making this comment:

"Yes, Katie but at your wedding it will be a crystal encrusted saddle hanging over you for your first dance."

At that point we all lost it and Roger sat with a simple grin on his face.

Shalom

2007-05-08T13:02:00.000-05:00

I'm finishing up a study on the book of Romans. Just some light reading of course, nothing major in that book (sarcasm inserted here).

In fact, part of the text we were looking at is this:

I appeal to you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to strive together with me in your prayers to God on my behalf, that I may be delivered from the unbelievers in Judea, and that my service for Jerusalem may be acceptable to the saints, so that by God's will I may come to you with joy and be refreshed in your company. May the God of peace be with you all. Amen. Romans 15: 30-33

One of our questions related to Paul's use of the phrase "God of peace" in many of his letters and why we thought he focused on that characteristic of God so often. It also strikes me that Paul often begins and ends his letters wishing God's grace and peace upon the reader.

As I thought through my answer two things stuck out to me. Paul, the Jew of all Jews (save for Christ that is) probably never experienced a moment of peace in his Jewish faith. When your entire hope of salvation is built upon your ability to keep the law, perform ceremonies and sacrifices, and attain a standard of perfection, peace must be an unreachable dream. And yet, when you are fully aware of your inability to earn God's favor and are at the same time at rest in Christ, peace abounds. So you can reason that law = no peace, while grace = full peace.

And then a more specific answer jumped out to me on this question. Paul is asking for prayers from the church at Rome, specifically for his future trip to Jerusalem where he will face capture and torture.

And now, behold, I am going to Jerusalem, constrained by the Spirit, not knowing what will happen to me there, except that the Holy Spirit testifies to me in every city that imprisonment and afflictions await me. But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. Acts 20: 22-24:

Facing the unknown is one thing, facing a possible angry mob is something else, but knowing with assurance that you will be imprisoned and afflicted and walking into that willfully takes a peace that is without measure. This is the peace that characterizes Paul's life. This is the peace he has found in the midst of grace. This is the peace that he finds in His Lord. And this is the peace that he speaks of to all who will listen.

I want that peace. I know I have it. I know it is a product of the grace that covers me. I want to take hold of that peace and let it overwhelm my life in such a way that I willfully walk through life fearing nothing, rejoicing in everything, and praising God through all things.

The Wedding Album

2007-05-04T13:41:00.000-05:00

So a few weeks ago I left for the west coast on my tour of weddings. Here is a little peek at Caron's wedding with this awesome photo montage or collage or whatever you choose to call it.

The one where I remind you how much I am addicted to LOST

2007-05-03T11:03:00.000-05:00

Ok folks, I know that many people have jumped off the LOST train and headed for the hills. Something about the slow start to the year and that horrendous break there in the middle, the focus on The Others and away from our beloved set of plane-wreck castaways, and even the joke that was Nikki and Paulo (although being buried alive was an amazing solution to this hiccup) has caused many a person to bemoan the show or stop watching all the same.

I am not that person.

Oh yes, there are episodes that leave me wanting something more, but I keep coming back all the same. In fact, some of my favorite scenes are action-less and don't really develop the story. For instance, I love in the episode about Hurley where he finds that van, gets it running, and all the guys pile in for a little joyride in the dirt. A simple scene, no mystery involved, no big action or drama, just four guys tooling around in an old VW van. But that simplicity it what makes it so perfect. I couldn't help but think of them as young boys, taking their parent's car without permission, and just having some innocent fun. It was one of those moments where you remember that these characters are supposed to be real people, not just chess pieces in this great island mystery.

Now, I read all the theories out there, and let me say it is a trip down literary lane with memories of high school and college as people try to deconstruct the story line in an attempt to predict it and dare I say claim some control over it. But that's what i like so much about this show, there is a grand scheme but we don't know it, and as much as we think we have it figured out we are thrown for a loop each time. But one things stays the same in all of this and that is the characters and the development of their individual stories.

There is something about seeing people and what we assume of them being turned upside down as we see them live through unexpected and crazy situations. We get a glimpse into who they were before they had to adapt to this new reality they now live in. We also get to see they aren't exactly who we assumed them to be. They have stories, they have baggage (literally and figuratively).

In fact, think about that one, throughout the series there has been a focus on baggage in one way or another. People wanted to find their own when they crashed because it reminded them of who they are, or maybe now who they were. Nikki and Paulo (whose names are spoken with hissing in the background) spent their entire time on the island looking for their baggage because it held the one thing the thought most dear, their past. Too bad that obsession lead to a pretty awesome death.

So with all the mystery and theories and action that fill this show, it's the people that I love to watch, the development of their stories (past, present, and future), and how those stories intermix both before and now.

East coast, West coast throw down

2007-04-25T13:21:00.000-05:00

The object of dissension:

CUPCAKES

Magnolia Bakery (coming out of NYC, yo)

vs.

Sprinkles (like, you know, from, like, Beverly Hills)

Now I've never tasted Magnolia's cupcakes from their store (although a friend did make some from Martha's recipe and they were yummy) but Big D (Dallas) just got a Sprinkles and well I'm addicted.

Three dollars for a cupcake you say? Inconceivable. I know, I know there are better ways to spend my money but they are just so good and addictive. Hmmm and there are so many flavors. So far I've tried the red velvet, lemon coconut, and peanut butter chip (AMAZING). There are so many other flavors too, it's like cupcake heaven.

Alas, I'm on a cupcake boycott for a while (for the sake of my bank account and my hips) but if I ever make it to NYC I'll have to do a taste test of my own to see how Magnolia match up.

On the topic of public restrooms

2007-04-25T10:58:00.000-05:00

Who new a public restroom could be so intriguing?

For instance:

Did you know that the Portland airport practices water conservation in their potties?

My favorite part is the descriptors they use for the specific bodily function you are commencing in.

Do you see it? #1 or #2. Is that proper technical jargon?

And then there is the ever so handy dual purpose soap.

You know just in case you are wanting to do some extra primping in the PUBLIC restroom sink area.

HAIR and BODY SHAMPOO.

Overheard*

2007-04-23T15:52:00.000-05:00

"Take Jesus out of your mouth"

*And the gal who said this even suggested I blog about it, so miss spaghettiepie you are now a blogstar on kpinion. Congratulations!

Interview

2007-04-20T10:04:00.000-05:00

Jes over at Chirky is participating in a little interview adventure. She thought really long and hard to give me the following questions of information that obviously she doens't know about me (although we were roommates - TWICE). And so I thought long and hard and then just decided to type whatever came to my mind.

And away we go:

You must move to either Bombay or Helsinki. Which one and why?
Well to make such a big decision as this I of course had to do some research.

By the way, if we want to be technical Bombay is now known as Mumbai (didn't know that but thank you Wikipedia). After reading a bit about it, there are a few turnoffs for me - pretty severe factions at war with each other resulting in terroristic attacks, two seasons: humid and dry, lots and lots of people, 13 million in the city alone to be exact.

Ok, after some reading (again thank you Wikipedia), Helsinki wins hands down. Mild climate, hey I live in Texas but I actually like the cold, amazing architecture and geography, not too many people (just a little over 1 million in the city and surruounding area), I might actually be able to pick up the language and look like I belong there (remember I'm pale and blonde and kind of nordic looking), amazing cultural areas and BEACHES, lots and lots of beaches (wheee), and the economy seems pretty good (gosh I'm a nerd) and they have a tendency to hire non-Finns (although give me a few months to pick up the language and lose my southern drawl and I would pass for a Finn).

So Helsinki it would be. In fact part of me wants to add it to the list of places I want to visit one day.

What is your favorite state fair-type food?
For all of you non-Texans, let me start by explaining that the State Fair is a major event for us down here. There are rides, exhibits, but the biggest draw is the FOOD (well that and the Texas/OU game played on the fair grounds). If you watch a newscast around fair time, they are always talking about the food and what is being deep fried this year.

Jes so wisely asked about "state fair-type" food since you don't want to exclude anything that might be thought of by the crazy minds that seach for more things to deep fry.

I'm a simple girl really. Oh, I like my fried foods (in general that is) but I would lean more toward a corny dog with mustard, ice cold Dr. Pepper, and a big ice cream cone than say a deep fried twinkie.

Do you have a secret talent?
Yes, but if I share it here than would it be a secret anymore? No I don't think so. Therefore I will share my non-secret talents. I am a good faller. Now you might not count this as a talent but I do because will all my falling experience I have yet to break a single bone in my body - that is talent my friends.

But if you are looking for more of a talent that you would see on stage somewhere than alas I am saddly lacking in that area. I can recall random facts that offer little to no value at any given moment thereby filling the suckage of dead air in a conversation gone bad. That is a talent but it really isn't stage worthy.

Hmmmm maybe I need to go learn a talent, or are you just born with talent, darn I need some talent here people. Suggestions?

What is your #1 favorite movie of all time?
I've already complained to Jes about this question as I find it rather limiting and unfair. There are so many genres of movies that to limit them to just one movie is painful. So I thumb my nose at this whole idea of giving only one answer and will give you my categories:

Chick Flick: Pride and Prejudice (long or short version will suffice)
Manly Movie: Braveheart (something about fighting for freedom, honor, and truth gets me, that and I can handle pretty much any war-type flick without screaming or cringing)
Suspense: The Village (I realize most people hated this movie but I liked the story and what it said about separating yourself from the world)
Childhood Favorite: The Secret of Nimh (love this movie, love it)
Epics: Lord of the Rings Trilogy (go ahead call me a nerd, but I saw each movie on opening night and own both the theatrical and extended editions, I love this story, L.O.V.E. it and need to set aside a day to watch them all back to back)
Can watch over and over again: Princess Bride (If pressed to pick an ultimate favorite this would probably be it. If you can watch a movie over and over again and enjoy it just the same if not more each successive time it should be your favorite. I've probably memorized this entire movie (more because in college one day at work I was bored and read through the screenplay).

So there you go my movie list.

What's your most irrational fear?

Irrational fear? I guess I should ask if any of my fears are actually rational? Or better yet do I actually have fears? I mean there are things that I generally don't like, soggy bread, snakes, spiders, but do I fear these? And then I wonder if there is anything that would just paralyze me with fear if I encountered it. So I might have to think about this one a bit more, because right now I'm coming up with a big blank. I have worries and dislikes but nothing so huge and overwhelming that I would call it a fear.

Ok so now for the rest of the game.

Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” [Or you could say something about my charming wit, beautiful hair, etc.] <--Y'all. Am lame. I literally copied and pasted this section from Whoorl's site, and didn't even notice this sentence until someone left a comment about my great hair and I was all, "What? How do they know? It's totally true, though." Am leaving it up in case any one else wants to participate in the flattery. Shameful, I know. Now the stuff in Pink is a direct quote from Jes but Iwant to include it just in case you want to say something about my hair. Ha, we're both fishing for hair compliments.
I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

One Year Ago

2007-04-18T16:30:00.000-05:00

Hello all.

It seems that of late my blogging has been hit or miss, which really translates to "I really enjoy my new job and it keeps me busy so I haven't been able to grab a few minutes during the day and put on paper(or computer screen) what is floating in my mind". But I'm hoping to get back in the game and put up some new thoughts and ruminations that are trapped up in my noggin.

It's actually quite a trip down memory lane for me to look through my posts from the last few years. Some make me laugh, some make me cry, and some take me back to a feeling or a time in my past.

So in honor of that I figured I would pick out a few from April of 2006 to share with you. For some reason these posts just mark some "moments" in my life, some truth that I needed to realize, and some expression that I needed to get out.

Collision

Slavery

Met by Grace

Choices

TEMPTATION

2007-04-17T13:38:00.000-05:00

Free ice cream cones at Ben and Jerry's.

FREE

ICE CREAM

BEN AND JERRY'S

Why dost thou tempt me?

Willpower gone.

Leaving now to succumb to temptation.

Weak

But eating ice cream

One Down and One to go

2007-04-09T18:07:00.000-05:00

First off, CONGRATS to Steve and Katie Sporre. Their wedding was Saturday and perfectly them. Go check out Steve's blog HERE to see why.

Well that's one wedding down and one more to go. Wednesday, I continue my tour of the west coast with a drive to Cali-forn-I-A for Caron and Brad's wedding which will be Sunday.

So that's me, what are you up to?

Tour of Weddings

2007-04-05T13:54:00.000-05:00

I'm embarking on a tour of weddings beginning tomorrow with an aeroplane ride to the west coast. First stop, Portland for Steve's wedding and then next weekend it's off to Cali for Caron's wedding.

Ironic thing about all this?

I can thank this little blog for getting me to these weddings. Steve met me on my blog (and yes I'm saying he met me because he initiated contact, and that makes him have a just hint of weird stalkerness) and I met Caron through Steve after fulfilling the friend exchange program that was set up when he visited Texas and then I visited Oregon.

So, here I go to attend the wedding of a great friend who came from blogland and then be part of a wedding of a precious and wonderful friend who came as a byproduct of blogland.

In my mind this whole post has some sort of background music to it. The really cheezy kind that is instrumental and played behind dramatic scenes on soap operas. And as I wrap up this little post the words begin to fade to black as the theme song crescendos and the icon for my own little life story pops up on screen.

Oh, also this means I might be incommunicado for the next few days. I'll try to pop on when i get a chance.

Happy Easter everyone.

School Project

2007-04-04T08:40:00.000-05:00

If I was a youngin in a private christian school, the rebel part of me would have stolen this idea and watched with glee how the teacher reacted.

Peeps for Passover

Mission Impossible

2007-04-03T13:35:00.000-05:00

As I've been reading through Romans for my Bible study this year something has struck me. God often asks us to do the impossible, at least the impossible for us. He asks us to love our neighbors . . . to even love our enemies. He asks us to serve others . . . again to serve our enemies. He asks us to be part of His body and do His work . . . and yet He asks us to do this with gifts that are only from Him.

God asks us to do the impossible. He calls us to be not like ourselves but to be like Him, to love not like we want to love but like He loves, to live not as we see fit but as He lived. He asks us to be like Him, which is impossible if we try on our own accord. And yet something I heard last night reminded me that God asks us to do the impossible while providing us with the ability to do just that, the impossible: "The same power of the Holy Spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells in you."

And this all seems so timely as we march through the week leading up to the most impossible thing ever accomplished by a man. Life from death, both for Him and therefore for us.

Success

2007-04-02T11:26:00.000-05:00

It's a bit of a blow to your confidence when children begin crying the moment they see you. Many of our kiddos in children's ministry associate me with the dreaded event of their parents leaving for an hour and so the waterworks begin as soon as they see me.

My goal has been to stop the tears and save my self-esteem. This Sunday marked a moment of success. One of our sweet toddlers who gives me the look of death and immediately bursts into tears while whimpering "go, go, go" (for go home) every time she sees me on Sunday morning turned a corner. When I dropped into her room to check on another toddler she came up to me, lifted her sweet little arms and wanted me to pick her up and play with her. I'll admit my heat jumped and I probably got the biggest smile on my face.

SUCCESS SWEET SUCCESS

One down just a dozen more to go.

Your story

2007-03-29T09:20:00.000-05:00

Some people believe that there are many ways to God, that all religions end in the same place. I believe that there is one way to God, through His son, Jesus Christ. But I also believe that there are many different paths that people take to encountering Jesus.

Some meet Him on the road
Some meet Him at a miraculous feast
Some meet Him while crying at His feet
Some meet Him in the clutches of a self-righteous mob armed with stones
Some meet Him after denying they ever knew Him
Some meet Him as a child healed from sickness
Some meet Him as the first sight for an old man blinded for life
Some meet Him in the pew of a church
Some meet Him in a coffee shop
Some meet Him early in life
Some meet Him right before their last breath
Some meet Him in moments of pure joy
Some meet Him at the absolute end of themselves

The place, the time, the situation are all our own; special, unique, and miraculous to each of us but the one thing that unites us all is that we've met Him.

"Better than nothing"

2007-03-27T13:32:00.000-05:00

Is it a good thing when your boss makes the following statement?

"Well there was Katie and she's better than nothing."

Good thing I have a wicked sense of humor and a pretty secure opinion of myself, that and sarcasm is my natural language.

Maybe I should make t-shirts with that ego booster.

"Better than nothing"

Would you buy one?